All the wrong reasons
by GameOn
Summary: Castle and Beckett are masters of miscommunication. So many lost opportunities that make you want to slap them sometimes. Here's a story of how they get together but for all the wrong reasons.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I'm only to say this once. I don't own Castle. Consider it repeated ad nauseam at the start of each chapter**

Chapter 1

Beckett could still feel the frustration of the day coating her like a film of grime. Unfortunately that was the reality of being a cop, not every day was a win, and today was definitely in the loss basket. It had started out promisingly enough, they had turned up a witness who had seen a blue sedan being driven by a white male in his thirties leave the murder scene not long after the gun shots were heard.

That was enough evidence for them to bring in Sam Collins, the victim's drug dealer, in for questioning. Like many smart criminals who had been through the system before, he had lawyered up immediately. Collins had sat there with a smarmy look on his face the whole time, not saying anything except to his lawyer. They had got nothing out of him except for an alibi, which she was sure was fake.

Without any grounds to detain him further, they'd had to cut him loose. "Well I certainly enjoyed meeting you Detective. Let me know if you ever want to play cops and robbers again, but without the witnesses," had been Collins' parting words. His suggestion along with the leer that had accompanied it had made her feel as dirty as if he had actually touched her.

Castle had taken a step forward, ready to leap to her defense but she'd blocked him. There was no point in rising to the bait, that was what Collins wanted. Instead she'd said, "Let me know if you enjoy playing that game with your cell mate when I arrest you for murder later." It was petty and she knew it but she had certainly felt better for saying it.

By lunchtime they hadn't turned up any new clues and unfortunately Collins had somehow managed to get to their witness. The poor woman had been intimidated into recanting her story, so now they officially had nothing. She had tried to persuade her that the police would protect her but the witness hadn't believed it. Beckett couldn't blame her, scum like Collins weren't above hurting anyone who got in their way.

Her whole team had stayed late into the evening; looking over phone records, video surveillance, and forensic evidence, trying to find anything that would link Collins with the murder but to no avail. At nine-thirty she had finally called it a day, sending everyone home to get some rest, hopefully they would come back to it with fresh eyes tomorrow.

* * *

As soon as she saw the figure sitting next to her apartment door she got a sinking feeling. "Sorry Josh, I got caught up at work and totally forgot about our date tonight," she rushed to apologize.

He sighed as he followed her into the apartment. "This is getting to be a bit of a pattern with you isn't it?"

Why was it that she always felt on the defensive around him? They had both known that their respective jobs were demanding; there were long and often inconvenient hours. At first he'd been very understanding about it, but more recently it had become an issue. Not that they'd really had a fight about it, he was too nice a guy to yell or scream at her. It was more like an itch, right in the middle of your back, irritating and hard to scratch at.

"Look I am truly sorry but you know that my job can be like that sometimes. I won't always be able to keep our dates."

"I get that Kate, I do. With my job, I understand about missing events. It's not the fact that you stood me up that's the problem, it's the fact that you didn't even remember. If I can't make it because I'm stuck in surgery or I'm running late for whatever reason, I always try to call you or I get someone else to send you a message to let you know. That's because I make you a priority in my life. I'm just wondering when you are going to do the same for me."

She felt like utter crap because he was right. There really was no defense she could put forward. He was her boyfriend, he deserved so much more from her. Her job was a big part of who she was, but if she didn't want to burn out then it couldn't be the only thing in her life. However she couldn't blame everything on her job, there was another reason why Josh wasn't a priority for her.

That reason was a certain dark haired writer who had persisted in shadowing her despite her initial objections. He irritated her with his childish remarks, frustrated her when he wouldn't obey her orders and pushed her into doing things, sometimes against her objections. But when he was around, God, he made her feel alive.

There had been a moment last summer when she had contemplated having a real relationship with him. She'd screwed up her courage, ignored her fears and would have told him how she felt but he'd chosen that moment to go off to the Hamptons with his ex-wife. She hadn't heard from him for months after that, so she'd accepted the fact that he obviously didn't feel the same way she did, and told herself that she was over him.

Why she wasn't, was a complete mystery to her. He was rich, good looking and famous. But she didn't care about his money, Josh was better looking and Castle's celebrity status was actually a turn off as far as she was concerned, she had no desire to see her private life splashed on page six.

As far as boyfriends went, on paper, Josh blew him out of the water. Castle flirted with anyone female, had probably slept with more than his fair share of those women and had two failed marriages behind him. Josh only wanted to be with her, in fact he'd hinted about them moving in together.

Josh was calm and stable, the fact that they're not having a knock down, screaming match at the moment is testimony to that. She'd always thought that she wanted stability, the safe bet. Castle was like thunder and lightening, a rolling storm at sea, she can't seem to get her bearings around him.

None of those reasonable, logical arguments could sway her heart though, it wanted what it wanted. So she found herself in this cluster fuck of a situation, in a relationship with a great guy but with her foot half out the door because she was still obsessing over a man who'd disappointed her once before.

She had to try harder and that meant making it right with the man standing in front of her. "You're right Josh, I've not been fair to you," she omitted to tell him the reason why though. "You deserve to be a priority and I'm going to try harder."

He forgave her immediately, as she knew he would, he was a sucker for her and that only made her feel worse.

"Have you eaten yet? It's too late to go out but we could order some takeaways if you're hungry," he said as he hugged her.

"That sounds good, I'm famished," she tried to relax into his embrace, seeking the physical reassurance that their relationship was ok.

They sit at the table and talk about their day as they eat. Or rather he tells her about his day, an amusing story about the young, earnest med students who are currently assigned to his run. They're so eager to learn that they follow him everywhere like puppy dogs, to the point where he has to excuse himself just so he can go to the bathroom in private.

She doesn't tell him anything about her day beyond vague comments. After their 'not-quite-a-fight' earlier she doesn't want to darken the mood again. So she refrains from telling him about her frustrations with the lack of clues in her current case or how dirty she felt having to even talk to a scumbag like Sam Collins.

They are clearing their plates and the empty takeaway boxes when he pulls her in again for a kiss. "I thought I might stay tonight, I don't have to be in until nine tomorrow," he murmured against her hair.

Sex with her boyfriend should be a great way to relieve the stress of the day but in reality it's the last thing that she wants to do. But she knows that it would be the worst thing for her to admit to, so instead she tips her head back so that she can kiss him and then she leads him into her bedroom.

She's pulling her clothes off as she drags him over to the bed but he grabs her arms, stilling her for the moment.

"Where's the fire? There's no need to rush, I want to savor it, savor you tonight," he seems flattered, he probably thinks that she's in a rush to have him. The reality is that she just wants to get this over and done with. God, when did sex become a chore between them?

Beckett tried to get into the mood of it, there's a faint tingle of something as he takes his shirt off and drops his pants and boxers. But really it's more a clinical appreciation of his body than anything else. She could be looking at Michaelangelo's David for all the sexual thrill that she is feeling; a great work of art but still cold marble at the end of the day.

She knows that he can sense that something is off between them, she finds it hard to fake it in the bedroom. So she closes her eyes and thinks of someone else. She's not cheating on Josh. How can it be cheating, when physically she is here with him, even if her mind is somewhere else. In her fantasy it's blue eyes that stare at her naked body not brown. The hands that are playing with her breasts are more at home wielding a pen than a scalpel.

Finally she starts to feel the wet ache of anticipation between her legs. She rolls over so that she's on her hands and knees. It's easy to maintain the fantasy if she's not looking at him. When he slips inside of her she lets her body take over. There's no thinking as she rocks to an instinctive tempo, pushing back to meet his thrusts.

There are only sensations as she peaks, a delicious relief washing over her body. There is no thinking as she moans a name, the name of the man she's been fantasizing about and not the man who she's actually with.

"What the fuck?" Josh pulls out of her angrily. "Why the hell did you just say his name?" he spits out. "Is he the real reason you stood me up tonight? Don't keep blaming it on your job. Are you cheating on me?"

She doesn't say anything, because really what is there is to say? No, I'm not sleeping with Castle but I was fantasizing about him. She was sure that that wouldn't go down well.

He takes her silence as an admission of guilt. Now there is the screaming and yelling that was missing earlier. "Fuck you Kate," he says as he throws his clothes on.

She let him batter her with his words, she deserves every nasty name that he calls her. It's the least that she can do as penance for the way she's treated him.

"I don't ever want to see you or hear from you again," he grabbed his motorcycle helmet from the lounge before he stormed out her door.

Wonderful Kate, she mocked herself silently. That's the second decent relationship that you have managed to sabotage because you have a stupid crush on Richard Castle. Just get over it. Easy to say, but harder to do.

**A/N: I was watching Castle and thinking about how much I wished that Beckett would just break up with Josh and this little scene popped into my head and refused to be shifted. I might try to do a sequel to my other story but only after this one gets out of my system.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It felt like she'd only just managed to get to sleep when she was woken up by the insistent ringing of her cell phone. It was too dark for it to be time to get up yet and that fact was confirmed when she glanced at her alarm clock. It was only three pm, she'd gotten exactly three hours of restless sleep.

She picked up her phone expecting it to be the station but there was a strange number flashing on the caller ID. If it wasn't work, then who the hell would be calling her at this time of the night?

"Hello, Beckett here."

"Hi Kate, I'm sorry to call you at this time," it was a hesitant female voice on the other line. The woman sounded vaguely familiar, but in her immediate post-sleep confusion she couldn't quite put a name to the voice. "It's Sarah, Josh's sister."

Oh right, the image of a tall, attractive, brunette sprung to mind. She'd met Sarah a few times before, and had found her to be a nice person, they'd gotten along well and shared an interest in bikes.

"That's ok Sarah. What's up?"

"I'm at the hospital, Josh has been in a traffic accident. I think you should come here, the doctor said it was pretty serious."

Beckett lay there stunned for a moment, after the way that Josh had left last night would he even want to see her there? How on earth was she meant to respond to this? Whether he wanted her there or not, she did care about him and if it was serious then she wanted to offer her support. "Ok give me the details and I'll meet you there."

She just threw on the first pieces of clothing that came to hand, and she was out the door in five minutes. At this time of the morning it was easy to find parking nearby the hospital and she rushed into the hospital only to be stopped short by the security guard. A hospital at night was a pretty locked down place, each ward required an electronic swipe card to even get in. Fortunately with a quick explanation and a flash of her badge she was escorted up to the ICU.

Sarah spotted Beckett first as she came up to the ICU waiting room and rushed over to give her a hug. "Thanks for getting here so quickly. I phoned my parents and they're driving down from Boston. I've been going stir crazy waiting for any news."

"What have they told you so far?" Beckett asked.

"His CT scan showed he had a liver laceration, multiple rib fractures and a subdural haematoma. They took him straight to the OR after the scan and he's still in surgery now, it's been over an hour. I don't know if that amount of time means that it's good news or bad news."

Beckett squeezed her hand, trying to convey her support as the two women sat anxiously awaiting any news. She had spent a lot of time in hospital as a cop, from what she had observed, the waiting and not knowing was always the hardest part on friends and family. The hard, moulded plastic chairs seemed designed to be deliberately uncomfortable. She found that she had to get up several times to pace up and down the room, burning off nervous energy.

The sound of shoes echoing on the linoleum covered floor announced the arrival of a slight, petite Asian woman in surgical scrubs. Beckett recognized her, it was one of Josh's medical friends, Michelle.

"We've just finished in surgery and Josh has made it so far. I repaired his liver and he's stable from the point of view of his intra-abdominal injuries. It's the head injury that is the most concerning thing at the moment. The neurosurgeons have done a craniotomy to drain the blood that accumulated around his brain and to relieve the swelling. At this point, there's nothing more that we can do other than to wait and pray. The next twenty-four hours are going to be the most critical."

"Thanks for all you've done, I'm sure that you've given him the best shot of getting through this," Beckett said.

"We always do our best, but for one of our own we give it one hundred and ten percent," Michelle replied with a tired smile.

"Can we see him now?" Sarah asked.

"They'll be taking him into ICU shortly. I need to warn you that he's still unconscious and intubated. Keeping him in a coma helps relieve the brain swelling. He won't respond to you at all, but I like to think that even when they are unconscious people know when they are surrounded by loved ones."

He didn't look like Josh at all, was Beckett's first thought as she approached his bedside. His face was all swollen and also distorted by the ventilation tube coming out of his mouth, his hair was covered by swathes of crepe bandages. Something about being sick in hospital seemed to strip away the outer layers of a person, leaving just the basic humanity behind.

Sarah broke down and started to sob softly as she reached out to grab one of his hands. "Josh, you fight this you hear me. I can't cope without my baby brother. I need someone to boss around at the next family dinner."

It felt like such a private moment, watching someone else break down like that, Beckett didn't know what to do. She'd experienced it before in her professional role, she'd often been the one calling or knocking on a door at night to deliver the bad news. But it had been a while since she'd been personally involved in a tragedy. She did what she thought was best and stayed, rubbing her hand in reassuring circles over Sarah's back.

Sarah cried until the well ran dry, and both women finally settled into chairs by the bed to hold vigil. Ever person is different in how they react to bad news, some collapse in grief, others get angry and rail at the world. Personally Beckett was numb, she felt like there was a thick layer of cotton wool insulating her. Maybe once she had time to process everything the emotions would start but for now there was nothing.

Time passed but neither of them noticed it until the faint pinkish light of dawn started to filter through the curtains. It reminded them that the rest of the world was moving on, indifferent to their personal trials.

Beckett excused herself once it was seven a.m. She had to step out of the hospital in order to use her cell phone, she needed to phone work in order to let them know that she wasn't coming in for the day. "I'll be back soon," she promised Sarah. "Do you want a coffee? I can grab some on my way back."

"Yeah, that would be great, thanks."

Her first call was through to Montgomery, it was odd to tell him the story in that clear, detached, clinical way that she used to inform him of any of her cases. A simple run through of all the facts, no emotion leaking into it at all. He'd been very understanding, telling her to take all the time that she needed, her team could cover until she got back.

Her second call was to Castle.

"Good morning Beckett," he answered his phone, sounding particularly cheerful this for this time of day. "Have we caught another body or has there been a new development in the current case?"

"Neither actually. I was ringing to let you know that I won't be in to work today."

"What's wrong? Are you ok?" he sounded concerned. It would take a lot for Kate Beckett to unexpectedly miss a day of work.

"I'm fine, but Josh is in the New York Presbyterian hospital. He was knocked off his bike last night after leaving my place…."

That was when the dam burst, and pain came flooding in, she was no longer numb. Josh had been in an accident after leaving her place; after leaving her place in a highly agitated mood after their fight. Oh my god, she thought, it's my fault that he got hurt. Logically she knew that she hadn't been in control of either the bike or the car that had collided with it, but try telling that to the guilt that was overwhelming her.

"Kate, are you still there?" he said when there had been silence for a few minutes.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Can I do anything to help at all? I can meet you at the hospital in twenty minutes," he offered.

"No!" she all but shouted, that was the last thing that she needed. She already felt guilty enough, having Castle turn up would just remind her about exactly why Josh had left. "No," she said again but more softly. "There's nothing to do here but wait. I'm going to hang around here until the doctors can give us a clearer idea of his chances."

"Ok, but if there's anything at all that you need, you just have to call."

* * *

To say but Josh wasn't his favorite person in the world would be an understatement. But he would never wish him harm and he would certainly never want anything to happen which would cause Kate to feel bad. She had sounded so distraught when she had spoken to him on the phone, he wished that there was something that he could do.

He managed to restrain himself for four whole hours, trying to spend his time productively by working on his next Nikki Heat novel, but so far, all that he'd accomplished was one whole paragraph. The words just didn't want to flow and he knew it was because he was distracted by Kate and what she was going through.

Maybe he should just go and see her anyway, he could grab some lunch on the way. She wasn't very good remembering to eat at the best of times, often skipping lunch at work. This could be something practical that he could do to help her. She might have told him not to come but he wasn't very good at obeying orders, and he knew that she wasn't very good at asking for help.

He got to the hospital by twelve but then he hit an obstacle. Only partners and immediate family members of patients were allowed to visit in the ICU and despite his best charm offensive the nurse wouldn't let him past the reception area.

"Can you at least find Kate Beckett for me? She'll be sitting with Josh Davidson. Just let her know that Richard Castle is waiting for her out the front and I've brought her some lunch," he cajoled the stern looking nurse.

"I'm sorry sir, we're very busy. I don't have time to go tracking down visitors for you. You'll just have to wait over there," she indicated the chairs in the waiting area.

* * *

It was past two o'clock before Castle spotted her coming out of the ICU. For a beautiful woman, she looked like crap. Her hair was pulled back into a messy pony tail, her complexion was wan and dark circles ringed her eyes.

"Kate!" he called out to get her attention. She'd almost walked right past him without any recognition at all. She startled briefly at the sound of her name and then focused on him.

"Castle? What are you doing here? I thought I told you not to come."

"I know but I just came to bring you lunch," he held up the brown takeaway bag like a peace offering. "Except the nurse wouldn't let me into ICU to find you, so I've been waiting here."

"Thank you," she relented as she took the food from him. "I haven't managed a bite to eat since last night." She slumped down into the chair next to him.

"How's he doing?"

"He's still in a drug-induced coma for now, they're worried about his head injury. But we won't really know how bad it is until they start weaning him off the medication tomorrow."

"I'm sorry," there really wasn't much more that he could say.

She sat there eating the sandwich he'd brought her, while he watched her with worried eyes. He was so focused on her that he hadn't really noticed the older couple who joined them five minutes later, it was only when Beckett leapt to her feet and away from him that he even registered their presence.

"Tom, Margaret," she greeted the couple. He was surprised when she didn't introduce him at all, but then it was a stressful situation so bad manners were probably the last thing on her mind.

"Josh is in bed space eleven through those doors. Sarah's with him at the moment, I just stepped out to get some air and a bite. You guys go through, I'll join you in a minute."

Beckett waited until they were alone again before she said anything. "That was Josh's parents. I'd better go back in now, see if there's any news yet."

"Ok, I'll be waiting out here if you need anything." He was surprised that she looked almost uncomfortable at his offer.

"Look you don't have to do that."

"I know, but I want to."

Finally she shrugged, unable to budge him from his decision, and then turned to disappear through the doors back into the ICU.

**A/N: Sorry this is a bit of a filler chapter, had to set the scene first before we can get to the interesting interaction stuff.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

He was still there in the same spot that she had left him in five hours earlier. He was playing with something on his phone and there was an intense look of concentration on his face, but even so, he somehow managed to sense her approach before she'd said a word.

"Has something happened?" he asked her.

"No, there's been no change at all. Visiting hours are over now but they're stretching the rules to let Josh's family stay overnight with him because he's staff. But it's pretty crowded with four people in that room so I volunteered to go. They'll call me if something happens overnight." She didn't add that she felt like a fraud every second that she stayed by Josh's bedside.

It wasn't because she didn't care, she did. But his family was being so nice to her, trying to comfort her even as they tried to deal with their own despair. They didn't know that she was to blame for his being in that accident in the first place. And the care and affection that they were extending to her just made her feel even worse, she didn't deserve it.

"That's probably a good idea, you look like you could use a meal and a bit of a break Kate." She was so tired she didn't even notice his use of her first name, although it was something that he rarely did. He could have added that she looked like she was dead on her feet, it was completely true, but he knew her well enough to only push so far. Getting her to accept help was a fine balancing act, something he'd only partially mastered over the years that he'd known her. "Do you want me to call you a cab?" he asked.

"No it's fine. I drove here yesterday. I mean this morning." She was completely disorientated to time, it felt like everything had happened a lifetime ago.

"You can't drive yourself home. You're so tired that you'd be a menace on the road. Let me drive your car for you and then I can get a cab from your place."

It was a sign of how mentally fatigued she was that she didn't even put up a fight about him driving her car. Normally if she was a car with him, even if it was his Ferrari, then she was the one who was driving, it was a control thing.

They didn't speak at all on the drive back to her apartment. Beckett didn't know what he was thinking but for her part she was just starting to relax again after the tension of the last few hours. She hadn't been fully aware of the miasma of the hospital until she was finally away from that environment. It was a combination of guilt, sadness and despair that had been weighing her down. She still felt all of those things to some extent but away from that hospital bed, she could at least breathe again.

"Why don't you go and take a shower? It'll make you feel human again. And I'll find you something to eat," he offered as he walked her up to her door.

"Thank you Castle but you don't have to look after me," she unlocked her front door and turned so she blocked the doorway.

"I don't mind. I haven't eaten either, so it's not more of a hassle cooking for two people than it is for just one," he pushed past her to rummage around in the pantry.

She shook her head, he'd never been very good at respecting her boundaries, especially when he thought it was in her best interests. "I don't have a lot of food in the house," she warned him.

"You don't say," he said as he took in the contents of her fridge, there were a couple of half empty Chinese containers, a very sorry looking lettuce and a couple of eggs. "Ok, so I'll order some takeaways instead then, you just go and shower. The food should be here by the time you're done."

She didn't bother arguing with him again because it actually sounded good, so she left him sorting through her collection of takeaway flyers as she went to take his advice.

She turned on the water to full pressure and as hot as she could stand it. There was something about being pounded by a steady stream of hot water that could make any situation seem better. She stood enjoying the feel of the rivulets of water washing over her until the bathroom was full of steam and her skin started to turn into a prune.

When she finally got out, she got dressed in a robe and a pair of old flannelette pyjamas, the cotton so worn that the material had faded from its once bright blue color. It wasn't because she was cold, but rather because she wanted the comfort of the familiar to make her feel better.

She could smell the rich aroma of chicken soup and warm bread as soon as she stepped into the kitchen, it made her aware of the hunger that she hadn't noticed up until now.

"Ok, I have to go now Pumpkin. I'll see you at home later," Castle said as he ended his call. He pulled a loaf from the oven and poured the soup into two bowls. "I was just checking up with Alexis, she said to tell you that she'll be praying for him," he explained.

She was touched by that, Alexis was such a caring, mature teenager. Even his harshest critics couldn't fault him when it came to parenting, he'd certainly raised a remarkable daughter.

"Come on, sit down and eat while it's still hot. There's also some macaroni and cheese for later if you feel like something more substantial."

"No, this is just right," she seated herself opposite him at the table and dug into the food with surprising appetite. He watched her closely, she looked better, there was some color back in her cheeks. Happy with the improvement in her appearance, he was content to attack his own food.

When the bowl was empty and there were only crumbs left on her plate she leaned back in the chair with a sigh. Despite the shower, the comfort food and the fact that she was tired, she knew that she wouldn't be able to go to sleep anytime soon. She was still a little too strung out for that, so she got up and pulled a bottle from her kitchen cabinet.

"Would you like some?" she asked him, indicating the bottle of single malt whiskey that she held in her hand.

"Yeah that would be nice."

Beckett grabbed two glasses, poured a generous measure of whiskey into each, and placed one of them in front of him. She savored the fiery burn of the aged liquor as it slid down her throat and looked down at the swirling wood pattern of the table as if it held the answers to all her problems.

"You know it's my fault Josh had that accident," she didn't meet his eyes as she confessed her terrible secret to him. Why she was telling him anything at all was a mystery to her. But then he'd always had a knack of pulling things from her, things that she'd never willing shared with anyone before. Maybe it was because confession was meant to be good for the soul she thought.

"You can't blame yourself for that, it was just bad luck."

She pushed on as if he hadn't said anything at all. "Josh and I broke up last night. We had this huge fight, he was really angry and then he stormed out. That's why he was on his bike at that time of night, and that's why he had that accident. It was my fault and I sat by his bed today and I couldn't tell his family any of that." She could feel the tears making tracks down her face, but she let them fall unheeded as she took another sip of whiskey.

She was waiting for him to condemn her for being a fraud but he didn't say anything. He knew that no amount of logic could make her feel any better now, it would take time for her to realize that she was punishing herself needlessly. Instead he walked around the table so he could pull her to her feet and hugged her so hard that she could feel her ribs creaking.

She let her control go, crying so hard that she couldn't catch her breath. The tears soaked into his shirt as she hid her face in his chest, ashamed that she was couldn't stop herself. He made soothing sounds as he caressed her hair, letting her get it all out, until finally she'd cried herself to a standstill. "It's not your fault Kate, it's not your fault," he repeated endlessly.

She felt wiped out after that emotional storm. She would give anything to just forget this whole god-awful situation for even twenty minutes. She stood taking what comfort she could from the warmth of him surrounding her and the fresh, clean scent of his aftershave.

Tentatively she pulled away from him slightly. Without the high heels that she normally wore he was quite a bit taller than her, so she had to tip her head back so that she could kiss along his jaw, trying to follow that elusive smell back to where it was strongest.

"I don't think that this is a good idea," he tried to dissuade her, he was well aware of the potential for regret in the morning.

She placed a finger over his mouth to silence him. "Shh. Just help me to forget for tonight. Please." She took her finger away so that she could replace it with her mouth.

He had already lost the battle before she had even kissed him. His good intentions were no match for her desires. In all honesty, it was her simple whispered 'please' that had made the decision for him. He could taste the lingering flavor of whiskey on her breath as her tongue pushed past his lips.

They simply kissed for several minutes but passion soon overtook comfort and he could feel himself stiffening. He wasn't quite sure how far she wanted to take this but that question was quickly answered when she took his hand to lead him into her bedroom.

Beckett pulled back from him so that she could strip off her clothes. It wasn't exactly black lacy lingerie but he had no complaints, the toned, creamy flesh that she was baring was better than his fantasies of her. "You are so beautiful," he told her when she was finally naked.

"No talking," she shook her head as her fingers were quickly undoing buttons and zippers as she divested him of his clothes. He kicked his shoes off and pulled his socks down, letting the rest of his clothes fall where they would on the floor, racing so that they could be skin to skin.

She made a low hum of approval as she got her first look at him as naked as the day he was born, she liked everything that she could see. He didn't have the overblown muscles of a bodybuilder but there was certainly tone there. The lines of his six pack lead the eye naturally downward to where the tip of his stiff cock bobbed slightly with his respirations.

That was enough of an invitation for her fingers to reach out to grasp his length, her hand moving up and down several times to milk him. He was big; her thumb and index finger only just managed to span the circumference of his cock. Size wasn't everything but she certainly could feel a wet ache between her legs as she anticipated the moment when he would first thrust inside her.

Castle's fingers weren't idle either, as she played with him he was cupping her breasts. She wasn't large but warm mounds of flesh filled his palms nicely as his thumbs flicked over her nipples, causing them to stiffen into little peaks.

He was the one to break first, she was too good, her hands were destroying his control and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to last very long at this rate. "Condom?" he asked, breaking her no speaking rule.

She had to let go of him in order to grab a foil packet from her dressing table but she was quickly back, one hand holding his cock still as she rolled the latex down his length with the other hand. When he was finally covered to her satisfaction, she lay down on the bed and pulled him down as well so his weight covered her.

He pushed one of his thighs between hers, spreading her legs to make space for his hand to follow. His fingers slipped between her wet folds to find the hard nub of her clit, teasing her until she was almost at the point of orgasm before he took has hand away. His hips wedged between her thighs spreading them even further apart as he took himself in hand to guide the tip of his cock to her entrance.

She only had time to register the feeling of being stretched as her body moved to accommodate his unfamiliar size, and then he was thrusting rapidly. Her hips arched up to meet him as she climaxed, his name was a stuttering breath on her lips. Her orgasm makes her body clench around his cock and that triggers his own peak. His seed spurts out in irregular bursts until he finally stills.

"Kate…" he's really not sure what he wants to say, there's so much, it's hard to know where to start.

"Shh," she silences him again. Having sex with him had accomplished exactly what she wanted, a brief, happy period of forgetfulness. She doesn't want him to bring up all the things she's trying so hard to ignore. "Let it be."

So he complies with her wishes, shifting so that he's lying on his side spooning her and letting the silence lull them both into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

There was an empty spot beside him where there should have been a warm body. Castle rolled over so he could bury his head in the pillows. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He'd known that it had been wrong to sleep with Kate last night when she was so vulnerable, even if she had been the one to initiate things, the fact that he'd woken up alone meant that she'd already started running.

This was one for the record books, he'd had one night stands before but never one where the woman snuck out of her own place to avoid seeing him in the morning. Although the sex had been great, amazing in fact, he would give anything to erase the evening. He was very scared that instead of it being a start of something, last night would sign the death warrant on any potential relationship between him and Kate.

Hiding his face wasn't helping at all, he could smell her scent on the pillows, cherries. It was time to face the reality again, how he was going to fix this he didn't know but it wasn't going to fix itself while he just lay there.

He found his clothes in a neat pile on a chair by the bedroom door, he certainly didn't remember putting them there last night. It was so like Kate, needing order and control in everything, she'd probably picked them up and folded them this morning just before she hightailed it out of there.

"Beckett?" he called out, on the off chance that he was wrong and she was just in the shower or making breakfast. Only silence answered him. Crap he thought, so much for wishful thinking. Once he was dressed he wandered out into the living room, hoping that she might have at least left him a note but there was nothing.

He did find his phone though, it must have slipped out of his jacket at some stage last night and was on the sofa cushions. No missed calls or messages from her. He called her cell but it went straight to voice mail, after the fifth time that it did that he gave up. His messages had become increasingly desperate to the point where he was practically begging her to call him on the last one. It was time to stop before she thought he was stalking her.

What should he do? Sit here and wait for her to come back, wait for her to call him or try to track her down? Only the first one was likely to succeed, she'd have to come back to her apartment at some stage, but he could be waiting all day for that. Ditto for waiting on her call, who knew when she'd get back to him? And unfortunately he wasn't Dick Tracy, he wasn't up to tracking her down. She could be at the hospital, at work, or gone upstate to see her Dad, hell she could have skipped the country or be hiding in her closet for all he knew.

In the end he decided to give her some space and wait for her to call him. If that didn't work then he could always resort to option two and stake out her apartment.

* * *

Beckett sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair and stared at nothing in particular. The steady beeping of the pulse oximeter counted out the beats of Josh's heart. There'd been no change yet which wasn't a promising sign. Despite the fact that the doctors had started to taper off his sedative medication Josh wasn't waking up. The medical staff had made comforting statements about how it was still early days so far but she could read the worried glances that they had exchanged amongst themselves.

At the moment she was alone, if you didn't count the unconscious man in the bed, and she was thankful for that because it gave her a chance to think. Josh's family had gone home to catch some sleep, there was no point in them all being here sitting vigil. His parents were planning on coming back in the afternoon so she'd volunteered to stay until then.

This limbo of waiting was wearing her down and it had only been a day and a half since the accident happened. She wasn't sure how she'd cope if it dragged on for much longer. The only respite that she'd had from the all the emotions that she'd been laboring under had been last night, when she'd been in bed with Castle.

She'd skipped out on him this morning, and she'd felt like a coward doing it but she wasn't up to having a conversation about what last night meant to them. She could only deal with one relationship crisis at a time.

How she felt about it was a complete mystery, even to her. At the time, she'd been sure that it was what she wanted, mind-numbing great sex. The regrets hadn't settled in until the next morning, Josh was in hospital because of her and she was having sex with Castle.

The sound of a nurse coming in to change the intravenous solution bag disturbed her thoughts. Michelle, according to her name badge, fiddled with various mysterious bits of tubing before recording Josh's vital signs in his chart. She called out his name, no response. And then she did something curious, she pinched his finger, right over the nail area. To Beckett's surprise he seemed to react to that. She thought that she saw his elbows move, but maybe she was just imagining it.

"Hey did you see that?" she asked the nurse. "That's a good sign right? The fact that he's moving means that he must be waking up, right?"

Michelle pinched his finger again, but this time there was no movement.

"What does that mean?" Beckett asked again.

Michelle wouldn't give her a straight answer, she just mumbled something about checking with one of the doctors before she left the room.

Damn it, why wouldn't someone just give her an answer.

Beckett had never been so grateful to see anyone before as when her friend Lanie breezed into the room not long after. Lanie gave her a firm hug as she greeted her.

"How are you holding out Kate?"

"I'm ok, but they won't tell me how Josh is doing. I think that they've stopped his sedation completely now, and he should be awake but he's not. His nurse just did something to him before and he seemed to respond to that but when I asked her about it she wouldn't tell me what it meant."

She outlined exactly what the nurse had done and what she thought that she'd seen. From the expression on Lanie's face she could tell that it wasn't good news.

"Are you sure that you saw him straighten his arms?" Lanie questioned her.

"No, it was so quick and only a very slight movement, I couldn't be sure, and the second time he didn't respond at all. Tell me Lanie, what does it mean?"

"If he was trying to pull his hand away from the source of the pain then that means that it's a good sign. But if it was just his elbows straightening then it's what we call an extensor response. It means that the head injury is severe enough that only his primitive brain functions are still working."

As bad as the news was she was grateful that Lanie wasn't trying to sugar coat it for her.

"Let's repeat it again and see what he does this time," Beckett suggested.

"No, you need to leave that to the nurses and doctors. Besides, it's not the one off responses that are important, it's the overall trend. Come on, lets go and grab a coffee, there must be a hospital cafeteria around here somewhere and you look like you could do with a caffeine shot," Lanie dragged her away from the room and she went without much of a fight.

* * *

"God this coffee is awful, it tastes as bad as the hospital coffee I used to drink as an intern," Lanie made a shuddering face. "So tell me the truth, how are you really feeling?"

Beckett couldn't bring herself to tell her friend the whole story, it made her seem so callous. "It's been hard. The waiting and uncertainty is the worst part. I feel like I need to be here all the time, just in case something happens."

"I can understand why you feel like that but you need to take care of yourself as well. There is no point running yourself into the ground. Make sure that you remember to eat, and get some rest when you can. I know that you care about him but Josh wouldn't want you to get sick because you're worrying over him."

"Yeah Lanie, you're right." Great now she was lying to her friends as well as Josh's family, the only one who knew the real truth was Castle.

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Yes," she didn't mention that she had company as well. Beckett took a sip of her own coffee, Lanie was right it was pretty awful. But then she'd been spoilt over the last couple of years with Castle always bringing her coffee. Stop it, she admonished herself, he had no right to be in her thoughts at the moment, she should be concentrating on Josh.

"Good. And while we are here anyway, you should probably grab some lunch. I can keep you company for a bit, I don't have to head back …" The shrill ring of her phone interrupted what Lanie was about to say. "Hey Castle. Yes in fact she's sitting right in front of me now. We're in the cafeteria at the hospital. Ok see you soon then."

Beckett could only hear Lanie's side of the conversation, but from her comments she knew exactly who had called and she had a very good idea of what he'd said.

"That was Castle," Lanie confirmed as soon as she hung up the phone. "He phoned me to find out where you were because your phone has been off. He said that he's going to grab some real food on his way here to save us from hospital food. Should be about fifteen minutes only."

There was no way that she could get him not to come here, at least not without Lanie getting suspicious that something was going on. "I've had my phone off because it's not allowed in the ICU," she explained, the other reason was because she was trying to avoid him. "Actually I should turn it back on now, at least until I go back up there. Just in case the doctors try to get hold me."

She turned her phone on and saw that she had five new voice messages. The time stamp said that they were all from this morning when she was already at the hospital so she was pretty sure that they were all from Castle. She didn't bother to listening to them now, it wasn't a good time, especially with Lanie here.

When he got there he was carrying enough food to feed ten people not just three. "Hey guys, I got a little bit of everything, because I wasn't sure what you wanted," he said as he deposited his packages onto the table.

"Thanks Castle," Beckett avoided making eye contact with him. If she couldn't duck him completely then her alternate plan was to keep Lanie by her side until she could escape back to the ICU. She was sure that he'd wait until they were alone before he brought up anything awkward.

"Beckett can I talk to you privately for a moment please?"

Damn did the man have no tact at all, she thought?

Lanie was alternating her gaze between the two of them, trying to figure exactly what was up with her friends. Castle looked anxious and Kate looked embarrassed, something juicy was happening, but it was obvious that neither of them was going to say anything more while she was still here. Never mind Lanie thought, she'd leave them to it now and get the details out of Kate later.

She grabbed a box of sushi from the table and stood to make her goodbyes, which was difficult to do with Kate hanging onto her arm like a reluctant four year old on their first day at pre-school. "I'd better head back to work now. I'll call you this evening Kate, and you'd better have your phone on then," Lanie made her excuses and gave Kate a not so subtle shake in order to free her arm again.

Lanie was barely out of earshot before he started talking.

"How are you doing?"

She was surprised that he hadn't jumped right into what was obviously burning him up.

"I'm hanging in there."

"Has there been any change in his condition?"

"Not really, or at least nothing that they will confirm with me."

He stared hard at her for a moment, trying to guage her state. "Kate," he began hesitantly. "I don't want to burden you even more. I know that this whole situation has been stressful for you but I think that we really need to talk about last night."

**A/N: see what I mean by miscommunication. She's always running and he's always chasing after her. Why doesn't she just tell him already? But then I wouldn't have a story to tell.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

There was an absolutely horrified look on Beckett's face and he didn't think it was all due to what he'd just said. He followed her gaze over his shoulder to where a tall brunette was standing.

"Sarah, I was just grabbing some lunch, has something happened with Josh?" Beckett addressed the other woman.

"I don't know, I was just about to grab some food myself before I headed up there," Sarah looked at Castle curiously, clearly waiting to be introduced.

There was no way out of it, so Beckett reluctantly made the introductions. "Sarah, this is Richard Castle. Castle, this is Sarah, Josh's sister."

"I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's accident," he said sincerely.

"Thanks. It's been a tough time for all of us, I've been falling apart but Kate's been terrific. Josh is so lucky to have her."

Beckett winced at Sarah's effusive praise, every compliment seemed like a slap in the face.

"I think that we should head back upstairs Sarah. Thanks for the food Castle."

"No worries. Maybe you should take the rest of it up there with you, if you can't finish it yourselves, then you could always give it to the nurses. It always pays to get onside with the nursing staff," he packed the remaining food back into the original plastic bag. Sarah had already turned to leave as he grabbed Beckett's arm. "Now doesn't seem to be a good time but we still need to talk," he whispered so only she could hear.

"I'll phone you about it later," that didn't seem to satisfy him though. "Fine, I'll let you know when I'm leaving the hospital and we can talk then."

* * *

There's no such thing as casual sex, not when you sleep with a friend. There will always be consequences and Beckett was steeling herself to pay the piper. She'd managed to delay this talk all day but now both of them were sitting in her apartment having the morning after talk.

"Ok, I'll start first then shall I?" he said. Other than greeting him at the door, she hadn't said another word and he was uncomfortable with the continued silence. They joked, they bantered, and they flirted. Talking had never been a problem for them before. He tried to pick his words carefully, even though he'd pushed her into this conversation, he was aware that it was a potential minefield. "I thought last night was amazing, but the fact that I woke up alone suggests to me that you might be feeling some regret."

She didn't say anything, she just continued to stare down at her hands.

"Please just tell me how you're feeling," he begged.

This wasn't a conversation that she wanted to have, and her discomfort made her lash out. "How am I supposed to feel? I feel lousy for having meaningless sex with you to forget the fact that Josh is in hospital in a critical condition because of me. I feel like the lowest form of scum because everyone else is being so nice to me when I don't deserve it. That's how I feel, are you happy now?"

He took a step back as if she had physically pushed him. She immediately felt bad for lashing out at him. It seemed like she couldn't do anything without hurting someone these last few days. Beckett took a deep breath and apologized. "Sorry Castle, I'm being a bitch. It's nothing personal, I just feel lousy and you happen to be a convenient target to vent my anger at."

"Apology accepted. But I think that there was at least a germ of truth in the stuff that you were saying. It's pretty clear that you think that last night was a mistake. So the question now is what are we going to do about it?"

Oh God, she thought. Why did he have to be such a girl about this? Analyzing every little detail and wanting to discuss it to death. How did she feel about it? What did she want to do? Why couldn't he be like most guys; happy to have a one night stand, and then never call her again.

"I don't really want to talk about it anymore. Can we pretend that it never happened? I'd like things to go back to the way they were before this whole mess started. Please?"

He looked at her and nodded solemnly. "Ok, if that's what you really want, then that's what we'll do."

"Thank you Castle."

"I think I'd better head home now," he made some flimsy excuse. "Alexis is making my favorite dinner tonight, so I don't want to keep her waiting."

"Ok, good night then."

He waited until he was on the stairs a floor down and well out of her hearing range before he slapped the wall hard with his hand, and let four-letter expletives explode from his mouth. If she'd deliberately set out to hurt him then she couldn't have done a better job. She'd called it meaningless sex, as if they were complete strangers. Sure it hadn't been the ideal situation for them to get together but he'd thought that she'd felt something that night that they had shared.

In the fantasies and daydreams that he'd had about her, there had always been a happy ever after. He'd always thought that once they finally got together then she would see how awesome their relationship could be. He'd never questioned that once he got his chance that she would realize that they were meant to be together; they were Beckett and Castle, Kate and Rick after all.

He'd been chasing after her for ages; through two of her relationships and one of his own. Last night he'd finally gotten his chance and he'd taken it. It was painful to admit that he'd failed spectacularly but then it was always painful when a dream died.

* * *

The knock on the door an hour later was her second visitor of the night. Beckett peeked through her spyhole to see Lanie on the other side, she really didn't feel like going through the interrogation that she knew was imminent.

"Open up Kate, I've got a bottle of wine and you wouldn't let a girlfriend drink alone would you?"

Lanie had that militant look in her eye and Beckett knew that she really only had two options. Either let her in or open a window and try to sneak out of her own apartment, even then Lanie would probably eventually track her down, so she bowed to the inevitable and opened the door.

Lanie wasted no time with small talk. "Tell me what is going on with you and I don't mean just the obvious situation with Josh in hospital. I can tell that there's something else that's bothering you."

"Fine, at least let me have a glass of wine before I bare my soul," Kate said as she grabbed the bottle. After they were both seated, a glass in hand, she started. "I've made a mistake. I broke up with Josh, the night that he had his accident."

Lanie shook her head, although she didn't want to think badly of a man in a coma, she had never quite warmed up to Kate's boyfriend. Breaking up with Josh wasn't a mistake in her mind, but then again she might be biased. Lanie had always held out hope that her two mutual friends would finally admit to each other what the rest of the world could already see.

"Josh was angry and upset when he left here and I think that's why he had that accident. It was my fault that he's hurt," Kate continued.

Instead of the comforting words that she expected, Lanie was sharp and direct. "Girl you know that I love you but you need to shake this hero complex that you have going on. You feel like you need to right all the wrongs and save everyone. That's why you're a good cop. It's also why you needlessly take on burdens that aren't really yours to bear. Josh is an adult, if he was that upset about the situation then he could have chosen not to ride his bike that night. Also you don't know that the accident wasn't caused by the driver of the car, maybe he was talking on the phone at the time and was distracted. There are a million and one factors that you don't control that could have contributed to the accident. You can't save everyone and it's not always your fault."

The blunt words were like a slap to the face, brutal but effective. Where she'd shrugged off Castle's comforting words, Lanie's unvarnished dissection of the situation didn't allow her to mope in self-recrimination.

"You're right Lanie, I know that you're right but it's still hard not to feel some guilt. Not just about the accident but also I feel guilty because I feel like a fraud turning up to the hospital with his family there. They wouldn't want me there if they knew that we'd broken up."

"Honey, you are not a fraud. Just because you have an argument and break up doesn't mean that you stop caring about someone. You care about Josh, that's why you're at the hospital and that's all his family need to know."

Beckett could feel herself start to tear up. It was funny how Lanie could see right to the heart of things, sometimes uncomfortably so. The crying started as soft sobs but gained force until her whole body was shaking. She wasn't normally someone who got all emotional in public but over the last few days she'd broken down with both Castle and now Lanie. The crying was exhausting but also cathartic, it was a relief to let the tears flow. Lanie put down her wine glass and took Kate's glass out of her hands before she gave her a fierce hug.

"Do you feel better now?" she asked. Beckett could only manage a nod of her head. "Good, now do you want to tell me what's going on with you and writer boy as well?"

Beckett gave a little hiccuping laugh, it was so typical of Lanie, she had obviously detected the friction between her and Castle today at the café.

"I used him for sex."

Lanie almost spat out the mouthful of wine that she'd just taken a sip of. "You did what?"

"He came over last night, I was upset and somehow we ended up in bed together."

"And so what's going to happen now?"

"Nothing. We had sex, and that was it. I told him that I wanted to just pretend that it never happened. We'll go back to how things were before."

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Of course it is. Neither he nor I could cope with anything else, and frankly he went agreed with it readily enough."

Lanie sighed, it never failed to surprise her how her friend could be so perceptive when it came to analyzing other people's motives when it came to murder but still be completely self-delusional when it involved a certain mystery writer.

"Kate, I think that he probably just said that because it's what you told him you wanted. But I don't really think that it's what he wants. If you want something more out of this then you should tell him. It's ok to admit that you have stronger feelings for him."

"I care about him as a friend and nothing more and this is really what I want."

"Fine, but even if that's how you really feel, do you think it's going to be easy for the two of you to go back to the way that you were before?"

"I don't know. I'm going to do my best to forget it ever happened, and hopefully he can do the same."

"Ok, but you know what they say, 'be careful about what you wish for'. I just hope that you don't regret letting this chance go by."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Martha had waited until eleven that morning before she tried to sneak back into the loft, by then she'd thought that Alexis would be at school and Richard would be off, shadowing his muse. So it was with some surprise that she found her son sitting in his office still dressed in his pyjamas and a dressing gown.

"Darling what are you doing at home? And still not dressed for the day I might add?"

"I felt like staying at home today, it is MY home after all Mother. And I could ask you the same thing about your clothes." He'd already observed that she was still dressed in last night's clothing.

"Ok, you've caught me doing the walk of shame. At my age though you have to party, before you find that you can't party at all. That's my excuse, what's yours?"

"I didn't need to leave the house today, so I thought that I'd just stay in my PJs."

"What no murders to solve? What is Beckett up to?"

"Actually she's probably at the hospital at the moment."

"Oh my god Richard, she's not been hurt has she?"

"No, she's fine," he reassured her. "Do you remember me telling you about that doctor that she was going out with? Well he was in an accident a couple of nights ago and he's in the ICU."

"That poor girl, she must be absolutely devastated. Is there anything that we can do?"

It was funny, he thought, his good intentions for comforting her was exactly what had lead to this situation. "I took her some food yesterday, but really there's not a lot more that we could do. I gather that from what the doctors are saying it's a waiting game."

"Well make sure that the next time you speak to her you pass on my sympathy, and tell her that I'm thinking of her."

"I'll remember to do that Mother."

"I'm off to bed now darling. Have to get in some beauty sleep before my dinner date tonight."

He pondered his last statement, he had no idea when he would be speaking to Beckett next. She probably wouldn't call him at all while she was still trying to deal with Josh being in hospital. And he wasn't sure what he was going to do once she was back at work. Could he really ignore what had happened between them the next time she called him about a murder?

He contemplated not shadowing her anymore, he really didn't need anymore material for his Nikki Heat novels after all. However it would feel like a big part of his life would be missing, not only Beckett but also the other friends that he had made at the precinct. But going cold turkey might be the best way to get over her because he knew that seeing Kate again was going to be painful. He didn't want to lose a friend but he wasn't sure that he could cope with seeing her on a regular basis when he knew that there was no hope of anything more between them. It might be best if he stayed away, at least until he didn't feel so heart sick.

It was a lose-lose situation and he really had no answers at all.

* * *

It was a surreal feeling, as if she was outside of her own body, a passive observer watching the tragedy unfolding. That was how she felt as she listened to the grim news from the intensive care specialist. After a week of false hope and anxious waiting, this was the end result.

"I'm sorry but Josh isn't improving at all. The neurological tests that we've been performing show that all his higher brain functions are non-existent. Essentially everything that made him the person that he was is no longer there. At this point the only thing that is keeping his body alive is the fact that the ventilator is breathing for him, because his brain isn't functioning anymore."

"But he moved his arm before when you rubbed on his chest, I saw it," protested Mr Davidson.

"Those are only primitive reflexes, the muscles still work even though the brain isn't. I'm sorry but we've run all the tests twice and Josh is brain dead."

"Is there any chance at all that you're wrong, that he could wake up at some stage?" asked Mr Davidson.

"No, we are certain about the diagnosis. There is no chance of recovery," the intensivist was firm and clear about that. He'd found that it was worse to give families false hope, people needed certainty in order to be able to move on.

Mrs Davidson collapsed into her husband's arms, crying loudly. Sarah reached around her mother to grab her father, sandwiching the older woman in a tight hug, the Davidsons all united in their grief. Beckett stood apart from them, the distance was a great metaphor for the whole situation she thought.

After a few minutes the intensivist spoke up again. "It's a terrible thing, and I share your sorrow, Josh was a good man and a great collegue. What we have to decide is what to do now. I don't think that keeping his body artificially alive while his brain is already dead is in anyone's best interest. I think that we need to let him go. But some good might still come out of all of this. I'm sorry to ask this now but there is a time constraint. Do you know what Josh's wishes were concerning organ donation?"

None of the Davidsons knew what to say. In theory it was a good idea but when it involves a loved one then the decision is much harder. Beckett kept quiet initially, she didn't feel it was her place to say anything if the family had a firm opinion about what they wanted to do but when the silence stretched out for a bit she finally spoke up.

"Josh and I had talked about it before. We had both said that we'd want to donate our organs if we were ever in this situation, at least someone else would be benefit. I think that he might have even put it in his living will."

"That sounds just like Josh," said Mrs Davidson. "He was always trying to help others. I think that we should honor his wishes." The other family members quickly agreed.

"How long can we sit with Josh before you have to take his body away to theatre?" asked Sarah.

"Transplant success rates decrease the longer we wait but you have at least an hour to say your goodbyes to him." The doctor left the room to give them privacy.

Beckett took Josh's hand and gave it a squeeze as she leant down to kiss his temple. 'I'm sorry that I couldn't be what you deserved, but hopefully you're in a better place now,' she told him silently. 'Be at peace.'

* * *

Beckett sat on the park bench enjoying the crisp spring air. She'd left the Davidsons at the hospital, they had understood her need to just get outside. Sarah had said that she would be in contact as soon as the funeral arrangements had been made, hopefully in the next couple of days.

Her finger hovered over the speed dial on her phone. What she wanted to do was to call Castle. He had a way of making her feel better despite herself and he'd been there for her, at all the major events in her life over the last few years. But after what had happened between them, she hesitated. She dithered for a while, almost hitting the call button at least 5 times but in the end she called Lanie instead.

"He's dead," she didn't bother with any greetings or context, she knew that Lanie would immediately understand the situation.

"I'm so sorry Kate. Tell me where you are, I'll meet you there."

"I'm in Central Park, on that bench closest to the duck pond."

It didn't take long before Lanie was walking up to her carrying two steaming cups. Beckett gratefully took the cup that she was offered and brought it up to her face to inhale the rich aroma of coffee. "Thanks Lanie," and she meant it for more than just the coffee.

"You're welcome. Do you want to talk? Or we can just sit here and enjoy the view. Perlmutter is going to cover for me at work this afternoon so we can do whatever you want."

They sat just people watching for a few minutes before Beckett said anything. "Lanie, do you think I'm a bad person?"

"Of course not, you're one of the best people that I know, and I'm not saying that lightly. Are you still blaming yourself for his accident?"

"No, it's not that. Today when the doctor was telling us that Josh was brain dead, do you know what I was feeling?" she asked rhetorically. "I was feeling relief. I was thinking 'Thank God this is over.' I mean there was sadness and grief, but a part of me was relieved. The uncertainty over the last week has been a horrible limbo, the not knowing was so hard to deal with."

"No it doesn't make you a bad person, that just makes you human," Lanie reassured her.

"Thanks Lanie. You're a good friend." There was a pause as Beckett struggled with doing something totally foreign to her nature, admitting weakness and asking for help. "Lanie I need to ask you a favor. Will you come to the funeral with me?"

"When is it?"

"Josh's family are still making arrangements but it should be sometime in the next two or three days."

"I'm sorry Kate but I'm flying out tomorrow. It's my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary, otherwise I'd cancel."

"That's ok, I'm sure it will be fine."

* * *

Although Kate had brushed it off, Lanie knew that her friend didn't ask for help lightly. She was 'Miss Independent', sometimes frustratingly her friends with her need to not rely on others. So it was a big call for Kate to have asked her to be a support person at the funeral. Lanie felt bad that she couldn't be there for her friend but she did the next best thing, that evening after she'd left Kate at her apartment Lanie made the phone call that she knew that Kate wouldn't.

"Dr Parish, to what do I owe the pleasure of your phone call?" Castle was curious as to why she was calling him. Although he was friends with Lanie, almost all of their interactions had been through Beckett.

"Hey Castle. Sorry this isn't a social call. Josh died today, his funeral is going to be sometime in the next couple of days and Kate needs you there. She won't like me telling you this but she needs some support. I would go myself but I am flying out of town tomorrow morning."

"Ok I'll do it," he said without hesitation. Despite whatever difficulties he was having with Beckett, he could always be counted on when it mattered. Lanie couldn't understand why her friend wasn't leaping into a relationship with such a great guy.

"That's great. I'll let you know the details about where and when as soon as I find out."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Despite the urgings of Josh's parents and his sister, Beckett was sitting by herself a couple of rows from the front. She just hadn't felt right about sitting with his family and besides, with his immediate family plus both sets of grandparents it would have been too crowded anyway.

She'd recognized a few of the other people gathered into the little church, Josh's friends that she had met before. They had come up to her outside the church, before the service, to offer their condolences. They had all meant well but the pity of almost-strangers just made her feel more uncomfortable so she had gone in to sit inside early just to get away from it all.

To the side of the altar there was a large photo of Josh beside his coffin. It wasn't your typical funeral picture, he was in scrubs, a stethoscope around his neck, looking a bit tired and unshaven. It had been taken on one of his overseas trips with Doctors without Borders, someone had taken it when he hadn't noticed. Despite how rough he looked, the photographer had also captured his drive and enthusiasm for his job in that unguarded moment. It was the perfect picture to celebrate his life.

She stared at the photo for a long time, trying to just remember all the good times that they had shared and letting go of the guilt over how it had ended. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear her name being softly called, it wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she became aware of his presence.

"Kate," he repeated her name again as he came to sit down beside her.

"Castle what are you doing here?" She was surprised at his presence. He had never really warmed to Josh. There had always been a few snarky comments the few times that Josh had shown up at the precinct.

"I thought that you could use the company," he explained.

He was right she thought. Although she'd been surrounded by Josh's family and friends, until Castle had shown up she had been alone. "Thanks," she meant it with complete sincerity.

He shrugged as if it was nothing. There wasn't a chance to say anything more as the priest started the service.

* * *

The mourners stood respectfully as the coffin was carried out to the waiting funeral car, the sad melody of the final hymn playing softly. When the final bars of music had faded out the people started to disperse, walking out silently to rejoin the living world.

Beckett made no move at all, she was still staring at the photo at the front, even after they were the only people still inside the church. Castle looked at her, there were tears tracking down her face, she made no effort to wipe them away.

"He was a good man," she finally spoke.

"Yes," he agreed with her quietly. Although he'd been jealous of him, he had to admit that Josh had a lot of admirable qualities. He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. Although it was a relatively warm day her fingers were freezing, he wanted to wrap her up in a big blanket and put a cup of steaming cocoa in her hands.

"What now?" he asked her when she hadn't said anything further for a few moments.

She sniffed and finally pulled a handkerchief out of her coat pocket to dab at her tears. "The family is going to the cemetery for the burial but I don't think that I am up to it. I should probably find them and give them my apologies for not going." There was a pause before she asked him for a favor. "I don't want to be alone right now, if you're not busy can you keep me company for a little bit please?"

If she'd waited just a little bit longer then he would have suggested the very same thing, he didn't think that it was a good time for her to be by herself. Even so, he was surprised that she'd asked, he'd thought that she'd want to be alone, to retreat back into her shell. In her personal life she was very guarded, it wasn't like her to ask someone in when she was feeling vulnerable.

"Sure, I'd love to."

"Thanks Castle," she gave another sniff and gathered herself up before they walked out into the bright late morning sunshine. People were milling around the front of the church, as if they weren't quite sure what to do with themselves. Beckett spotted the Davidsons standing together near the front doors, a line of mourners shuffling past them to give their condolences.

When it was her turn, she gave each of them a hug, although she hadn't known them all that well before, they had shared the misery of uncertainty over the last week. There was something about sharing an unpleasant experience that bonded people together.

"That was a lovely eulogy Sarah, I am sure that Josh would have been proud."

"Thanks Kate, I wanted this day to be about more than mourning, I wanted people to remember the good things that Josh brought into our lives."

"Well you certainly achieved that. There were a couple of times there where I found myself laughing. Anyway I wanted to find you guys before you drove off to the cemetery. I'm not going to go, it's all been a bit much for me, I'm sorry," Beckett apologized.

The Davidsons were all gracious about it, saying that they understood. And then Beckett moved on so that the next person in line could take her place.

* * *

In the end he drove her back to her place, she didn't really know what she wanted to do other than not be alone, and at least if she went home then she could get changed out of the black dress and coat that she had worn for the funeral.

She unlocked her front door and strolled in, he followed closely behind her. Her apartment looked the same as the last time he was here, he tried not to remember the painful encounter that had happened then.

"Make yourself at home," she told him. "I'm just going to get changed into some casual clothes."

"How about I make us some coffees?" he offered.

"That sounds good, you know where everything is," she walked off to her bedroom as he busied himself in the kitchen. Taking a bag of roasted beans from the fridge he turned the coffee filterer on and poured out a measure of grounds. By the time the pot was ready he'd found two coffee mugs and added a generous splash of whisky into the bottom of each cup before topping them up with the coffee.

"Don't you think it's a bit early to start drinking? It's not even after midday yet," she'd walked into the kitchen just in time to have seen him putting away the whiskey bottle.

"This doesn't count as drinking, it's mainly just coffee. Besides I'm honoring my Irish roots, there's always alcohol at an Irish funeral," he explained.

"I didn't know that you had Irish ties."

"Well technically the Rogers family originally came from Cornwall in the UK, but seeing as I don't know who my father is, I could be part Irish."

She shook her head as his foolishness, but she took the cup that he offered her nonetheless. The warmth from both the coffee and the alcohol was soothing, making her relax her shoulders as she settled into a chair at her kitchen table, one foot pulled up underneath her on the seat.

He took his own cup and sat in the chair opposite her. "Are you feeling better?" he asked.

"Yeah I am, but can we not talk about the funeral for a bit? Tell me what you've been up to this week," she said in a deliberate change of topic. She wanted a bit of normalcy, some conversation without the specter of Josh's death hanging over everything.

"Well we managed to nail that drug dealer, Collins, for the murder of Jamie Stevens."

"That's great," she'd almost forgotten about the case that she had been working on just before Josh's accident. "How did you guys get him? Didn't he have an alibi for that night?"

"Yeah he did, and we couldn't get them to recant but we got a lucky break. A burnt out blue sedan was found down by the wharf a few days later with a discarded 9 mm pistol nearby. He'd probably dropped it thinking it would never be recovered from the water but it got wedged between two pilings on the way down and we managed to find it. The outside of the gun had been wiped down but the lab recovered his prints from the empty clip inside. Ballistics from the gun matched the bullets recovered from the body."

He didn't add how odd it had been going into the precinct when she wasn't there. Ryan and Esposito had a 'bromance' going on and he felt like a third wheel around them. Also he couldn't bounce ideas off them like he could with Beckett. With her, he never had to explain things, she understood the way his mind worked, and vice versa, to the point where they could sometimes finish each other's sentences.

"Good work, although I'm surprised that with the three of you together that any work got done. I mean you are like the Three Stooges the way you guys goof off sometimes." Despite her teasing tone, she had to admit that she was a little bit perturbed to think that things had carried on so smoothly without her at work. She knew that she wasn't indispensable but it sounded like they hadn't missed her at all, while she had missed him. Them, she corrected herself, she had missed them, plural.

"I'm wounded," he said holding a hand over his heart. "It's not goofing off, it's called lateral thinking. Letting the mind wander where it will, it's how I come up with some of my best work."

"Oh is that what you call it? What about that time you were fascinated by those wooden Russian dolls that you kept playing with?"

"Ok, I'll admit that was goofing off. But really it's a miracle how they fit inside one another right down to the teeny tiny one. It's like they aren't constrained by the laws of physics at all. They're so cool that I had to get another set for Alexis as well. I told her that we could play with them together but she said that she wasn't going to be my beard anymore. If I wanted to have a doll's tea party then I would have to do it by myself."

She had to laugh, it was funny how he still managed to have a child-like amazement at the oddest things. "Sometimes I have to wonder who the real parent in the relationship is, you or Alexis?"

"Oh, it's definitely me, but I'm just a really cool Dad." To demonstrate his point he launched into a story of his roller-blading excursion to the park with Alexis last week. His hands were gesticulating wildly as he demonstrated how he'd tried to do a little jump off the curbside and ended up doing an unintentional cartwheel which had looked pretty cool in the end.

She noticed the danger a split second before he would have clipped the side of the cup spilling hot coffee all over himself, her hand shooting out to grab his before he came to any grief. She hadn't meant to touch him again, not after their night together, so she wasn't quite sure why she was still holding his hand now that the potential disaster had been averted.

He looked down at their joined hands, the humor that had been there only a moment ago had now completely disappeared. Then he looked up at her face, searching for some sign that she was remembering the same things that he was. He must have seen something there because he was moving closer to her, his hand slipped behind her neck to pull her forward as well until their lips met. The last time she had made the first move, this time it was all his initiative.

She tasted the same, he thought as his tongue slowly explored her lips. The scent of her cherry body lotion perfumed the air just like the last time and he could same ache pooling in his groin. His mind was starting to go blank from the passion when she suddenly pulled away.

They stared at each other for a minute, the harsh sounds of their breathing was the only noise.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. "I guess that this is something else that we're going to pretend never happened?" He made a question out of it, hoping that she would correct him, hoping that she would say that she wasn't sorry and they didn't need to pretend about anything. But instead she said nothing and that was enough of an answer as far as he was concerned.

He moved back from her slowly and then stood. "I think I should go now." And still she said nothing as he walked out her front door.

**A/N: Thanks for reading, and for the reviews. Sorry this one has taken a while but I just didn't know where it was going, it stubbornly refused to give me any clues.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Castle sat staring at his phone as it continued to ring but he made no move to answer it. The caller ID announced that it was Beckett who was trying to get hold of him, normally he would be eager to talk to her but after what had happened yesterday he was avoiding her. They had crossed over a threshold by having sex and it wasn't something that you could just take back, their kiss yesterday proved it.

He hadn't meant to kiss her, he'd tried to respect her wishes and forget their shared night. Truly he'd been on his best behavior and despite all his good intentions it had still happened. The lesson that he had learned from that was that he needed a break, a break from Kate. He needed some time to get over his dream of her, he wasn't sure how long that would take but it would be for the best.

There was a chirping sound as his phone announced that he had a new voice message, as he expected it was from Beckett. "Hey Castle, it's me," there was a pause. "Anyway I guess you must be busy. We've caught a new case, the body is over at 1015 Lexington and I'm headed over there now. When you're not busy anymore call me."

Hi fingers were literally itching to call her back, the temptation was that great. If he stayed in New York he knew that he wouldn't be able to keep to his resolution so he made a call through to his agent. "Hi Paula it's Rick. You know that book tour of the west coast that you wanted me to do? Well some time has opened up on my schedule, so I'm free for the next two weeks, how does that work for you?"

Within two hours he'd gotten an email from Paula with a confirmed itinerary of book signings and interviews, with flights and accommodation all booked. It was a pretty packed schedule with a new city every couple of days which would keep him busy, and that was exactly what he wanted. Busy meant that he wouldn't have time to brood over Kate. He was looking over the print out when Alexis joined him in his office.

"Hey Dad, what have you got there?"

"Hi Pumpkin. This is the timetable for my book tour. I'm going to be flying out in a couple of days and I'll be gone for about a week and a half. Do you fancy joining me? I could write you a note for school."

"Thanks for the offer Dad, but I have exams next week."

"It makes me sad. How is it that I ended up with the only seventeen year old who would rather sit exams than go on an exciting trip to see the great cultural heritage sites of San Francisco, Los Angeles and Las Vegas?"

"I know I'm a great disappointment but somehow I don't think the Hollywood Walk of Fame or the MGM Grand are on the UNESCO world heritage list. You'll just have to survive without me."

"Well if you won't join me for the book tour itself how about we have a holiday together at the end of it? That coincides with your semester break so you won't be missing out on any school. A week of just you and me, anywhere that you want to go. You know that we won't get the chance for this kind of quality father-daughter time when you go off to college in another year." He deliberately played it up and gave her the sad puppy eyes as well.

"Dad you know that you don't have to guilt-trip me into spending time with you. I'd love to go on holiday with you. How about we go to England? It would give me a chance to check out Oxford," she teased him. She laughed at the predictably horrified face he made. "Ok maybe not England then. How about the Florida Keys then?"

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Ashley and his parents are going there at about the same time would it? Is that why you suggested England first, to soften me up a bit before hitting me with the alternative?"

Alexis tried to pull off an innocent façade but her laugh gave it away. "Ok Dad, but I'd like to spend time with both you and Ashley on my holiday and this way it means that I can. And I promise that we'll still have just father-daughter time, at least three Ashley-free days."

"Fine," he groused. "But if I have to spend time alone with his parents then you will pay for it."

"Great, I'm going to call him now and see if it's ok with him and his parents." With a quick kiss on his cheek, Alexis rushed out of the office to tell her boyfriend the good news.

Castle knew when he was being manipulated but he didn't really resent it when the person doing the manipulating was his daughter. Truth be told, she'd had him wrapped around her little finger since the minute that she'd been born. The thought of a holiday with Alexis at the end of the tedious book tour picked up his spirits. Suddenly the next few weeks didn't seem so bad after all. Hopefully the relaxation time and putting some distance between them would let him deal with his feelings for a certain NYPD detective and let him move on. Now he just had to tell her about his plans.

It was cowardly of him, and he knew it but he didn't think that he could cope with seeing her at this point in time. So instead of telling her in person that he was off for three weeks, he sent a text. 'Going on book tour, won't b in 4 a while. TTYL' He deliberately left it vague as to how long he'd be gone for, maybe he could sort his crap out in three weeks but he'd play it by ear.

* * *

Beckett was sitting staring at her murder board, mentally trying to juggle the clues around so that they formed so sort of reasonable story. She was getting nowhere; there were too many missing pieces, so the ping of a text alert from her phone was a welcome diversion from the frustrating case.

It was a message from Castle, she hadn't heard back from him since calling him that morning and she had a sinking feeling that she wasn't going to like the text reply. The little black letters on the screen didn't say much but the message behind them practically screamed at her. He was disappearing again; this was a repeat of last summer. So much for him telling her 'always', obviously that had been a throwaway line brought on by the imminent prospect of freezing to death, not a promise that he intended to keep.

She consoled herself with the thought that at least she'd been smart enough not to compound her mistake of sleeping with him by pursuing him any further. If he wanted to go away for a while then that was fine, no-one was forcing him to turn up at the station every day. She certainly wasn't going to go chasing after him and if he decided that he'd had enough of playing at being a cop then she would wish him well with his life.

She kept repeating that over and over again to herself but none of those lies made her feel any better.

* * *

With a flourish he signed his name again for what felt like the thousandth time, his wrist was starting to ache but fortunately that was the last person for today. This was his sixth city in the last ten days, it had been a grueling pace but he only had one last interview to do tonight on a chat show before he could look forward to his holiday with Alexis.

"Thank you so much, my daughter is going to love this," said the middle aged lady, who was now clutching her autographed edition of Naked Heat. "I read that Cosmo article about you last year, you looked great in it and so did Detective Beckett. I can see why she was your inspiration for Nikki Heat."

He kept the smile firmly fixed on his face as he politely thanked her for her compliments. The last couple of weeks had been just like this, he'd be able to not think about her for a while but then something or someone would trigger her memory and he'd be in turmoil again. So far his plans for getting over his feelings for Kate Beckett weren't working, maybe there was some truth to the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder, he just had to hope that more time would enough.

Finally with his book signing duties all complete he could escape back to his hotel room for a bit of rest before the TV show tonight. As he sat in the back of the cab he took his phone out and turned off the silent mode. Usually he didn't like to take calls in the middle of doing promotional stuff, it wasn't fair to his readers, they had come to see him and he owed it to them to at least give them his unstinting attention.

There was one text from Alexis saying she was looking forward to seeing him in a couple of days in Florida for their holidays. And there was also a missed call from his agent, Paula, but no other alerts. Although he would have denied it if anyone had asked, what he'd really been doing was checking for was any messages from Beckett. Although he was avoiding her, he still wanted to hear her voice. It was like when you had a loose tooth and you can't help wriggling it around with you tongue and probing at it despite the pain.

He hadn't heard from her at all since he sent her that text message. What was she doing right now, he wondered? Had she been missing him as much as he'd missed her these last few days? It was mean of him but he'd like to think that she'd been just as miserable without him as he was without her.

As soon as he got into the room he headed for the shower. Hopefully the warm water would help to drown out his dark thoughts. He was sick of moping around, he was normally optimistic and this prolonged low patch was really getting to him.

Half an hour later he was clean and refreshed and nursing a glass of scotch as he sat at the hotel bar waiting for a driver to pick him up. They arrived promptly at 5 pm and took him over to the studios for the pre-show prep. He'd had his session with the make up artist and was perusing the buffet table when the host wandered over to introduce herself.

"Hi I'm Sam Carter, it's great to have you on the show." She was a pint sized blonde, but despite her diminutive stature she had a confidence that made her seem about six foot tall and it was certainly no burden to look at her.

He realized that he'd been staring at her a bit too long when she cleared her throat subtly. "Sorry. I'm Richard Castle, call me Rick."

"It's nice to meet you Rick. And I certainly know who you are; I'm a big fan of your books. I think that I must have read them all at least twice. I'll confess I've even been to your fan site."

There was nothing like the flattery of a beautiful woman to make a man feel like a giant, even though he knew it was her job to make her guests feel relaxed for the show, his ego was about the size of the sun right now. It made a nice to know that at least some women found him attractive.

"Well thank you, it's always a pleasure to meet a fan, especially one as lovely as yourself," he couldn't help himself, it was like it was a reflex for him, to flirt with a pretty girl.

"Have you been to Seattle before, Rick?"

"No I must confess that this is my first time, but the city is lovely, the people are nice and I'm sure that I'll want to visit again. I'm hoping to do a bit of sight seeing tomorrow as I have a few hours free before I fly back in the evening."

She smiled as if she was sizing him up. "Would you like a tour guide? The only charge will be that you have to buy me lunch."

He was taken back a little by her direct manner. It was kind of refreshing though for a woman to be clear about her interest in him. "How could I say no to an offer like that? I'm looking forward to it."

An assistant producer came up to them at that point, cutting off the chance for any more conversation. "Sorry, the show is starting now. I have to get to my seat but we'll talk after."

**A/N: Hope that this was quick enough update. I must say that the threat of violence was certainly an inspiration to writing, although I must admit that I'm not quite sure why I should be scared of a pretty floral bonnet.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

It was a bit grey and overcast but if you wanted sunny blue skies then you don't come to Seattle. Despite the weather Castle found that he was having a good time. True to her word, Sam had picked him up from his hotel at 9.30 a.m. and their first stop had been Pike Place Market.

Although it had started out as just a farmers' market over a century ago, it had since evolved into nine acres that offered more than just fresh fruit and veges. The dozens of little artisan stalls and shops held lots of unexpected treasures. Castle admired a hand crafted weathervane, shaped like an Irish setter, which he had just purchased. It was totally impractical for him, given the fact that he lived in an apartment, but he hadn't been able to resist the impulse.

"This is so cool, I always wanted one of these when I was growing up."

"What, a weathervane?" asked Sam.

"No a dog, this breed in fact. I remember watching this television program about living on the frontier as a pioneer. I imagined being this kid, surviving in the Wild West, just me and my trusty hunting dog. In fact I insisted on dressing as a cowboy for one whole summer, drove my mother nuts."

"You must have a very vivid imagination, I imagine that's very useful in your line of work."

"It's certainly handy, although I must admit that I get a lot of ideas from real life. In fact some of the cases that I've seen has been so bizarre that readers wouldn't believe it if I used it in my books."

"That's right, I read that you've been shadowing a NYPD detective around for your Nikki Heat series. A case of art imitating life then."

He could see the hidden question that she was asking, exactly how autobiographical were his books? "Some of my story lines are similar to real murder cases but the interactions between the characters are purely fiction."

"So you and the detective aren't an item then?"

"For the record, no we're not. I have to say that I feel like I'm back in the interview seat again."

"Sorry," she was quick to apologize. "It's an occupational hazard of being a chat show host, it's like there's no filter between my brain and my mouth. Sometimes I forget that I can't go around asking people intrusive questions in real life. Come on, let me get you a pumpkin cookie from my favorite bakery as an apology gift. It's just down that way." She casually took his hand as she led him through the crowds of people thronged around the stalls.

"Sure," he said. He knew that she wasn't being malicious about it, there was no way that she could know what a sore spot that particular topic was for him at the moment, but it still hurt just the same. Snap out of it, he told himself. Why couldn't he just enjoy the company of an intelligent, beautiful woman who didn't treat him like a leper?

"As promised, an apology cookie," she formally handed a white paper bag over to him.

"Apology accepted. Wow, these are seriously good," he took a second appreciative bite. "How is that I've never tasted this sugary goodness before? I seriously need to get a box of these to take home to Alexis."

"I'm happy to have introduced you to a wonderful new experience," she laughed at the exaggerated ecstatic face that he was making.

"I wonder if I can get these in New York or maybe get a box sent FedEx to me every week."

"Nope, I'm pretty sure that these cookies are a Seattle special. You'll just have to come back to visit again if you want some more."

* * *

Three hours later, having picked up several more impractical novelty gifts, and visited a few Seattle icons, they were ensconced at a table in a cozy little Italian restaurant.

"So how did you enjoy your whistle-stop tour of Seattle?" Sam asked him as she sipped her post-meal coffee.

"I had a great time. With such a lovely and knowledgeable guide, who could complain?"

She tipped her head slightly to acknowledge the compliment. "I had a good time too Rick. If you ever happened to find yourself back in this part of the country give me a call. Maybe we could do this again sometime."

"That would be nice. And you know if you are ever in New York then I'd be happy to return the favor," he offered.

"Well I have to head into the studio now, do the prep for tonight's show and meet the next lot of guests."

He gallantly got to his feet as she stood up from the table.

"Good bye Rick," she leant in to give him a kiss, aiming for his lips but at the last second he turned his head slightly so it landed on his cheek.

"Bye Sam," he could tell that she was surprised by his action but he made no effort to explain it. She walked away with a bemused look on her face, she wasn't used to being turned down by men.

There had been lots of casual touches over the course of the morning. Nothing too overt but enough to let him know she was interested. So he wasn't too surprised by her attempted kiss at the end but how he'd reacted had surprised even him. He'd enjoyed the attention and frankly it was flattering, but the problem was that she wasn't Kate.

He wasn't really sure that he could explain it without coming off like some sorry sap. He was still pining after a woman that he'd been following around like some lost puppy for the last three years. How pathetic was that? But no matter how much he berated himself it didn't change the fundamentals, the heart wants what the heart wants.

* * *

Beckett didn't even smile as she listened to Ryan and Esposito bickering about whose turn it was to play bad cop in the interrogation.

"Come on, you got to be bad cop last time. It must be my turn this time," whined Ryan.

"No, I'm always bad cop because you can't pull if off bro. They take one look at your pretty Irish face and they know that you're the good cop," Esposito explained.

"For goodness sake. Cut it out you guys, or I'll show both of you who's bad cop," Beckett threatened. Normally she would have laughed at how the other two detectives behaved like an old married couple sometimes, but she'd been missing her sense of humor for the last two weeks.

Everyone at the station had noticed, and most people had put it down to the recent death of her boyfriend but Esposito wasn't so sure. Everyone was treating her with kiddie gloves because of her recent loss so no-one had called her on it yet. The funny thing was that her bad mood also coincided with Castle's disappearance and he remembered how she'd been last summer. There was no point in talking to Beckett about it, she'd just bite his head off, so instead he decided to go right to the source of the problem.

Esposito waited until that evening when he was at home before he called. He got through on the second ring and he didn't waste any time with the pleasantries. "Castle what the hell are you doing?"

"Well hello to you as well Esposito. And I'm sitting in the airport lounge in Seattle, waiting for my flight to Miami," Castle wasn't sure why his friend sounded so angry.

"Cut the crap bro. I didn't mean what are you doing now. I meant what are you doing to Beckett?"

"I'm not doing anything to her, I haven't even spoken to her for the last fortnight," he protested.

"Don't play dumb. You're avoiding her, this is just like that time you disappeared off to the Hamptons for the summer. Do you know how hurt she was by that?"

Castle was stunned by Esposito's admission. He'd gotten the cold shoulder from everyone when he'd come back last fall but it had been a general thing, Kate had never confessed how she'd personally felt about it.

"Don't do that to her again, she doesn't deserve that," Esposito continued. "Or if you're going to keep avoiding her then don't bother coming back again, you won't be welcome." Esposito hung up before he got a chance to say anything more.

Castle sat staring at his phone, working up the courage to call her. Esposito had been right, he had been running and that wasn't fair. He needed to talk to her before she decided that she didn't want anything to do with him at all.

After that build up it was an anticlimax when her phone went straight through to voice mail. "Hi it's Kate Beckett, I can't answer right now, but you know what to do after the beep."

"Hi it's me. I guess that you must be busy. Sorry I haven't called for a while but it's been pretty busy. Paula's been a slave driver, she's packed in as much promotional work as she could schedule. I'm flying to Florida tonight for a week's holiday with Alexis so I guess it'll be another week before I see you but I just wanted to talk. Anyway I just wanted to say sorry again, and I'll try phoning again tomorrow."

He knew that he'd been rambling there, towards the end, but it was so much harder leaving a message for her machine, than it was talking to her, face to face. There was a lot that he wanted to say, but he just wasn't sure how to say it. He sighed, unfortunately there wasn't a lot he could do about the situation while they were several thousand miles apart.

True to his word, he called her again the next day as he stood waiting for Alexis at Miami airport. He'd flown into Miami last night and they were meeting up here for their charter plane flight to Key West. He kept one eye out for Alexis' distinctive red hair as he listened to the ring tone switch over to voice mail again.

"Hi it's me again. I guess that I must have the world's worst timing. No doubt you're busy with work stuff, so I won't bother you with a long winded message. Talk to you later." He hung up and was startled to realize that Alexis was standing right in front of him. "Honey, don't sneak up on me like that." He slung his arm around her shoulders for a quick hug as they went off to collect her luggage.

"Dad, I called your name like three times. I don't think that you can call that sneaking up somehow. It must have been a pretty important call. Who were you speaking to?"

"To a machine actually." He brushed aside her curiosity. "You know how I hate leaving voice messages, it's just weird talking when you know that no-one actually listening on the other end, just an inanimate object."

"Poor Dad," she reached up to gently pat his cheek. "But by now I would have thought you'd be used to talking to yourself, after all aren't you always complaining that I never listening to you anyway."

"Well it's true, you don't listen to me. I still maintain that a chocolate, peanut butter and strawberry combination would make for a pretty good muffin."

Alexis gave a little shudder at the thought of the mish mash of flavors. "I'm pretty sure that it counts as child abuse if you do weird food experiments on your child. I could report you to Detective Beckett for that. I'm sure that she could arrest you or do something about it."

He felt his smile slip slightly at Alexis' unintentional reminder, but he recovered quickly before she noticed. "Just for that I might not share the box of pumpkin cookies that I got for you from Seattle. I wouldn't want to be accused of food experimentation on a minor. Come on, let's go. We've got a flight to take if you want to spend some time with your boyfriend." He pulled her suitcase from the luggage carousel and they made their way over to charter company counter.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Hey Beckett, are you going to get that?" Ryan asked as her phone continued to ring.

She didn't even bother to glance at the screen again as the phone finally stopped. "Nope, see it's stopped already." She had taken to screening her calls so that she wouldn't have to talk to _him_. It was petty of her and she knew it, but she'd been angry and hurt so she was paying him back with a little of his own medicine. How would he like it if she ignored him for a while?

Of course none of these plans for vengeance could explain why she didn't immediately erase all his voice messages. Why, in fact, she played them over and over again when she was alone just so that she could hear his voice and imagine his face. But that was something that she would never admit to another living soul.

He'd called every day for the last four days. It was like he had swung from one extreme to another. He'd gone from complete silence for the last two weeks, to calling her at least three times a day. He never really said anything particularly personal in his calls; it was more like he was just catching up with her, letting her know about his day. Already she'd heard about the disastrous snorkelling incident, and the tedious dinner with Ashley's parents.

She had another three days before he got back to the city, he'd reminded her several times about exactly when he'd be back. The subtext behind that was that she had three more days before she'd have to talk to him. Short of leaving the country, there weren't any other options.

It was obvious that he wasn't going to conveniently ignore that night they'd slept together anymore. The truth was that she was having problems pretending as well. That last time that he'd kissed her, it had taken all of her self control to pull away from him, when what she'd wanted to do was drag him to bed. She was very conflicted about what she wanted and she was sick of thinking about it because the answer wasn't becoming any clearer.

"I'm headed off to the morgue, hopefully the autopsy results on that John Doe that was found at the park will be back by now," she told Ryan and Esposito as she grabbed her coat off the back of her chair. It was just an excuse to stretch her legs for a bit, and hopefully clear her mind.

Lanie was in her office, going over paperwork when Beckett found her.

"Hey Lanie, is that the report on my John Doe?"

"Hi Kate, yes it is in fact. I was just finishing it up. Looks like a simple overdose, there weren't any suspicious findings. His toxicology came back showing a mixture of alcohol, opiates and benzodiazepines. He had enough drugs in his system to stock a small pharmacy. Judging from the track marks on his arms, this wasn't his first time shooting up. And if it hadn't been for the drugs then the alcohol would have gotten him in another few years, his liver cirrhosis was pretty advanced. So I'm happy to sign this one off as an accidental overdose, so that means no work for you."

"Oh, ok thanks. I guess I'll head back to the precinct then."

"Come on girl, tell me the real reason why you're here."

"What do you mean? I came to see what you'd found on John Doe."

"Don't try and bullshit me. Do I look like a sucker to you? Our friend John here wasn't a priority case, we both knew that he was always going to turn out to be an OD. Normally you'd just wait for me to fax you my report on something like that, you wouldn't come all the way down here to ask me about it. So, come on and spill. Tell me what's got you all hot and bothered?"

"Esposito's been talking outside of class again hasn't he? Are you guys sharing a bit of pillow talk?"

"Nuh ahh, don't go changing the subject girlfriend, we're talking about you here. And I've seen it for myself. The boys have been walking on eggshells around you, you're grumpy and ready to bite someone's head off at the least little things, and that's just not like you."

When Beckett didn't say anything, Lanie tried a more direct question.

"Is it because Castle's gone AWOL?" Apart from that one conversation where Beckett had confessed about it to Lanie, the two friends hadn't really talked about _the incident_ since then, mainly because Beckett would just stonewall or change the topic.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're upset about it. The timing of your bad mood coincides with when he left. What happened with you guys?" Lanie was patient, she knew that sometimes it was a matter of just waiting for Beckett to be ready to talk. And the fact that her friend had sought her out over some minor thing, suggested that the time was now.

"You know how I told him that I wanted to pretend that _that night_ didn't happen. Well he agreed to go along with that and I thought that everything would be able to go back to the way it was before. So anyway, I saw him the day of Josh's funeral. I guess someone must have told him about that." Beckett paused to give Lanie a significant stare.

"Maybe he likes to read the obituaries, Castle is a little bit morbid that way," Lanie said with a completely innocent face.

"Hmpff," was Beckett's opinion about the likelihood of that. "So he came to funeral and afterwards we were having a drink to unwind from it all. He was goofing around and almost knocked his glass over and I went to grab it and somehow we ended up kissing again." She paused for while.

"Girl you have got to be kidding, you can't leave me hanging like that," Lanie protested. "What happened after that?"

"Well nothing really. I pulled back and then he left. And I haven't seen him since then."

"I swear that getting information out of you is like breaking into the Pentagon. I need details. Ok, firstly why did you pull back?"

"Kissing him doesn't really fit in with my whole plan of ignoring the sex, plus we'd just come back from Josh's funeral, it just didn't feel right."

"Ok, I can see that the timing is bad. But if it wasn't for that, then would you want to kiss him?"

"Castle is my partner, sort of, and my friend. Let's say I went out with him and it didn't work out, then things would be really awkward and I don't want to lose him as a friend."

"Look you guys have already seen each other naked, you can't undo that. The situation is awkward enough that he literally skipped out of town, so it can't get any worse. As far as awkward is concerned the horse has already bolted and in fact it's coming down the home stretch. And you still didn't answer my question. Do you want to kiss him?"

"Yes," Beckett admitted in a small voice.

"Good, at least you aren't lying to yourself about that. Frankly the only people that you guys have managed to deceive have been yourselves. The rest of us could see the chemistry between you two for years now. So now that you've admitted that there's an attraction there, tell me what else is stopping you?"

"We might be attracted to each other but I'm not sure that we have anything else in common. He's rich, and famous. He gets invited to A-list parties and then the next day his picture appears on page six. I don't know if I could deal with the paparazzi taking photos and starting rumors about me."

"Money is what he has, it's not who he is. Tell me, has he ever made you feel inferior because you earn less than he does?"

"Well no, it's never been an issue."

"And as for the publicity side of it, it might be unpleasant, especially because you are a private person, but I don't think it's a good enough reason to discount him completely. Castle has made a lot of concessions to fit into your world. He comes in at all hours and he's even risked his life, even though he's not a cop. Maybe putting up with the odd photo of you in the paper would be your concession."

"But what if we don't have anything outside of work?"

"Kate, don't make me slap you, that is so lame. Work is just an excuse for you guys to hang out. I've seen you two together, the way that you can finish each other's sentences is freaky. Besides you don't want to go out with someone who is just a mirror of yourself. You already tried that with Will and Tom. Castle is good for you, he's made you more fun and you've helped him mature. I noticed that you didn't try to say that he's a playboy."

Beckett just waved that off, it hadn't even crossed her mind. That accusation might have been true once upon a time, when she had first met him he'd tried to proposition her. Dinner and a chance to debrief each other had been the way that he'd put it. But he'd changed since then, they had been through too much together for her to think that he was just after a fling.

"Have you got any other excuses for why you aren't jumping his fine ass?"

"No I guess not."

"So what are you going to do then?"

"I don't know. He's still away in Florida at the moment, he's not back for another three days. But he has been calling me incessantly for the last few days and I've not been answering. Maybe I should talk to him if he calls tonight?"

"Girl, you don't want to do that."

Beckett was confused by that advice. "Lanie have you developed a split personality or something? You've just been trying to convince me to go for it with Castle and now you're telling me not to talk to him?"

"Damn right I am. That boy deserves to stew for a bit after the disappearing act that he pulled. I'm saying that you should give him a chance, but it doesn't hurt if he has to work for it a bit. Wait until he gets back into town before you talk to him. Gives you the upper hand and besides his ego could do with coming down a notch or two." She smiled slightly to soften the criticism. "Guys need to know who wears the pants in the relationship, and I find it's best to establish that at the start."

"Does Esposito know this?"

"He certainly does, and you know what, he's not complaining about it either," Lanie gave her a little smirk.

Beckett laughed as she left Lanie's office. "Thanks for the advice Lanie. I'd better go back to work now."

"Ok, but you'd better tell me what happens once writer boy gets back. Don't make me hunt you down and beat it out of you. Remember to call….."

The office door swung shut, cutting Lanie's voice off. Beckett smiled, feeling lighter than she had in days. The talk with Lanie had helped clear through the fog in her brain. Her friend had made some very good points but there was one thing that Beckett hadn't confessed to her.

Her biggest fear about Castle was that she could end up being very hurt. She felt something for him, exactly what that was she didn't want to put a label on. The pattern with her past relationships had always been that she'd kept one foot out the door, that way if she got disappointed then she could easily move on. She wasn't sure if that was an option with Rick.

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. And for those of you who are American and have been puzzled by some of the words, no I don't live in the US so some of the language and colloquialisms that I use might sound strange coming from the characters. Although you might also have noted that my spell checker is definitely US-English format (it keeps wanting to change words like _favourite_,_ humour_ and _cosy_). Anyway I hope that it still makes sense despite the occasional odd word.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Beckett was just unlocking the door to her apartment when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Years of practice made it instinctive as she grabbed that hand and spun her body around so that she ended up behind her attacker, his arm now twisted up behind his back.

"Apples, apples, apples!" he shouted.

She let go of him quickly once she realized exactly who the 'attacker' was. "Jeez Castle, don't scare me like that. Haven't you learnt not to sneak up on a cop by now? You're lucky I didn't break your arm."

"Sorry, I won't do it again. Though I'm not sure why I'm apologizing, seeing as I'm the one with the dead arm." He shook it a few times, trying to relieve the ache in his shoulder.

Although she felt guilty about causing him pain, she didn't let that show in her face. "Stop being a baby about it, there's no permanent damage. And what are you doing here anyway? You should have called instead of just turning up uninvited."

"Well I just got back into town a couple of hours ago and I wanted to talk to you. I would have called but I figured that your phone mustn't be working. There couldn't be any other reason for why I haven't been able to get hold of you at all for the last week."

She gave a little shake of the head to acknowledge the sarcasm in his last sentence. They both knew that she'd been screening out his calls. "Fine, let's talk then."

"Can we please at least go inside first? I really don't want to do this in your hallway."

There was a pause as if she was considering leaving him just standing there, before she finally conceded and opened the door. "Fine, come in then," she said ungraciously as she walked in first. She dropped her gym bag beside the door and then turned to look at him. She didn't ask him to sit down or offer him a drink, she just watched him with a steady gaze as he fidgeted under her scrutiny.

"I missed you Kate."

Crap, she thought, how was it that he could always get around her defenses. That one sentence alone chipped away at the residual anger she still felt for the way he'd left. "You certainly have a funny way of showing it then Castle. I didn't hear a thing from you for the first two weeks." She tried to remind herself that she had a right to be angry, he wasn't going to get off that easily.

"I know, I shouldn't have done that and I wanted to say that I'm sorry. Forgive me, please?"

She gave a big sigh, it was very hard to have an argument with someone who kept on agreeing with you. If he'd come here and tried to justify his actions then she would have been prepared to blast him out of the water but she had no counter to this humble apology.

"Ok, but don't you ever do that again or I swear to God I will shoot you."

"I promise I won't," he said as he crossed his heart. "And look, as an apology gift I got you a pony."

She looked at the stuffed animal he held out to her, the laugh escaped from her mouth despite her effort to suppress it.

He grinned at her response, she couldn't be all that mad at him if she was laughing. "Is it cute or what? The gift shop person said that his mane is long enough to actually braid if you like. Girls love that kind of crap."

"God Castle, that is so sexist and a big generalization."

"Come on, admit it Beckett. I bet that you probably pestered your parents about getting you a pony when you were a little girl."

There wasn't anyway that she could refute his argument without lying, so she just settled for shaking her head. "Thank you," she said as she took the gift from him. She pretended to study the stuffed animal for a bit. "This looks more like a jackass than a pony though. Maybe I should call it Rick?"

"Oh you wound me detective," he clutched his hands over his heart. "Besides, you normally call me a smartass not a jackass. I'd like to think that there is a small but subtle difference between the two."

It felt good to joke and tease with him, to hold her own against his quips and repartee. She'd missed his quick wit and the banter that they shared, it was surprising how much she'd come to rely on him to brighten her day. She had only appreciated the extent of it once he'd gone.

"There's a second part to my apology gift."

"Don't tell me that it comes with horse riding lessons."

"No, but I could get you some gift vouchers for that if you want. No, seriously, I was hoping to buy you dinner. That's if you haven't eaten already."

"Sure, I'm starving actually. Have you got somewhere particular in mind?"

"Well I made a booking at Le Bernardin in about an hour, so we've got plenty of time to get there."

"Huh. That was a bit arrogant of you wasn't it? What if I hadn't forgiven you?"

"If you'd been able to withstand my charm and the lure of a really good meal, then I did have a plan B."

"And what would that be?"

"I was going to lie down on the floor, kicking and screaming like a four year old having a temper tantrum until you gave in."

"And you thought that that would work?"

"Well it does for the kids in the candy aisle at the supermarket. Plus I've pulled that trick a few times on Alexis and she always gives in. The last time I used it was to convince her to go Segway racing with me."

Somehow she could just imagine Castle pulling a fake tantrum as his mature teenage daughter just looked on. "That poor child must be severely traumatized, she probably needs therapy after having witnessed that."

"Ah but Beckett, that's the fun of having children. One day, when she's all grown up, I'll be able to point to her and say 'all those hang ups that she has, they're all because of me.' It will be my finest moment."

She had to laugh because it was so blatantly untrue. Castle would bend over backwards to make sure that Alexis had a stable safe upbringing. "I'm just going to shower and get changed out of my gym clothes. Make yourself at home, there are drinks in the fridge if you want. I shouldn't be too long, say thirty minutes and then we can go," she said as she wandered off down to the bathroom.

* * *

He was watching some television when he heard her come back into the lounge. "Have you ever seen this program before? It is so cool, Bear Grylls is like my new hero," he said pointing to the man on screen.

"No, what's it about?" she asked as she came around the sofa to join him.

"He's like an wilderness guru, and they drop him off in these different hostile environments and he teaches you how to survive them. So far he's eaten some ugly looking sea slugs and collected fresh water using …" His train of thought was derailed when he finally turned to look at her. "Wow, you look …amazing."

Embarrassed by his compliment she looked down at the ensemble that had elicited such praise. The pale blue chiffon dress was a lot more feminine than the suits he normally saw her in. "Yeah, well I thought this would be appropriate. I know how fancy that restaurant is. By the way how did you manage to get a reservation at Le Bernardin at such short notice? Aren't they normally booked out weeks in advance?"

He'd noted her subtle change of topics. She was a rarity, a truly beautiful woman who didn't know how to accept a compliment. But since it was obviously making her uncomfortable, he didn't mention it again. "The maitre d'hotel is a big fan, I promised her an advance copy of the next Nikki Heat novel. So are you ready to go? The car service should be ready downstairs by now."

She patted the pockets of her coat quickly; keys, purse and phone. "Yeah, I'm ready."

* * *

It felt like a date, from the way he opened the door of the town car for her, to the way he'd steered her to the bar with his hand in the small of her back. She wasn't sure if that was his intention, or maybe this was really just an apology and he'd moved on in the weeks that they spent apart. And she wasn't sure which of the two scenarios she was more nervous about.

"What can I get for guys?" asked the barman.

"I'll have a chocolate martini thanks," she said.

"Do you have any Grey Goose vodka? Great, I'll have some on ice please."

"What are you smiling about Castle?"

"Nothing. It's just that a chocolate martini is a very girly drink. Between that and the dress I feel like I am seeing a different side of you tonight, that's all."

"Well, it might have escaped your notice, but I am a girl."

"No, I've definitely noticed that you aren't one of the 'boys'. My mother gave me that talk about the difference between boys and girls when I was about eight." There was a sparkle in his eye as he remembered the one time he'd been able to see all the differences between them, up close and personal. "Of course by then, Bobby Cowan, who was my best friend at the time, had already filled me on all the important stuff."

"Why doesn't it surprise me that you were a pervert at eight?"

"Not a pervert. I just like to think that I was just advanced for my years. So tell me Beckett, when you did you discover that little boys and little girls were different?"

"It was when I was a mature ten year old. My friend Abby Miller told me that Patrick Kelly had kissed her on the mouth. I remember thinking how revolting that was at the time."

"All I can say is thank goodness that it was only a passing phase and that you've grown out of it by now."

"Who says that I didn't find kissing you revolting?" she teased him. They were straying into dangerous waters now, but she didn't care because she was enjoying this.

The maitre d'hotel chose that moment to interrupt them. "Sorry to have kept you waiting. Your table is ready now, if you'd like to follow me. Your drinks will be brought to the table when they are ready."

Beckett admired that fashionable décor as they steered around the tables of other diners . She thought that she'd recognized a few famous faces amongst the mix of people; a couple of high profile athletes, a few actors and the senator for New York. It was funny to think that by being here with Castle, she was just as likely to have her photo appear in tomorrow's paper as they were.

To be honest, the thought of that freaked her out a bit. She pushed her hair behind her ear and bit her bottom lip, an automatic gesture that she sometimes did when she was nervous and was totally unaware of.

But he certainly did notice, he glanced around the room trying to figure out what had made her uneasy. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

She looked across the table at his concerned face and made a decision. She was over-thinking everything; date or apology, it didn't really matter. Let the night play out in whatever way it would, she was just going to enjoy some good food with some good company.

"No, there's nothing wrong. In fact everything is just perfect."

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I wasn't sure that I was channelling Lanie very well. I find her harder to write than the others so it's nice to hear that you guys thought that she was in character. And I hope that you enjoy this little pre-Easter offering, I am so looking forward to a holiday, might even get a bit more work done on the next chapter with the free time : )**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Their very efficient and friendly waitress, Denise, was explaining the specials of the day to them as they perused the menu. "I'll leave you alone to make your choices and I'll be back shortly to take your order."

"Thank you Denise," Beckett said politely as the waitress left. "What are you thinking of having, Castle?"

"The duck special sounded good, and I think that I'm going for the lamb as a main. How about you?"

"It all sounded so good. My problem is that I get menu envy. No matter what I order I always end up wanting what the other person ordered."

"Well, we could always just order one of everything off the menu," he suggested.

"Don't be silly. That would be a waste of food, and money." She lowered her voice slightly so they wouldn't be overheard. "It's a pretty expensive place." The cost of a meal here was probably more than she spent on a whole week's worth of groceries.

"It's my treat tonight, after all I am the one who's apologizing."

"Ok, but we're still not ordering one of everything." Although she'd agreed with him, she was still a bit uncomfortable with him paying for everything. She wasn't one of those girls who expected the guy to always pay when they went out, she would normally offer to pay half. Admittedly she wasn't in the same pay grade as him, but it was the principle of it all. She would make an exception tonight, because it was his way of apologizing and he'd picked an expensive restaurant, but she hoped that he wouldn't make a habit of it.

"Are you ready to order now? Or would you like a few more minutes to decide?" Denise asked as she politely hovered by their table.

"Can I please have the crab ravioli as an entrée and the seared tuna for a main?" Beckett handed back the menu to the waitress.

"That's a good choice, you'll love the crab, I must admit that it's my favorite," Denise confided as she scribbled down the order in shorthand. "And for you sir?"

"I'll have the duck, followed by the rack of lamb, thank you."

"Very good. Can I get you some more drinks as well before I go?"

Castle glanced quickly down the wine list, "Yes, a bottle of the '92 Collins Estate pinot noir please."

"Are you trying to get me drunk Castle?" Beckett asked once they were alone again. "Just remember I can take you."

"Not at all. I'm actually planning on getting drunk myself so that _you_ can have _your_ way with _me_."

She was pretty sure that he was just kidding, but she had to admit that the plan was not without it's own merits. He looked pretty appealing in his pale cream shirt and midnight blue jacket, and it wasn't the clothing that was making a good impression. She already knew what he would taste like if she licked down the line of his jaw, and what his body looked like under the camouflage of his clothes.

To distract herself from where her mind was wandering she changed the topic. "So how did the book tour go?"

He looked pained for a minute, and it took her a second to realize why.

"No, no. I didn't mean it as a dig or to get you to grovel again. I was just curious that's all."

He studied her, looking for any sign that she might still be angry and he must have been reassured by what he saw because he relaxed and answered her question. "It was hectic but boring at the same time. Six cities in ten days. It may sound glamorous jetting from one place to another, but the reality is that all you end up seeing is a lot of airports, hotel rooms and book stores. There were a couple of television and newspaper interviews thrown in there as well but other than that there's not a lot of free time to do anything else. It gets very lonely as well, and by the end I was sick of living out of a suitcase."

"It can't have been all bad."

"Well my publisher picks up the tab for everything, so I like to go wild on the hotel mini bar and the pay-to-view porn."

She rolled her eyes at that comment, she knew that he was just baiting her and didn't dignify it with a reply.

"Ok, I was just kidding about that. Truly the only good part of these promotional deals is meeting my readers. I know that there must be people out there reading my books because they sell well, or maybe they're just buying them to use as paperweights. But it's nice to actually meet them and hear what they thought of the story."

"So it's an ego thing then."

He was truthful enough to admit it, "Yes, partly. I get a buzz from knowing that people get hooked in by the book. But also it keeps my writing grounded. Being a writer can be isolating, the words on the page can't tell you if other people are going to get the scene that you're trying to describe. Feedback, both good and bad helps me improve for my next book. That's why I have the comments section on my fan site."

"Oh come on Castle. There are hardly any negative comments on that site and in fact at least half the comments aren't even about your books." Thinking about it made her more than a little insecure, she'd seen the number of propositions and marriage proposals that he'd received from fans, and that wasn't even counting the obscene ones which she assumed were deleted from the site.

"And exactly how would you know that Detective? Unless of course you've checking up on me on the net," he grinned. They both knew that she was a fan of his books, no matter how hard she tried to deny it.

Damn it, she could feel herself blushing as he'd caught her out. "I looked at your fan site as part of a background check on you. Before that first time that I hauled you in for questioning, on the Tisdale case." She didn't add that she'd been on the site both before and since that time.

Luckily for Beckett, he didn't get a chance to embarrass her any further as their first course had arrived and they both turned their attention to the food. Although her ravioli was very good, as she'd predicted she got menu envy and was looking at his plate jealously. The tea-smoked duck breast looked divine.

"Do you want to try some of mine?" he asked as he held a piece of duck on the end of his fork up to her mouth, he'd caught her covetous gaze.

She jerked back slightly, not because she didn't want to taste it but because it struck her that it was very intimate thing to do. He was feeding her in front of a whole restaurant of people; that felt too much like PDA. "Sure, I'd love to, but maybe we could just swap plates. Less chance of making a mess."

Despite the excuse that she'd given, he'd understood exactly why she'd pulled back. Crap, don't push it, he told himself. This was really meant to be an apology, not an opportunity to woo her, so don't get ahead of yourself buddy. "Of course, my aim can be a little bit off especially after a few drinks," he deliberately injected some lightness into his voice. "You should have seen the mess I used to make when I had to feed Alexis as a toddler. The splatter went from wall to wall."

The rest of meal was taken up with him telling amusing anecdotes of Alexis growing up. Beckett was more than happy for him to carry the burden of the conversation; in fact she loved to hear his stories of family life. This side of him, the devoted parent, was what had first given her hope that her partner was more than just some arrogant playboy.

They were just finishing their main course when another guest interrupted them.

"Hi Rick, I thought I recognized you, hiding in the corner here." The voice belonged to a statuesque, dark haired woman with super model looks. If Beckett was the type of person to be intimidated by another woman's appearance then this woman would certainly have been scary.

"Hi Jasmine," Castle was regretting his playboy past; situations like this weren't going to impress Beckett in the least. "Jasmine, this is my friend Kate Beckett. Kate this Jasmine, she's an interior decorator and in fact she did my loft a few years ago."

"Yes it has been a while, hasn't it Rick? Did you lose my number or something?" Jasmine rudely ignored the introduction, she'd obviously dismissed the other woman as not being any competition at all.

"Umm, well I must have lost it when I got my new phone," he stammered, he threw an anxious look at Beckett. The way her eyes had narrowed was a good sign that she was close to losing her temper.

"Here's my card, my number is at the bottom. I'd love to catch up with you some time, maybe see what you've done with your apartment recently. Give me a call." She held out a beautifully embossed white card.

Becket was seeing green at the audacity of the other woman. It was clear from her manner that Jasmine and Castle had shared some fling in the past, and that she'd like to repeat it again. The gall of the woman, trying to pick him up when he was out to dinner with someone else. It may or may not be a date, Beckett still wasn't sure, but Jasmine didn't know that. It was just plain out rude what she was doing and Beckett had never been one to back down before a bully.

"I'm sorry, Rick's pretty busy at the moment," Beckett took the card from the other woman's hand and tossed it on the plate with the remains of her meal. "But I'll be sure to let you know if he gets any free time." She gave the other woman a big fake smile.

There wasn't much that Jasmine could do, so she wisely chose to retreat. "Too bad, maybe another time then," she said as her parting shot.

"What a bitch," Beckett didn't even wait for the other woman to be out of earshot before she said it. "She's like one of those predatory mean girls at high school who never grew out of that phase."

He didn't even try to contain the laughter that bubbled up, which promptly earned him a glare from Beckett.

"What are you laughing at Castle?" she demanded.

"That was the best put down that I've ever seen. Plus I've never had my virtue defended quite so effectively before, you're like my knight in shining armor. I might have to use that in my next book."

She glared at him for a minute before she had to join in the laughter. The image of him as some damsel in distress was pretty funny, she had to concede. "Ok, fair enough, it was funny but don't you dare use that in your book or I will shoot you."

"What, you don't want the world to know that you were jealous?" he teased her.

"I wasn't jealous," she lied. "I was just pissed off. She was being so blatantly rude, ignoring me totally. You can still take her card if you like." They both looked at the once white rectangle, now liberally smeared with the lemon butter sauce.

"No, I'll give that a miss. I wouldn't want to get on your bad side."

"And don't you forget it," she mock threatened him.

He laughed again at the face that she'd made and they were still laughing minutes later as their plates were cleared away.

"How were your meals? Would you like any coffees or a look at the dessert menu?" offered Denise as she balanced the plates on her arm.

"Everything was delicious and no thanks, I couldn't fit in another thing," Beckett said to the waitress before turning to look at Castle. "Don't let me stop you though, if you feel like having some."

"No, I'm full as well. Could you bring me the cheque please Denise? And if you wouldn't mind calling a car service for us as well, that would be great."

Although she couldn't eat anymore, Beckett was reluctant to let the evening end. Even with Jasmine's rudeness, it had been a really good night, and that was due to the man sitting opposite her. "Thank you Castle, I had a really nice time."

"You're welcome. Maybe we could do this again sometime," he said hopefully.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

**A/N: Sorry I didn't mean for the last chapter to be a cliff hanger**.** With most of my chapters I aim for them to be about 2000-2500 words long so that was just where it wanted to end. And for Greered, I know what you mean about not having the courage to write. I read lots of stories on this site before I decided to have a go. But that's the beauty of these anonymous sites, plus people are generally really kind in their reviews. The few criticisms that are given are meant to be constructive. So I hope that you'll give it go, I love reading what other people write.  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Smut warning. This chapter is pretty intense so go no further if you don't want to read smut.**

Chapter 13

Beckett played with the sleeve of her coat as the busy streets of New York flew by the car window. They were quickly approaching her apartment and he still hadn't made a move. She'd been expecting something all night; after all he'd practically been phone stalking her for a week. Earlier in the evening she'd thought of ways to rebuff him without damaging their friendship, but after that scene with Jasmine, her plans had completely changed.

She didn't want to see him with another woman. There, she'd admitted it to herself. He was a good looking guy; 'ruggedly handsome' was how he'd described himself. That, combined with his humor and his wealth, meant that there would always be other women who would be interested in him. She couldn't expect him to pine for her forever, one day he'd get sick of that and take up one of those other offers. The thought of that sat like a cold, hard lump in her chest.

So now she was sitting here, waiting for him to make a move but he wasn't obliging and she'd run out of time. The car pulled up to the curb in front of her apartment, and the driver had come around to open the door for her.

"Thanks again for tonight," she was delaying her exit, hoping that he would say something, but he seemed oblivious.

"It was my pleasure Beckett."

"So goodnight then, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, goodnight."

She couldn't delay any longer without looking stupid so she got out of the car. It took her three steps before she finally gave in and turned back. She didn't want him to go home, so taking a deep breath she went for it.

"Do you want to come up for a drink?" She concentrated very hard on sounding blasé, although it fooled no-one including the driver who was trying to smother a smile.

He knew that he looked like goldfish, sitting there with his mouth hanging open but he'd been surprised by the offer. He wanted to say yes but something was making him hesitate. It was the worry about how she was going to react tomorrow, he didn't want a repeat of last time. Frankly if that was what was going to happen then he'd say no, even if it was killing him. But he couldn't exactly ask her that, not when they had an audience. "Umm, well.. I…" it was not his most eloquent moment.

"It's ok, it's late. I should probably go to sleep soon anyway." She was so mortified that he'd rejected her in front of someone else that she turned and fled as soon as she could, ignoring him as he shouted her name.

Her hands were clumsy as she fumbled with her keys trying to open her front door. All she wanted to do was get inside her apartment and forget the last few minutes. Everything had been going so well up until that point.

"Kate, can we please talk?"

"Shit!" she dropped her keys in surprise. "Please Castle, can you just leave? Now is not a good time." There would never be a good time for this particular conversation. To avoid looking at him she bent over to pick up her keys but he beat her to it.

"I'm not leaving until you listen to what I have to say," he held her keys just out of her reach.

"Fine, just give me back my keys then," she glared at him as she held out her hand.

He dropped them into her open palm and waited patiently until she'd opened the door and they had both entered before he said anything. "I want you Kate. I want to be with you but …"

Of course there was a but, she thought.

"…but I don't want to pretend anymore. If we do anything, I'm not going to ignore it tomorrow and I don't want you to ignore it either. That's my condition." His hand reached up to gently cup her face. "So now it's all up to you. You have to decide what you want, and I'm hoping that you choose us."

She stood there frozen, it felt like she'd been backed into a corner. He'd laid out all his cards and now it was her turn. If she did this then she wouldn't be able to lie to herself tomorrow. She wouldn't be able to say that it happened because she was feeling vulnerable or because he'd pushed her into it. There was no wriggle room, or grey area so that she could back track on it later. That scared her, she didn't like it when there wasn't an escape hatch built in.

But there was another emotion warring with the fear that she felt. Want, it had been there all evening, and the warmth of his hand on her face was feeding it even more. It was hard to think of reasons not to take him up on his offer when the feel of his hand was reminding her of exactly how it had felt when he touched her in other, not so innocent places.

She moved in towards him, tilting her head back and leant up so that she could kiss him. Their lips had barely touched before he was pulling back, holding her at arms length.

"No, Kate, we're not going to do anything. Not until you say it out loud."

She bit back a moan of frustration. He was such a writer, needing actual words, couldn't he just tell from her actions what her decision was. But he was holding firm, and wouldn't let her come any closer while he waited for her answer.

"Fine Castle, let's not pretend anymore. Now, do I have to say anything else or can we just kiss already?"

His lips were back on hers even as she finished the sentence, his hands mapping out her body as if it was the first time that they had touched. Her hands were busy as well; the fingers of one hand entwined in his hair as she clutched at his head, while the other pressed his hips more firmly against hers.

He ground his groin against the apex of her thighs, letting her know exactly how ready he was for her. She gave a squeak of surprise as he boosted her up so that he was carrying her, but she quickly recovered, bringing her legs up to encircle his waist. Quick, purposeful strides took him across her lounge and they were in the bedroom before she even noticed it. The friction of his erection rubbing between her thighs with every step made her wet even as they continued to kiss.

It was only once they were by her bed that he let her legs slide down again so that she was standing on her own feet again. She reached up behind her to undo the zip on her dress but his hands batted hers away.

"No, it's my job to undress you tonight," he said but he didn't immediately put his words into action. Instead his hands slowly slid up her arms to her shoulders and then down again along her sides until they reached her breasts. There they paused briefly as he cupped her breasts, her dress was cut low enough that she felt the warmth of his thumbs as they played over her bare skin.

Too quickly his hands were on the move again and she moaned in frustration as her breasts were deprived of that delicious stimulation. They skimmed over her hips before circling around to clutch at her ass, his fingers kneading at the muscles there.

"Castle, hurry up and undress me then, or I swear I'm going to shoot you for real this time."

He chuckled at the all too familiar threat, it was good to know that she was as turned on by this as he was, but he still didn't hurry. He paused in the path that he'd been kissing along her collar bone. "Kate, there's no way that you could be hiding a gun under this dress, so I think that I'm fairly safe."

Threats of bodily harm didn't seem to be getting her any where so Kate tried a different tack. She put her hands on his shoulders, under the material of his jacket and eased it off. It forced him to let go of her briefly and she seized the opportunity, while his arms were still occupied, to undo his belt.

"I guess it must be my job to undress you then," she said as she wrestled with the catch and fly of his pants, her fingers inadvertently rubbing over his cock at the same time.

Even through the material that separated their skin he could barely control his response to that friction, it was enough of a provocation to spur him into action. His fingers had deftly unzipped her out of her dress and divested her of her bra before she could even blink.

"You're amazing," he said as he took in the sight of her standing there just dressed in her lacy panties.

She let him look his fill, not bothering to cover herself with her arms under his inspection. It made her feel powerful knowing that he found her desirable. That knowledge also made her feel giddy or maybe it was the fact that his fingers were now playing with her nipples, teasing them into hard little points.

It felt wonderful what he was doing to her but she wanted to feel his bare skin under her hands as well.

"I think one of us is overdressed for this occasion," she told him as her fingers slipped the buttons on his shirt free of their holes. He had to let go of her again, this time to slip his shirt off and then deal with his shoes, socks and pants. She sat down on the edge of her bed while he was doing this, so that she could reach down to undo the straps of her stilettos.

"No," his hands stopped her before she could undo the buckle. "I want you to leave them on. Please," he pleaded as he knelt down before her. "The sight of you naked, wearing only high heels is a fantasy of mine."

"Tell me what else is in this fantasy of yours," she asked him in a low whisper.

He pushed her knees apart slightly so that he could kneel between them. "First of all we have to get you naked." His thumbs hooked into the elastic of her underwear while his fingers circled her hips encouraging her to lift them so that he could slide the tiny scrap of material off.

With their relative positions she knew that he could see every detail of her body, could tell exactly how wet she was for him but again she didn't bother with the false modesty. Especially when his fingers started to play between her folds, distracting her from any thoughts of embarrassment by smearing some of her own moisture up over her clit.

He pushed her flat on her back, her stiletto-clad feet on the floor, as he placed moist kisses on her stomach and continued to rub her on her most sensitive spot. His mouth traced a path south until finally it was his tongue that laved over her clit instead of his fingers. Her hips jerked slightly as his fingers had found something else to do, sliding into her channel.

"Yes, yes, yes," she moaned as she rode his fingers. It didn't take long for her to peak, the double stimulation of his wicked mouth and fingers pushing over. She was still climaxing as his fingers slipped out.

He reached behind him to grab his pants and the condom that was resting in his wallet. Once his cock was sheathed, he wasted no time guiding it to her entrance and thrusting in.

"Oh my god, Rick!" she moaned. The way that his larger cock stretched her was enough to make her peak again.

He continued thrusting in and out, enjoying the extra sensation of her channel spasming around him as she moaned her approval, until finally his motion stuttered. He thrust in one final time and held himself still, deep inside her as he came. His body resting heavily on hers as he felt like his balls were being wrung dry.

When he was capable of coherent thought again he quickly dealt with the used condom before he came back to bed. He flicked her shoes off and pulled her up to lie beside him, she was so boneless in her satisfaction that she hadn't even moved from where she lay on the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arms around her securely as they drifted off to sleep, he was going to hold on tight and never let her go.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

She didn't even have to open her eyes to know exactly what he was doing. "You're watching me sleep, aren't you Castle?" she said in a sleepy voice.

"Yeah I am, it's what I do," he didn't add that he'd been watching her for quite some time now. He'd woken early, scared that he'd wake up alone again. His relief that she was still there had been profound and he'd been content to just lie there, watching her as she continued to snooze.

"Well stop it, it's creepy. Plus I've got 'bed hair', I'm not wearing any makeup and there's probably drool at the corner of my mouth. So please don't stare, just go back to sleep."

The silence stretched out long enough that he thought that she'd taken her own advice and was sleeping again but then she spoke again. "You're still staring aren't you?"

"How can you tell Kate? You haven't even opened your eyes yet."

"Castle, I'm a cop, I can sense these things. And the fact that you know that my eyes aren't open just confirms that you're still staring."

He didn't bother replying to her request but just latched onto something else that she'd said. "Do you think that you could call me Rick? Please? After all, we are in bed together."

"Oh for Pete's sake," she finally gave in and opened her eyes to look at him. "You're not going to let me go back to sleep again are you? And what's wrong with calling you Castle? It is your name after all, isn't it?"

"Yes, but Castle is what you call me out there," he gestured to the world beyond the bedroom door. "There's an image and persona attached to it. I've heard you say it so many times with a particular inflection in your voice when you're pissed off with me. And that's fine normally, but when it's just the two of us, maybe I could just be Rick?"

She understood the unspoken request that was hidden in what appeared to be a simple plea. It was a request for intimacy, not the physical kind, but emotional intimacy. In the two years that they had known each other she could count on one hand the number of times that she had called him Rick before. Most of those occasions had been when either of their lives had been endangered and the fear of losing him had been enough for her to allow him past her emotional barricades.

"Come on Kate, I've heard you call me Rick before. It's not that hard to say is it? R-I-C-K," he deliberately elongated the syllable of his name as if he was teaching her how to say it. "Rick rhymes with kick, and I've heard you say that lots of times, as in 'I'm going to kick your butt.' Go on, just try it out for me, pretty please."

"Ok, Rick. I'm going to say it so often that you're going to get sick of it. Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick."

"Never," he vowed as he leant over to place a gentle kiss on her lips. "I'm never going to get sick of hearing you call me that."

She was surprised by how tender she felt towards him as she watched a big grin split his face. It made her a little uneasy and to distract herself from that she pulled his head back down for a more passionate kiss.

"Rick, if you're not going to let me get back to sleep again, you can at least make it worth my while to wake up." The distraction worked, soon neither of them was capable of thought as they repeated last night's activities.

* * *

"So what are your plans for today?" he asked her as they cuddled in the afterglow, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on her back.

"Well some of us have jobs which require us to actually turn up to work," she glanced over at her alarm clock. There were only a few more minutes before it would go off anyway and she'd have to get out of bed if she wanted to make it to work in time.

"Why don't you call in sick?" he jokingly suggested. "I was hoping that we could spend the rest of the day in bed. It might be fun."

"Hmm, spend the rest of the day in bed huh?" she pretended to consider his offer. "I guess playing tiddlywinks might be fun, that was what you wanted to do in bed after all wasn't it Rick?" she teased him.

He gave her a little slap on the bottom. "Sure we could play that in between times, it'll give me a chance to recover."

She laughed at the innuendo in his voice, coupled with the wriggle of his eyebrows. The alarm chose that moment to start screeching and she reached over to turn it off. She rolled back and gave him a quick apologetic kiss on the cheek. "As fun as that sounds I have to get up now and have a shower before I go to work." She flung the covers back and got out of bed to face the day.

"Maybe I should join you in that shower then. It's our civic duty to be ecologically minded, and I wouldn't want you to waste water," the heat in his gaze as he stared at her naked body suggested that his offer wasn't completely playful.

"No," she said firmly, a bit surprised that he'd recovered so quickly from their last bout. "We don't have time for that, you're going to make me late." She skipped out of his reach even as he moved to grab her.

"Kate, you're such a stickler for the rules. You need to live a little," he gave her a big fake pout.

She laughed again as she picked clothes to wear for the day. "As if you calling me names is going to get me to change my mind; sticks and stones."

"Yeah, I know it was a long shot, but I had to give a try," he gave her a cheeky grin. "A shark's got to swim."

"What, like an ass has got to bray?" was her parting shot as she walked out of the bedroom. She made sure that she locked the bathroom door before she stepped into the shower, with Rick you just never knew if he wasn't kidding.

* * *

There was the heady aroma of coffee perfuming the air as she stepped out of the bathroom. She followed it to its origin in the kitchen where he sat half dressed, nursing a cup of coffee and reading the paper. He looked completely at home, lounging there in his boxers and shirt, his hair all ruffled.

"Your coffee is on the bench," he pointed over to the go cup.

"Thanks Rick, maybe I'll have to keep you on as the official coffee boy," she walked over to take her first sip of the day.

"I would have made breakfast as well but you've got nothing resembling food in your pantry or fridge. I'm sure that there are famine zones where they have more food than you do."

"Yeah, I really need to do some shopping and I would have gone yesterday evening but my plans got interrupted," she smiled to take any sting out of the comment. "I'll just grab something on the way into work. What are you going to do today?"

"I thought that I might join you at the station."

She looked pointedly at his less than appropriate attire, even if he was fully dressed people would guess that he hadn't made it home last night.

"Don't worry Kate, I was planning on going home first to change," he read her mind.

"Good. Rick, about work …" she hesitated to bring this up, things were going so well, but it needed to be discussed. "Can we just keep this to ourselves for now? This_ thing_ that we've got is so new and I don't want to have deal with any rumors and speculation at the moment."

"Ok, but there goes my plans for making out with you in Montgomery's office, I've had my eye on that desk of his for ages."

"I'm serious Rick. No touching, holding hands, or kissing at work. And you can't call me Kate either, the guys will know that something is up if you do."

"If it makes you feel better then I promise that I will do none of those things. I'm surprised that you're not going to tell Lanie though, I thought that girlfriends always shared that kind of information."

"Oh, Lanie already knows about us."

He almost spat out his mouthful of coffee in surprise. "How does she already know? It only happened last night. Did you call her when you were in the bathroom or something?"

"No, I mean she already knew about the last time. And no doubt, when she finds out that you're back now, she's going to grill me about last night until I confess. Don't worry. I don't give her _all_ the details," she laughed at the anxious face that he made. "I don't mind if a few close people know about us, but I just don't want everyone knowing our business. Like, if you wanted to tell your family then that would be ok."

"Oh good, I'll send an email to my second cousin, Mark, let him know the good news," he teased. "But seriously, I do want to tell Alexis about us. My mother on the other hand, not so much. She is going to gloat so much, she's been telling me for years now to kiss you."

"Believe me, I know how that feels. Lanie has been pushing me towards you since the beginning. Did you know that the guys at work had a pool going about when exactly we'd get together?"

"No, if I'd known about it then I would have made a bet myself. So who won?"

"They only took bets out to a year and half, and Kowalski won. She bet that we wouldn't be together by then. Lanie told me that most people thought that it would be within six months."

"Yeah, who would have thought that you could withstand my charms for quite this long," he gave her a roguish grin.

"Who would have thought that I'd give in, in a moment of insanity?" she countered.

He had to laugh, it was so typical of Kate. He would certainly never get a big ego around her, she so often firmly put him in his place. The fact that she didn't treat him like a celebrity was one of the things that he loved about her.

"Well do you think that you could cope with some intense Castle craziness tonight?"

"What did you have in mind?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing all that bad," he reassured her. "I just wanted to invite you over to my place for dinner; you, me and Alexis. And Mother of course if she's around."

"Isn't it a bit early to be having the 'meet the family' event."

"Come on Kate, don't tell me that you're scared. You've already met my family and I promise it will be casual. I'll make tacos, you can't get more casual then eating food with your fingers."

"Ok, but I'm sure that this is another moment of insanity," she allowed herself to be coaxed into it. Glancing down she caught sight of the time on her watch. "I've got to go now, or else I really will be late. See you at work then."

"Umm Kate, didn't you forget something?"

She glanced down at herself in confusion. She had her keys in one hand and her go cup of coffee in the other. She patted the pockets of her coat and felt the reassuring weight of her phone and purse. "No, I think I'm good to go."

He stood and walked over to give her a soft kiss on the lips. "Now, you're good to go."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Castle was whistling a jaunty tune as he stepped out of the lift, he was so focused on finding Kate that he was unprepared when Ryan and Esposito ambushed him. They tag teamed him and frog-marched him into one of the unused interview rooms before he was able to do much more than give a squeak of surprise.

Esposito gave him a little push which sent him stumbling into the room first.

"Easy guys!" Castle protested. "What's going on?" he turned to face them. It was an imposing sight, the two detectives stood with arms crossed over their chest, shoulder to shoulder and both giving him a hard stare. He wondered if this was how criminals felt when they were being interrogated by the pair.

"What's going on? Well funny that you should ask that, Castle, because that is exactly what we were going to ask you," Ryan spoke first.

"You disappeared for weeks and now you come back and ask _us_ what's going on! Even after I called you last week to tell you how upset Beckett was, you still took another week before you decided to show up again," Esposito chimed in.

"I can explain, truly," Castle held his hands up in a symbolic surrender. "I didn't mean to hurt her, and as soon as you called me I tried to get hold of her. In fact I was calling her several times a day but she was avoiding my calls."

"It's true, I did see her refuse to pick his calls up several times," Ryan turned to his partner, his stance softening a little as he conceded that Castle had made an effort.

"Exactly," Castle was nodding furiously, as he tried to emphasize that point. "And I couldn't come back any sooner because I was away with Alexis. I couldn't just fly back and leave her in a strange city by herself."

"Hmmm," Esposito made an unconvinced sound, he was the less forgiving of the two cops.

"And as soon as I got back yesterday I tracked Beckett down and apologized to her. She's forgiven me and we're all good now."

"Beckett may have forgiven you but you're still in the dog house with me. Hurt her again and I promise that they'll never find your body," Esposito warned him.

The door suddenly banged open behind them, the noise startling all three of them.

"What the hell are you guys doing in here?" Beckett stood framed by the doorway, she noted Esposito's confrontational stance and the slightly anxious look on Castle's face. "I've got uniforms bringing in a victim's wife for an interview, this room is meant to be free."

"Oh we were just welcoming Castle back and asking him how his holiday was, weren't we Castle?" Ryan lied.

"Yeah, and it's nice to back. Thanks guys," Castle covered for them.

"Fine, but you guys can have your little reunion party later. I need this room, so beat it."

"Sure thing boss," the two male detectives left the room but Esposito couldn't resist turning back, once he was out of Beckett's sight, and giving Castle a last warning. He brought up his hand and pointed two fingers at his own eyes and then turned them to point at Castle, the universal sign for 'I'll be watching you.'

Castle made as if he was going to follow the other two and leave the room as well but Beckett stopped him at the door. "No, not you Castle. You can stay for the interview." She glanced over her shoulder to make sure that they were alone before she said anything more. "Besides I don't know if it's safe for you to be out of my sight at the moment. The boys were roughing you up a bit weren't they?"

She smiled slightly at the thought. Although she was their boss, they were very protective of her and she could understand the feeling because she felt the same way about them.

He considered lying again, but he could tell that she already knew the truth. "I'll just say that if I go missing under suspicious circumstances anytime soon, then you really need to look closely at Esposito, with Ryan as an accomplice."

"I wouldn't worry about that too much Castle. Just stick close to me and by the end of today you guys will be joking and goofing off like nothing ever happened. Anyway let me tell you about the current case before the wife gets here," she opened the manila folder with her notes about their latest victim and sat down to brief him on the details.

* * *

"What's up Lanie? Your message said it was important," Beckett rushed into the morgue to find her friend doing paperwork in her office.

"You're damn right it's important. Javier told me that Castle's back. I want to know why I didn't hear it from you first."

"I almost sprained my ankle rushing over here for that?" Beckett asked incredulously. "You could have just called and ask me over the phone."

"Yes, I could have, but this way I get to question you and you can't escape. So hurry up and spill, as your best friend you owe me details."

"I should have known that Esposito would have told you, the only surprising thing is that you waited until this afternoon to quiz me about it."

"Girl, I would have dragged you down here five minutes after I found out but you got a reprieve because I was in a department meeting all morning when I got Javier's text. So stop with the delaying tactics, or else I can't be held responsible for whatever I might do."

"There's not a lot to tell really. Castle got back into town yesterday, he apologized and I forgave him," Kate deliberately kept it vague in order to torment her friend. After the stunt that Lanie had just pulled on her, she deserved it.

"And …" Lanie prompted her.

"And what?" Kate was playing it dumb.

"Arghhhh. Don't make me come over there and slap you, because I will," Lanie threatened her.

Kate laughed, it was so easy to get a rise out her friend. "Ok," she finally took pity on her. "Well he turned up unexpectedly at my place last night, and he was very humble about it in his apology and so I forgave him."

"What? Just like that? I mean, yes forgive him, but make him grovel a bit first."

"There was that whole week when I wasn't answering his calls," Kate pointed out. "Plus in hindsight, we were probably both a little bit at fault. I figured that he'd suffered enough."

"Fine," Lanie said grudgingly. "And then what happened?"

"He took me out to Le Bernardin for dinner."

"Oooh, fancy. I guess that makes up a little for the lack of groveling."

"Yeah it was really nice. Apart from when an old fling of his was hitting on him, of course."

"What she tried to pick him up when he was clearly out for dinner with you?"

"Yes, she was very bitchy about it all. I could have been invisible for all the attention that she paid me."

"I hope that you put her in her place, how rude!"

"Let's just say that she walked away very unhappy with me. But there is one thing that I have to thank her for, it really made my decision for me, I mean what I wanted from him. I was kidding myself that we were just friends. I didn't want him to go home with Jasmine or some other celebutant, so at the end of night I invited him up to my apartment for a drink and he ended up staying for coffee … the next morning!"

"I take it that you don't want to share anything more detailed about last night than that with me?" Lanie teased.

"No, you'll just have to use your imagination to fill in the blanks," there were some things that she didn't need to share with her friend.

"Believe me I'm going to, I've got a good imagination, and if there are still any blanks then I'll just read page 105 of _Heat Wave._ If you're not going to give me details at least you could tell me how he rates out of ten."

"What are we? Back in high school or something? I'm not going to pander to your curiosity."

"Kate! Just a crumb, that's all I'm asking for."

"Fine, the judges give him a ten for execution and an eleven for imagination," Kate admitted with a smirk on her face.

"Wow, I'm feeling mighty hot all of a sudden," Lanie fanned her face with her hand. "Good for you girl. So what's going to happen with you guys now. It's not going to be like the last time is it? You are going to give him a chance, aren't you?"

"Yeah, we're going to see what happens. In fact, I'm having dinner with him and his family tonight."

"You're nervous about it, aren't you?" Lanie could see the little signs that only someone with years of friendship with Kate would have picked up.

"Yeah, it's stupid. It's not like I've never met them before, but then I was just his friend, his partner. Now there's all this added pressure."

"I think that when you stop over-analyzing it, you'll find that it will be just as comfortable as it was before. They like you Kate, that isn't going to change overnight just because you're dating Castle now."

"Logically I know that, but for some stupid reason I'm still nervous. Even if they hated me, Martha and Alexis would be far too polite to ever let it show."

Lanie thought that she knew exactly why her friend was so nervous, when really she didn't have any reason to be. It was because, even though it was early in the relationship, Kate was already in love with the man, not that she would ever admit it to herself. Wisely, Lanie decided not to share that bit of insight with Kate, it would just make her bolt if she was confronted with it too early. Castle had the right idea, slowly tunnelling under her defences, so that Kate wasn't even aware exactly how far in she'd already allowed him.

Instead Lanie just reassured her. "It'll pass and you'll be fine. So where's writer boy, sorry I should say lover boy, at the moment?"

"He's gone home already. He wants to tell Alexis about us before dinner; make sure that she's ok with it. And can you please not call him that? At least not in public."

"What writer boy or _looooover boy_?" Lanie was getting a kick out of teasing Kate about the new relationship.

"Lover boy of course. We want to keep this private, at least for the moment."

"Can I at least tell Javier?" Lanie asked.

"Please don't, we don't want people at work treating us differently. Plus, Esposito is no good at keeping a secret, he's a terrible liar. I knew within a day when you guys got together, even though he tried to deny it."

"You tell me this big piece of news and then you expect me to keep it secret from even my boyfriend! Girl, you are lucky that I am such a good friend, because I'm going to keep your secret even though I'm bursting to tell somebody."

"Thanks Lanie, you really are a good friend," Kate meant it sincerely.

"And don't you forget it. You owe me big time! But seriously I'm happy for you guys. You deserve a little bit of joy and laughter, and Castle certainly is that." Lanie had noticed the change in her friend since Castle had come stumbling into Kate's life. She was quicker to smile and there was more light than shadows in her eyes now, and that was mainly due to the writer. With his crazy stories and wild imagination, Castle didn't take himself too seriously and he did the same for Kate, it was a change for the better.

"Kate, I've got a good feeling about this one."

Kate smiled "I do too."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"Hey Alexis, are you home?" Castle shouted out as he unlocked his front door.

"Hi Dad," came the reply.

He followed the sound of her voice into the kitchen where he found his daughter pouring herself a drink.

"Do you want some as well?" she offered, indicating the bottle of juice she was holding up.

"Yeah, thanks."

She grabbed another glass from the cabinet and poured him some. "You're home early Dad. I would have thought that after your long break that you'd be staying late at the police station."

"What can I say, the murderers must all be on vacation as well," he took a sip and thought about how he wanted to say it. "Actually I came home early because I wanted to have a talk to you before your grandmother got home. Come and have a seat."

"What's wrong Dad?" there was concern and confusion all over her face.

"No, no, nothing's wrong," he reassured her. "In fact I hope that you will think that something is very right.

"Huh?" she tilted her head as she puzzled over his words.

"I've invited Kate, Detective Beckett, to join us for dinner tonight. I hope that you didn't have other plans."

"No, that's cool," Alexis still wasn't quite sure why that warranted a sit-down conversation.

"You like her, don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah," she still wasn't sure where this conversation was going. "She was so cool to talk to when I wanted some advice about doing a semester abroad." Alexis really hadn't had that much interaction with the police detective but what she had seen she'd admired. Beckett was clearly very competent in her job, but still compassionate enough to help get a lost photo album back to a murder victim's daughter. Alexis saw her as a kind of role model.

"Good, I'm glad that you like her because she'll probably be spending quite a bit more time around here."

"Huh?" Alexis was still confused.

"Kate and I are dating."

Alexis jumped up and gave a squeal of delight as the light dawned and she understood exactly what her father was saying. She leapt over and gave him a big hug, "I'm so happy for you Dad."

He hugged her back, "I take it that this means that you approve."

"Of course I do." She'd known for a while now how he felt about his partner. At first she'd been surprised because Beckett wasn't the type of woman that he normally went for. Not that Castle introduced many of his dates to his daughter but Alexis wasn't stupid. She'd have to be blind not to know, and based on her own mother, Gina and the pictures of him in the paper; Alexis would guess that her Dad liked glamorous, society types. Detective Beckett was _sooo_ far removed from his typical New York celebutant.

"Thanks honey. I wanted to make sure that you were ok with this because I know that this will affect you as well," he'd been nervous about how she'd react to his news. The last time he'd introduced Alexis to someone he was dating was Gina, and it had been a rocky start between the two women. Admittedly Alexis had been nine at the time and used to having him all to herself, for a nine year old child to suddenly have to share the previously undivided attention of their solo parent was a big change.

"I am really happy for you Dad," she reiterated again. "Plus, now I don't have to worry about who's going to look after you when I go off to college," she teased him.

"Hey, just remember who will be paying for that fancy college education of yours," he growled in mock offense. "I can look after myself."

"Yes, that's what you said before you burnt off your eyebrows that last time," she smiled at him fondly.

"Hmm, true," he conceded. " Maybe you should supervise me while I get dinner ready then."

* * *

"Hello darlings, I need a drink before I expire" Martha greeted them as she made her dramatic entrance.

"Good evening Mother. That statement takes me back to my high school days, so many times I remember you saying exactly that," he pretended to be nostalgic at the memory.

"Haha, very funny Richard. I've had a very busy day visiting with the lawyers, the real estate agents and then interviewing teachers for my new acting school. Who would have thought that it was so complicated setting up a little school?"

"It sounds exhausting Gram," Alexis consoled her.

"Here you go," Castle placed a glass of wine in front of Martha. "We wouldn't want you to expire."

"What are you two up to?" Martha asked after taking a fortifying sip, there was a small mountain of grated cheese in front of Castle.

"We're having tacos for dinner, so Alexis and I are just getting the ingredients ready."

"Yes I can see that Richard. But what I meant was that it seems like quite a lot of food."

"Oh, Dad has invited Detective Beckett over for dinner," Alexis was buzzing with excitement but she decided to let her dad break the news.

"Oh," Martha managed to make put a world of insinuation into that one syllable, as she studied her son. "Just Kate, or did you invite the rest of the precinct as well?"

"Ok, maybe I went a little overboard with the catering," he admitted. "Will you be staying in to help us eat all this food then Mother?" He wasn't really sure that he wanted his mother to join them; she was bound to be smug once she found out about Kate and him. However she was going to find out sooner or later, so it might just be better to get it over and done with.

"Well now that I know that we have company, you couldn't shift me if you wanted to."

"If you're staying for dinner then I should probably tell you that Kate and I are seeing each other, so please get whatever smug remarks you need to make out of your system now. I don't want you to embarrass Kate when she gets here."

"Richard Castle, why is it that you always think the worst of me?"

"Maybe it's because I've learnt my lesson from history," he said _sotto voce._

"I heard that," Martha said. "And the only thing I was going to say is that I think you are both very lucky."

"Well thank you Mother."

"And it's about time," Martha couldn't resist adding that in as well.

"It is great news, isn't it Gram," said Alexis, playing the peacemaker, before her father could make a comeback remark.

The doorbell buzzed interrupting any further comments.

"I'll get it," Castle volunteered before anybody else could. As he expected, it was Kate who was standing on the other side of the door, she was wiping her palms down the front of her jeans in a nervous gesture. "Hey you," he said as he pulled her into the foyer and leant in to give her a quick kiss.

"Hi Rick. So are they home?" she asked in a whisper.

"Yes, Alexis and Mother are in the kitchen. Look there's no need to be nervous about this. I've already told them about us and they were both really positive about it. Plus I've already warned Mother to be on her best behavior and not embarrass you."

"That's easy for you to say now. Just remember this moment when I introduce you to my dad."

Castle smiled at what she had unintentionally revealed; Kate was already looking into the future where they were still going strong if she was even thinking about him meeting her dad. "That's different," he protested. "Fathers are meant to intimidate their daughter's boyfriends. I do it to Ashley, Alexis' boyfriend all the time."

"Pfft, shows how much you know Rick. That's nothing compared with meeting your boyfriend's mother. Mothers never think that their son's girlfriend is good enough for him."

He grabbed her hand and gave her an encouraging kiss on the back of it. "Well I promise that it won't be the situation here. Mother already thinks that you're far too good for me. I can guarantee that she likes you a lot more than she likes me. Come on, let's go and face the lions, shall we?" He gave her hand another squeeze, whether it was to encourage her or prevent her from running out the door was difficult to say.

"Hi Detective Beckett," Alexis greeted her as they entered into the kitchen.

"Hi Alexis, Martha. And please call me Kate, I'm not at work."

"Good evening Kate, can I offer you a drink. This merlot is not half bad." Martha indicated her own glass of wine.

"Thank you, I'd love some."

"Good, and I hope that you brought your appetite as well," Martha added, as she poured out a glass. "Richard went a bit over the top with the food."

Kate looked at the piles of food set out on the dining table, there seemed to be enough there to feed ten people, not just four. She caught his gaze, maybe despite his earlier reassuring words she hadn't been the only one who was nervous about tonight.

"It's always better to over-cater than under-cater. You can't have your guests going home hungry, that would be rude," he claimed.

"Well that would certainly never happen around you," Kate said, as she realized how true that was. He was always bringing her coffee and pastries in the morning, and takeaways when she'd missed dinner because she was still stuck at work. In a hundred little ways he'd been taking care of her for so long that she'd come to take it for granted.

"Come and sit down then, we might as well start making a dent in the piles then," he showed her to her seat, next to him and opposite Alexis. "It's make-your-own tacos, so you just take a bit of everything," he explained.

"That's because if we left it up to Dad, then there'd be a lot of meat and cheese and not a lot of anything else," Alexis added.

"Hey, I add salsa as well," he protested. "That's got to count as a vegetable."

"Dad has a ten-year-old's aversion to anything green," Alexis teased him.

"I think it may well have dated back to then," Martha joined in. "There was this one memorable occasion when he refused to eat his vegetables and ended up throwing them across the room."

"Mother, I was ten and it was boiled Brussels sprouts," he gave a little shudder at the memory. "It should be illegal to force anyone to eat those things, let alone a child."

"He tried to pretend that it was Maurice who had thrown them."

"Who was Maurice?" Kate turned to ask him.

"Oh we don't need to go there. Mother can you pass me the cheese please?" he said in an attempt to change the topic.

"Maurice was his imaginary friend, a purple, magic gnome," Martha was quite happy to divulge his childhood quirks.

"Thank you Mother, I think that you've managed to embarrass me sufficiently now."

"Oh no, please continue Martha. This is all good blackmail material," Kate sent him a big smirk. "Maybe I could use the threat of telling the boys about Maurice to get you to shut up at work sometimes."

"Darling if you think this is good, just wait until I show you Richard's naked baby photos. I can get you copies of them as well if you want."

Kate laughed at his pained expression, she certainly wasn't nervous anymore. The banter around a family dinner was refreshing, she hadn't really experienced it since her mother's death. His family was making her feel welcome and included in their little ritual and she settled in to enjoy the experience.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

It had been a tough day at work, they'd stayed late and all that Kate had to show for it was a headache that pulsed behind her eyeballs. The headache was nothing unusual, she often got them when she pushed herself too hard. Now she was home though, indulging in her favorite method for dealing with a work-induced headache; a nice, hot bath.

Music played softly in the background, the air was scented with the cherry, aromatherapy bath oil that she favored, and there was wine sitting just comfortably within reach on the bathroom cabinet. The water was as hot as she could stand it, as she slipped into the bath. It was a scene that could have played out a month ago, a year ago or even five years ago, but there was one significant difference tonight. As she relaxed backwards, letting the hot water soak in, her back met warm skin instead of the enamel of her old fashioned, claw footed bathtub.

"Hmmmm, Rick that feels really good," she closed her eyes as she enjoyed the sensation of his fingers digging into the knots in her neck that she hadn't been aware were even there up until now. Her head hung forward to allow him more access, a silent plea for him to continue. He took the hint, letting his hands move out laterally, following the slope of her shoulders down. His thumbs continually moving in small, firm circles, only pausing briefly to brush away a few wilted tendrils of hair that had managed to escape from her bun. His hands were like magic, after ten minutes she was so relaxed that she felt boneless.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asked.

"Yeah, much better in fact. You know if you ever feel like giving up your job as a writer I'd employ you as a masseuse."

"Good to know that I'll never want for gainful employment. The pay wouldn't be as good," Rick pretended to weigh up the pros and cons of her offer, "but I think that the side benefits would make up for that." One of his hands accidentally strayed a little to close to a ticklish spot and Kate jerked away in response.

"Hey, careful where you put those hands of yours, or else you might find that you'll be missing them."

It was like she was laying down a challenge, one he couldn't resist.

"Have I discovered Kate Beckett's weak spot, her Achilles heel?" his hands had gone into full tickling mode.

"No, no, Rick stop now!" she gasped out in between bursts of laughter. She squirmed this way and then that, trying to evade his fingers, the bath water sloshing over the sides of the tub to splatter all over the floor.

"No way I'm gonna stop. I bet you wish you had a safe word now," he laughed at her efforts to escape.

"Apples, apples, apples!"

"Hey, that's not fair, you can't use my safe word. You have to come up with your own," he said, but he did finally relent.

"You are in big trouble now buster, in fact you're a dead man walking," she warned him as soon as she got her breathe back but the way that she continued to smile gave lie to her threat.

"Will you forgive me if I make it up to you?" the insinuation in his voice told her exactly what he had in mind.

"And how were you planning on doing that?"

He pulled her back against him again so that she could feel his hardening erection. The way that she'd been squirming around above him had started to give his body ideas. "Let's just say that I have a gift for you. Seeing as I'm not wearing any pants at the moment, it can't be something that's in my pocket, so I must be really happy to see you." He nudged forward slightly so that his cock pressed into the small of her back.

"It seems to me that this _gift_ is as much for you as it is for me. How is doing _that_ going to make it up to me?" she questioned him, although at the same time she shifted slightly so that his erection now nestled between her legs, that way she could enjoy the feel of him rubbing there.

He gave a low chuckle, his breathe tickling her ear. "I said that I was going to make it up to you, I never said that I wasn't going to enjoy the process as well." His hands were now brushing down her back, tempting her now instead of tickling.

Her phone chose that moment to start ringing, ruining the mood. Dammit, he'd never been so tempted to pick up her phone and throw it across the room before, only the threat of what she might do to him in retaliation stopped him.

"Ignore it," Rick tried to pull her hand back as Kate reached for her ringing phone.

"I can't do that. I'm on call and it might be work, so be quiet for a second ok?" she told him before answering her phone, it was an unknown number but that didn't mean that it couldn't be work related. "Hi this is Kate Beckett."

"Hello darling, it's Martha. Martha Rodgers," she clarified as if Kate hadn't already recognized her voice before Martha had even said her name. Ever the actress, Martha had a way of saying things that even a simple greeting over the phone sounded like high drama. "I hope that I didn't catch you at a bad moment, did I?"

Kate turned back to look at Martha's son who was currently sharing the bathtub with her, tracing idle patterns on her back. It really wasn't something that you could tell a mother about her son. "No, not at all Martha," she lied, emphasizing the name so that Rick would know who was on the phone with her. "This is a pleasant surprise, how can I help you?"

"What does my mother want?" he mouthed silently.

Kate just shrugged in reply, she had no idea yet.

"Dinner went so well the other night that I was hoping that we could do just a girls' day out. Alexis and I are having a spa afternoon, not this weekend but next Saturday, and I was hoping that you might like to join us."

"I would love to but I will need to check my roster to make sure that I'm not working that day." Kate slapped away one of his roving hands that had strayed a little too close to her breasts, managing to splash herself with water in the process.

"Are you ok Kate, what was that sound?" Martha asked.

Kate glared at him, telling him silently to behave himself. "Oh, I'm just washing some dishes and accidentally splashed some of the water onto the floor," she lied, hoping that it sounded convincing enough that the other woman wouldn't suspect anything was up. "So I'll get back to you later, once I've checked about work, and let you know if I can make it. Bye Martha."

"Ok, bye Kate."

As soon as she hung up and put her phone back on the bathroom cabinet she gave him a good poke in the chest.

"Ouch, what was that for?" he complained.

"I was on the phone to _your mother_! It was not a good time to let your hands go roaming."

His face adopted an overly innocent expression, like a child who had caught with their hand in the cookie jar but still thinks that they can talk their way out of it. "You told me to be quiet while you were on the phone, you didn't say anything about keeping my hands to myself. You know that you need to be a lot more specific in your instructions when it comes to me."

She just rolled her eyes at that and he took that as a sign that she wasn't really angry.

"Come here," he said, pulling her back so that she resumed her previous position, using him as a back rest. "For an actress, my mother has horrible timing. So what was she calling you about?" Rick had only heard Kate's half of the conversation. "I hope it wasn't an invitation to that play that she's doing at the moment. If it is, then just say no. It's performance art and it's so abstract that no-one understands it, and that includes the director and cast."

"No, she was inviting me to a spa date with her and Alexis." Kate relaxed back into his embrace, one of his hands was resting on her stomach and she played with light dusting of hair on his other forearm as it rested on the edge of the tub.

"You know that you can always say no if you don't want to go," he was concerned that she felt obliged to go just because it was his family. "My mother isn't always very good at respecting boundaries and she can be pushy at times; believe me, I know. I don't want you to feel crowded in by my family."

"Hmmm, pushy and lack of respect for boundaries, I always wondered where you got that from," she teased him.

"Yes, ha, ha, very funny."

"It's sweet that you're concerned about that." She turned in his arms so that she could look back over her shoulder at him and stretched up to give him a kiss on the corner of the mouth. "But you don't have to worry. If I'm not on call for work then I'll be looking forward to a spa afternoon with your mother and daughter, it sounds like fun."

"If you're sure about it …"

"Yes, I am," she reassured him again. "I bet you're just trying to talk me out of it because you're concerned about what other embarrassing things Martha might tell me about you."

"It's true. My mother is probably just itching to regale you with '_Embarrassing moments from Richard Castle's life: Vol II the high school years_.' She couldn't just stop at the naked baby photos."

"Oooooh, but you were such an adorable baby," she cooed. "The little chubby cheeks and bald head, you were so cute."

"If I was cute back then, what am I now?" His hands had started to go exploring again.

"Seriously Rick, how can you even be in the mood for this now? I was just on the phone to your mother!"

"It's not my fault," he protested. "It's the company, I'm always in the mood around you."

His hands were now busy with her breasts, giving her nipples a playful pinch. She had to admit he had a good point because despite her words she was starting to get into the mood herself. She turned more fully, so that she was facing him and stretched up so that she could straddle him, her knees on either side of his hips.

Cupping his face in her hands, she leant forward to kiss him. "Hmmm, is that so? Well if you're in the mood, then I remember you promising to make something up to me. You'd better make it good because I'm not the forgiving type."

"It would be my pleasure," and then he showed her exactly how good he could be.

**A/N: As a complete aside and nothing to do with this story, I always get a little anxious at this time of year when shows get down to the season finale because you know that the writers will have something in there that will torment you because you won't find out the answer until next season. Arghhhhh. Here's hoping that this year's finale won't be as frustrating as last year's. On the other hand it will no doubt provide a lot of inspiration for creative minds on this website.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"You know it's not too late to back out now," Rick greeted her at the door. "You could just walk out now and I could tell my mother that you got called in to work unexpectedly."

"Stop fussing Rick, you're making it sound like I'm going to be flogged or something, when in fact I'm just spending an afternoon at a spa." Kate really couldn't understand what his concern was.

"That's what she wants you to think, she's very crafty, my Mother. The spa is just a pretext, when really what she really wants to do is pry information out of you. She would have tried to do it at that dinner but I was there so she knew it wouldn't work. But today you'll be on your own and that's when she'll pounce."

"Firstly, your mother is an actress, the way that you're talking anyone would assume that she's with the CIA or something. I'm pretty sure that there won't be any water boarding, unless of course getting a manicure is some new devious torture method that I haven't heard about before. And secondly, Alexis is going to be there as well, so I won't be on my own."

"Alexis is not going to be able to help you, she's no match for my mother."

Kate gave an exasperated sigh. "And you don't think that I'm a match for her either." She arched an eyebrow at him, daring him to deny it.

"Hello Kate darling, I thought I heard someone at the door," Martha swept down the steps into the lounge, interrupting whatever his reply would have been. "Richard, are you going to let the poor girl in or just keep her standing there in the door way? Really, I taught him much better manners than that," she told Kate.

"Too late now, don't say that I didn't try to warn you" he said in an undertone so that only Kate heard.

"Hi Martha," Kate decided to ignore him. "Thanks for inviting me, it's been ages since I've treated myself to an afternoon of pampering. I'm really looking forward to it."

"Well we are certainly going to be pampered today. I've booked us all in for a facial, massage, manicure and pedicure at the CeCi spa." Martha named a very upmarket establishment, which had prices to match.

Kate felt a moment of unease, the cost of the afternoon would probably be more than she earned in a week as a cop. She'd only planned to have maybe one or two treatments. He didn't flout his wealth in front of her very often, but times like this, reminded her that Rick and his family moved in different circles to the ones that she was used to.

Martha must have read the look that quickly flickered over Kate's face because she was quick to add, "Well since this was a freebie I thought that we should make the most of it."

"Freebie?" Kate asked.

Rick was also confused, he'd already given Martha his credit card to cover the cost of the afternoon, so what was his mother up to?

"Oh yes, didn't I tell you before? I got the spa package as a complimentary gift, they're always giving away things like that in the goodies bag that you get for attending awards ceremonies." Martha lied so convincingly that Kate didn't even question it and fortunately Rick just went along with it even though she could tell that he was still confused.

"Well thank you again for inviting me then. I'm sure that you know plenty of other people who would have jumped at the offer."

"Sure, but they'd all be dull," Martha assured her. "You're much more interesting company. Anyway let me just go and grab my bag and Alexis, she's on the phone to Ashley. You would think that those two hadn't spoken in a year and not just yesterday. Oh Alexis there you are." The teenager had just joined them.

"Sorry, Ashley wouldn't get off the phone, but I'm ready now."

The adults all smiled, no-one believed that Ashley was the only one at fault, but it was so cute to see young love that it was hard to begrudge them their happiness.

"Ok well you girls all have fun then. And Kate, are we still on for dinner afterwards?"

"Yeah Rick, see you later."

Kate relaxed back into her lounger, wrapped up in super soft robe, as the nail technician finished worked on her toenails. She didn't often get her feet done, mainly because there weren't a lot of opportunities for her to show them off. So today she'd picked a funky color for her nail polish, passion fruit purple, and hopefully tonight she'd get a chance to show it off to Rick. She stuck her feet up on the foot rest to let the nails dry off and took a sip of the champagne that was provided along with nibbles for their session.

"I love that color Kate," Martha complimented her. "Are you going to get your fingernails done in the same shade?"

"No, it's a bit too bold for me to wear at work. It's fine for my toes because no-one will see them at work but for fingernails, no. I'll probably just get a French polish finish on my hands."

Alexis opened one eye briefly to take a peek at the color, trying to avoid disturbing the facial mask that was applied to her face. "Oooh, that looks really good. I wish I could carry it off but with my coloring, those kinds of colors would just make me look washed out."

It was then that the masseuse, a very fit-looking young woman, came to take Alexis for her appointment. As soon as it was just the two older women who were left alone, Martha jumped straight into it.

"So how serious are you and Richard?"

"Wow, you don't believe in beating around the bush do you? Is this where you're going to ask me what my intentions are towards your son?" she tried to make a joke of it and avoid actually answering the question but Martha was having none of that. Kate was having second thoughts about her cavalier dismissal of Rick's concerns about her mother. Martha just stared at her silently until she finally cracked. "I think it's a bit early to be thinking about how serious we are. I mean, after all, we've only been dating for a few weeks."

"I don't buy that kiddo. You might have been dating for a short time but you've known each other for years now. Richard is down at that station almost every day. Look I know that it might seem like I'm just being pushy, but it's only because I care. Richard cultivates this image of this laid back playboy but really he can actually be quite sensitive, he was devastated when his marriages ended. I don't want to see him hurt again and I think he could be. Don't get me wrong, I think that you're good for him and I really hope that this works but I think you should know that he's serious about you, regardless of how you feel about him. So I'm hoping that you're going into this relationship with the same expectations as he is."

Kate took a few seconds to fully comprehend what Martha was saying. It seemed to be a lot of pressure for a relationship that was so new but Martha did have a point. It wasn't as if they were strangers who had recently met, they had a history going back a few years now.

"Look Martha, the truth is I don't know what to expect from this thing that we have going, but I didn't go into it lightly. Rick's been my friend and my partner and I would never risk losing that over something that was just a fling. Who knows where we'll be in six months or six years from now? The only thing that I can say is I would never deliberately hurt him."

"Well thank you for your honesty Kate. And I hope you don't mind a bit of advice from an interfering old woman. Just remember when things get rocky, and they're bound to get rocky at some stage, that he really does care about you and not to give up on him too easily."

"Ok, I promise to try and remember that." It felt a bit strange to be having this conversation with Martha, Kate didn't even like to think about this kind of stuff, let alone discuss it with someone else. Fortunately the beauty therapist joined them at that stage to give Kate her facial, and pre-empting any further private conversation.

Kate was very careful from that point on to avoid any alone time with Martha, but that was fairly easy. Between Alexis and the spa staff, there was always another person around to be a barrier.

"Have you heard about the new Egyptian exhibit that's opening at the Metropolitan museum Kate? They're having a fund raising dinner next Monday, so that donors can get an advance viewing of it."

"No I haven't Alexis. I love going to the Met but I don't often get the time to do it."

"I think that Dad's already got some tickets for it and I'm sure that he'll want to take you as his date."

"Actually, even if he asked me, I'd probably say no," Rick had obviously not gotten around to telling his family that they were trying to keep their relationship quiet for now. Kate didn't add anything further, hoping that they would just assume that she was busy working or something.

"Oh, why is that?" Martha asked.

Crap, now she had to be the one to explain it to them, he was so in trouble when she got her hands on him. "Rick and I are hoping to keep our relationship private for now. It's just that it's already complicated with him following me around at work, and if everybody knew about us then it would be even worse. Plus I don't really want to have to deal with the paparazzi."

Alexis was a bit stumped by this, no-one that her Dad had dated before had been shy about getting their photo snapped, but then again, she'd always known that Kate was different. "Well that's a shame that you'll miss out on it, but I understand about wanting to avoid the press, they can be quite intrusive."

That statement struck Kate powerfully as she realized that Alexis had probably had to deal with publicity for most of her life. It wasn't like Rick was Brangelina or something, but he had a certain level of notoriety. So while Alexis probably wasn't deliberately targeted, unlike the children of more famous people, she was still fair game if she happened to be with her dad. That was the reality of living in Rick's world. It might be unfair and intrusive, but if she stayed with him then eventually it would be something that she'd have to deal with.

Alexis must have picked up on her pensiveness but she was quick to reassure her. "Don't worry about though. You do get used to it and if they get really bad then Dad is good at dodging the paparazzi if necessary."

"No, I'm sure that it'll be fine," although Kate still had some lingering misgivings. "Anyway I should go and get changed back into my clothes; it looks like our time is up."

By the time that she came back into the room again Alexis was the only person there.

"Where's Martha? Is she still getting changed?"

"No, Gram is just at the front desk, settling the account," Alexis wasn't aware of the little lie that Martha had told Kate about their treatments being a complimentary gift.

"What?" Kate said sharply, she didn't like being lied to.

Alexis didn't note the tone however and just assumed that Kate was about to offer to pay her share. "Don't worry about it, Gram has Dad's credit card. Dad always pays for this kind of thing."

Rick might always pay for his mother and daughter but he had no right to just assume that she'd go along it like she was the _little woman_ or something. Kate realized that there was no point taking out her anger on the teenager, Alexis was obviously innocent in all of this. But she was going to have words with Richard Castle about this, and he might well be screaming his safe word by the time she was done with him.

**A/N: How awesome are those ads for the finale? I don't know if I'm more excited or anxious now.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Kate pushed him back into the wall as soon as his office door closed behind him, guaranteeing that their conversation would be relatively unheard by his family. "I'm not your frigging charity case Rick. Don't you dare treat me like one."

"Whoa, ease up there," he held his hands up in surrender. "I have no idea what you talking about."

She glared at him, did he really think that she was going to buy that? "Don't play dumb, that is not going to get you out of this."

"Kate, I swear I have no idea what you talking about. If we're going to be fighting about something then at least tell me what I'm meant to be apologizing for. All I know is that you went to spend the afternoon at the spa with Mother and Alexis and now you've come back ready to shoot me. Wait, did my mother say something to you? I knew I should have warned her to behave herself."

Kate took a step back, he seemed genuinely confused. Maybe he really didn't have a clue as to why she was so angry. "No it wasn't anything that Martha said, it was what you did that's the problem. You lied to me, don't ever do that again."

"What? I lied? How? Please Kate, just tell me, because I'm still confused."

"You lied when you told me that the spa was a freebie. I know that you paid for it. I don't need you to splash your money around, like I'm some poor cousin from the country. I might not earn as much as you do, but I can pay for myself."

"Oh," he wasn't sure what to say, because although he wasn't totally at fault, he wasn't exactly blameless either. He grabbed her hands which she'd been throwing around in her anger and held them between his own, hoping that she would calm down enough to at least listen to his explanation.

"Look, it wasn't something that I had planned," he said. At her skeptical look, he conceded, "Yes, I just assumed that I would pay for it all but I didn't plan to lie to you about it. It hadn't even occurred to me to talk to you about who was going to pay what, but my mother just came out with that lie that it was free. I was surprised that she said that, but I went along with it because it was easier to do that than confront her about it in front of you."

"Fine, maybe you didn't lie to me," her tone softened slightly as her anger partly abated. "But the fact is that you assumed that I was fine with you paying for me; I'm still angry about that."

"Come on Kate, I buy you coffee all the time, and you're fine with that."

"A couple of bucks for a cup of coffee is very different from spending several hundred dollars on an afternoon of pampering." She shook her head because she could tell that he still didn't get it. Maybe it was true that the rich are different because obviously the cost of a cup of coffee and the equivalent of a week's pay for her was all the same to him.

"What about the coffee machine that I bought for the break-room? You were ok with that and it cost more than a few bucks."

"You bought that for the whole homicide division, not just me," she said, although she knew it wasn't completely true. Yes the whole department got to use that machine but he couldn't care less about that, he'd bought it so _she_'d have decent coffee. "Plus did you notice that I didn't use that machine for a month after it was installed." She'd been too proud and stubborn to use his gift, instead she'd persisted with the bitter, burnt piss that masqueraded as cop coffee.

"When you throw your money around like that Rick, it looks like you're lording it over us peasants. It's like you don't think that we're equals or something."

He was taken aback, finally understanding some of her insecurity. "I have never thought I was superior to you, if anything the opposite is true," he gave a little laugh at the irony of it. "Do you want to know why I sometimes do the big, flashy, expensive gestures? It's because I can't compete with you." She frowned because she had no idea where he was going with this.

"You are smart, and brave and beautiful. And from the very first time that we met, you made it a point to let me know that you weren't impressed by me. You didn't think much of my reputation, my connections or my theories and you certainly didn't act like you were attracted to me. You turned me down so often it crushed my ego. So that just left my money, as the only thing that I had to impress you with."

"Rick, I'm not interested in your money and you can't tell me that you're still trying to impress me with your wealth, not after all this time."

No, I'm not Kate. But I just want you to understand that I don't buy you things because I pity you. It's never been about charity, I apologize that it made you feel that way." He paused for a second, thinking about how he wanted to phrase what he was about to say so that she wouldn't be offended again.

"I have money, more than some people and less than others. But certainly more than enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life. You can't take it with you when you go, so it gives me pleasure to spend it on the people that I care about and I care about you," he was careful to avoid saying the l-word, although it would have been true.

Kate sighed, his apology was sincere and half her anger had been because of a misconception on her part anyway. But even if he didn't think of her as a charity case there still had to be limits, she didn't feel right with him lavishing this kind of money on her.

"Ok Rick, I forgive you but you can't keep buying me things like this, it makes me feel like I'm a gold digger or something. We need some rules." Kate liked rules, she liked setting boundaries, it made her world a much safer place if she knew exactly where she stood.

"Ok," he was quick to agree with her. Rick could work with rules; sometimes that meant skirting around them or bending them a bit but he could work with rules.

"Don't lie to me about this kind of stuff, even if the lie starts with someone else, I need you to be honest with me."

"I promise," he held his hand up as if pledging an oath.

"If something costs more than ten dollars, then ask me if I want to split the bill."

"Oh come on Kate, make fifty bucks the limit, you can't even get lunch for one person for ten bucks," he wheedled, he felt confident enough that he was out of the dog house to start bargaining. "Otherwise I'll be running to ask your permission every ten seconds. And what about gifts?"

"Ok, fifty bucks then. And you can only buy me gifts on special occasions, like birthdays, or Christmas. And sometimes I want to pay for dinner and you're not allowed to argue about it. You have to promise to just smile nicely and suck it up."

"Ok Kate, you can pay for dinner tonight then if it makes you feel better. So are we good?" he pulled her in for a hug and she didn't try to hold back.

"Yeah, we're good Rick." She kissed him to show that she wasn't still mad.

"Do you know that this was our first argument as a couple? Does that count as a special occasion? Because I might want to get you something to mark the event."

"You want to buy me a present because we had a fight? We argue all the time, at this rate, you'll be buying me a present every day," she rolled her eyes to let him know what she thought of his attempt to circumnavigate her rules.

"No, not to mark the fight but for the awesome makeup sex that we're going to have tonight. But first I have to go swimming in my piles of money first, makes me feel like Uncle Scrooge," he teased her.

"Who says that we're having sex tonight? Maybe I'm spending this evening with my other sugar daddy?" she gave him back as much as he dished out to her.

"In that case, maybe I should busy now before you have to run off to your other lover. I want to take advantage of the fact that you're all shiny, buffed and relaxed from your afternoon at the spa," his hands wandered down to cup her ass and pull her closer to him.

For a minute there Kate was tempted to let him carry through on his promise of awesome makeup sex but then reality intruded. "No Rick, we can't do that here," she flickered his hands away. "Your mother and daughter are on the other side of that door and they probably heard us arguing. They'll be waiting to see us emerge and I don't want to have to face them after we've just done it."

"Mmmm Kate," he coaxed as he continued to kiss her bottom lip. "I think that they know that we have S-E-X." He was found it funny that she was prudish about this when she could be so adventurous in bed.

"It's one thing for them to know it as an abstract thing, it is a completely different thing to have to face them when they know that we've just done it in the next room. I couldn't face your mother without blushing and it would probably scar Alexis for life." She resolutely avoided his kisses; she knew that her will was weakening and it wouldn't take much more convincing on his part for them to end up naked on his desk.

"Ok," he sighed in disappointment, not realizing how close she'd been to giving in. "But you have to make it up to me with awesome makeup sex tonight, your sugar daddy will just have to take a rain-check. Let's go and face my family then."

As she'd predicted Martha and Alexis were sitting in the lounge waiting for them and trying not to be too obvious about it.

"Don't worry, the fireworks are over," he said.

Alexis just pretended to not know what he was talking about, while Martha was clearly dying to ask some questions. Kate gave him a little elbow to the stomach, she didn't want him to say any more, in fact if it had been up to her he wouldn't have said anything in the first place. She would have been happier to pretend that they were just talking and not arguing in his office.

"Careful with the elbows, you might hit something important and that would ruin my plans for tonight," he whispered in Kate's ear as he hugged her from behind, carefully pinned her arms by her side to avoid any further retaliation. But he did take the hint and changed the subject, not giving Martha a chance to jump in with her two cents worth. "I must say that all you ladies look particularly beautiful after your visit to the spa. Mother, you don't look a day over fifty."

As he expected, the half compliment was enough to sidetrack Martha from whatever she'd been about to say.

"I think that you meant to say 'not a day over thirty', Richard."

"You look good but not that good, after all they're just beauticians, not miracle workers," he teased her.

Martha rose to the bait with an instant quip but he wasn't really paying attention to his mother. He was too caught up in the smile that Kate had sent his way, she knew that he was distracting Martha. That smile seemed to promise that he might just get his makeup sex after all.

**A/N: what an awesome finale! Now I just have to chew my nails for 4 months. Here's hoping that Castle follows up on his declaration of love and it's not pushed back into the closet again.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

What made Beckett such a good homicide detective was her ability to see each victim as a unique person and not just another statistic. She liked to think that she worked just as hard to find the murderer of the elderly victim of a burglary gone wrong as she did for the drug dealer killed by a rival. However, even she had to admit that some cases affected her a little more than others, and this was one of those.

Mercedes Williams hadn't had much of a chance, from birth she'd been destined for a bad end. The product of an abusive relationship between a junkie mother and petty criminal father, it wasn't surprising that Mercedes had ended up before the courts dozens of times before she'd even hit the age of ten.

Her life had tracked along the same downward path that you would expect from such an unfortunate start. Dropped out of school at fourteen, living with a violent man who'd come from the same kind of background as Mercedes, pregnant at sixteen; it looked like she was repeating the same mistakes as the previous generation before her.

But then something had happened, something unexpected. Maybe Mercedes had gotten fed up with doing what the world expected of her, maybe it was the jolt of realizing that she was about to be responsible for not only her own life but her baby's as well. Whatever the reason was, no-one would ever know now. What was sure was that Mercedes had picked her life up and had been trying to do something about it.

She'd moved into a women's shelter, found a job at the local supermarket and was taking night classes to finish off her high school diploma. Who could say if she would have made it? Beckett liked to think that it was possible for people to change their lives. But Mercedes had been killed and now they'd never know what she might have achieved if she'd had the chance.

Beckett took a breath, she went over the details of the case one last time in her mind as she prepared to brief the small group of cops (and one writer) who were crowded into one of the small conference rooms with her.

"This is our suspect, Tyrone Jenkins." She pointed to the picture on the murder board. "He was Ms Williams' ex-boyfriend. He has a record of violent assaults and the manager of the shelter saw him accosting Williams outside the building five days ago. They were heard arguing and it seems like he thought that she owed him money. Two days later a man matching his description was seen leaving the crime scene, so he's our best suspect for her murder."

"He has known gang connections and is likely to be armed. We've had problems tracking him down, until this morning. A transit cop thought that he spotted him entering his brother's apartment building this morning. We've had eyes on that place since and as far as we can tell he's still there. So the task is to extract him without anyone getting hurt."

"This is the brother, Shakeel Jenkins." Beckett indicated the other picture on the board; the brothers shared a very striking resemblance. "We don't know if he is also in the building but it is highly likely. O'Neil and Lipska will cover the back alley. Esposito, Ryan and I will take the front. This is the layout of the apartment, the door enters into a hallway with rooms coming off both sides of it. I'll take point and cover the front. Esposito, you're next and take the right side, Ryan will be last and take the left. Is everybody clear on the plan?"

There were nods and okays as the other cops copied down the floor plan and memorized the faces of the men.

"Any questions at all?" she wanted to make sure that there would be no mistakes today.

No-one spoke up at all.

"Good. Just remember both men are very dangerous and are likely to be armed. I don't want anyone taking any chances today. Good luck everyone."

* * *

Rick sat with nervous energy in the car as they waited for the others to get there. He glanced over at Kate. If she was feeling nervous at all then he couldn't tell it, she seemed to have gone into almost a meditative trance. He played with the velcro straps of his bullet proof vest, he couldn't help it.

"Stop it Rick," she told him. "That's annoying."

"Sorry, I'm just nervous. Don't you get nervous sometimes, knowing that someone might be taking a shot at you soon?"

"I'm a cop Rick. Getting shot at is a risk with the job and it can happen at anytime, not just moments like this. If I got nervous every time there was a possibility of getting hurt then I'd be a complete wreck all the time. Plus you don't have anything to be nervous about because you're not coming in with us."

"What? Kate, no!" he protested. "Who'll be looking out for you if I'm not there?"

"That's Ryan and Esposito's job. Look Rick, you don't even have a gun and if you come in with me I'll be worried about you the whole time. That'll just distract me from the job. This one is too dangerous, I want you to promise me that you'll wait in the car. Please?"

"You're telling me that it's too dangerous for me to be there, so I should just wait here while you risk your life?" he asked rhetorically.

"I'm a cop," she repeated it again. "Taking that risk is part of the job. You already knew that about me and the fact that we're sleeping together doesn't change it."

He wanted to protest, they were doing more than just sleeping together but she did have a point. Even if they'd been married for years, this wouldn't change. So if his presence was going to put her at greater risk then he would stay put and bite his tongue, even if he still didn't like it.

"Ok, I'll stay in the car. But you come back to me safe, ok?"

Life had taught her that no-one could promise that, bad things happened to people all the time, so she wouldn't lie to him. Instead all she said was, "I'll try." And that really was the best that she could do. He looked so unhappy with it all that she wanted to lean over and kiss him, a bit of reassurance for him (and for herself as well, she could admit it) but it was too public and they were expecting other cops to turn up any minute now. So instead she reached over and grabbed his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. He held onto her for a moment longer, savoring her touch for as long as possible before she had to go.

She gave him one last smile as she got out of the car and then it was like a mask had slid into place. He could almost physically see Detective Beckett taking over from Kate, so that there was only the cop left behind. Three years ago when they had met he'd only seen Detective Beckett, it had taken a while to see the woman behind the shield, and while he admired Detective Beckett, he loved Kate.

Beckett was now totally focused on the task at hand, she couldn't spare any more thoughts for her partner who sat worrying about her in the car. She unclipped her holster and pulled her service piece out, barrel pointed downwards as she thumbed the safety off. There was only silence from Esposito and Ryan as they all entered the building, there was no need to say anything really, they all knew what their roles were.

She took the stairs quickly, two at a time as they made their way up to the second floor. Her eyes were constantly on the move, evaluating possible threats as they went, doorways and alcoves where innocent bystanders or enemies could be hidden. They all paused at the front door of the apartment, spread out on either side of the front door, standing right in front would have just been asking to be shot at.

"Tyrone Jenkins, this is the NYPD. We have a warrant for your arrest," she shouted out the standard department warning. It always seems stupid to her, giving away the element of surprise, it just gave the bad guys another advantage. But it was protocol, a sop to the liberals who would argue that the bad guys needed a chance to give themselves up peacefully. She'd never seen it happen, if someone was going to take a shot at you then they would, they never heard the warning and went 'oh, it's the police, I'd better put down my gun then.'

They waited a second, no response. She nodded at Ryan who was carrying the ram, one hard whack with that thing and the door was down, he quickly discarded it as he grabbed his gun and took his place in line.

The sound of breaking glass came from the back of the apartment but the team couldn't rush it. They worked, clearing the rooms methodically just like it was a drill, there was no point in stumbling ahead only to be shot by a perp who'd come up to them from behind.

"Shit, he's gone out the fire escape," Beckett yelled as she looked out the broken window to the landing outside it. She looked down trying to spot a fleeing figure but couldn't see anything, hopefully the guys watching the back might still pick him up though. It was the sound of a boot scrapping against brick work that made her look up, just in time to see Jenkins making a desperate leap over to the next building. Maybe it was the adrenaline that helped him, but he could have been in the Olympics looking at the distance that he covered and she knew that there was no chance that she could follow him that way.

Turning, she quickly raced back out of the apartment, headed for the street below. If Jenkins was smart and went out the front of the other building then he might just escape, they didn't have anyone detailed to watch the building next door.

Rick was playing with the locks on the car when he noted a blur of movement from the front of the building. It didn't take long for him to recognize Kate as she ran in the opposite direction to him. It didn't make any sense; where was she headed? He looked up and down the street trying to figure out what was going on. That was when he spotted a figure getting out of a car that had just pulled up behind him. Crap, it was the brother.

He looked ahead again, about to shout out a warning to Kate but as she'd broken into a full out sprint after their main suspect. Shakeel was reaching into his coat, pulling out a pistol and aiming at the Kate. Rick reacted automatically, flinging open his car door so that it slammed into Shakeel's side.

It was enough to foul his aim and the shot went wide but not enough to put him down. Shakeel took a stumbling step to the side as he refocused his attention on this new threat. Rick dived out of the car, trying to tackle him around the knees, but all that he got was a boot to the head for his efforts. He was still dizzy from the blow when another shot rang out, it sounded awfully close. Instinctively he shrank back, covering his head with his arms, expecting the pain of being hit to explode any second now. It took a few seconds before he realized that he was relatively unhurt.

Lifting his head hesitantly he looked up to see exactly what had happened. Kate was standing in a shooting stance fifty yards away, and facing him, it was obvious that she'd gotten a few shots off and the moan coming from the man down on the ground next to him explained who the target was.

"Are you ok Castle?" Ryan was half out of breath from running over and was holding out a hand to help him up. Esposito stood over the downed man, keeping his gun trained on him to discourage him from doing anything stupid.

"Yeah, I'm ok," Rick grabbed Ryan's hand and pulled himself up, experiencing an immediate dizzy spell from getting up too quickly. "Wow, maybe I spoke too soon." He was surprised to find his hand was wet with blood when he brought it up to brace his head. "I might just sit down," he backed up so that he could seat himself down in the car again.

"Looks like you managed to get a bit of a gash there Rambo," Esposito glanced over briefly.

"Here, let me look at it," Kate had joined the little group by now and was leaning over to inspect the wound.

"Ouch, that hurts," he protested as her searching fingers parted his hair to reveal the extent of his injuries.

"Stop being such a baby Castle." There was no teasing in her tone; if anything he'd say that she almost sounded angry with him. "It looks like it's just a scalp laceration. You'll need to keep pressure on it though, it's still bleeding." She pulled out a box of tissues from the glove compartment of the car and gave him a handful. Rick could tell that there was something wrong, she wouldn't meet his eyes at all.

"Ambulance is on it's way for our friend here," Ryan nodded at Shakeel who was still on the ground. "They can check out Castle at the same time."

"Good," was Beckett's curt reply and then she stalked away, mumbling something about checking in with O'Neil and Lipska to see if they'd caught sight of Tyrone at all. Rick was dying to ask her what the problem was but it was clear that she wasn't going to say anymore while they still had company so he bided his time, waiting to find out what was chewing her ass.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

With the wounded suspect, the paramedics, and police guard it would have been crowded in the back of the ambulance so Castle had volunteered to catch a ride to the hospital with Beckett instead. After fifteen minutes of the silent treatment he was starting to wonder if it wouldn't have been more comfortable in the ambulance after all.

All his attempts to engage her in conversation had been met with monosyllable answers, so he'd given up after the first ten minutes. Beckett was staring straight ahead, all of her concentration seemingly on the traffic in front of them. He would have to be totally insensitive not to pick up on the fact that she was angry, but what she was angry about was a complete mystery.

His hand strayed up to play with the field dressing that one of the medics had applied to his scalp wound. The crepe bandages wrapped around his head made him look like he had escaped from some Egyptian mummy film. Although it hurt he couldn't help but play with the dressing, kind of like a little kid who keeps worrying at a loose tooth. "Ow, that still hurts."

Normally this kind of foolishness would have earned him some comment from her along the lines of 'leave it alone' or 'stop being such a baby' but this time, nothing. She didn't even bother to turn her head to look at him.

Rick knew that it would probably be better all round if he just let it lie but he couldn't resist giving it one more try. "Look Kate, I understand if you're upset because we didn't manage to nab Tyrone but there'll be other chances."

"I'm not upset about that," her wall cracked enough that she answered him in a full sentence. Admittedly her tone had been flat throughout but he still felt like he'd achieved a minor victory, she'd been the first to blink.

"Aha, but you are upset about something though," he pounced on the way she'd phrased her answer, like the writer that he was. "Just tell me what's bothering you," he pleaded.

"No," was her curt reply. Rick wasn't sure if it meant no she wasn't upset or no she wasn't going to tell him. He would have quizzed her further but they'd finally reached the hospital. Beckett pulled up into the designated parking space for on-duty cops next to the ambulance bay.

A flash of her badge managed to get them past the triage area where the average person waited with varying degrees of patience for medical care. At the central hub area she corralled a harried looking doctor who seemed to be in charge.

"Hi, I'm Detective Beckett," she flashed her badge again, "and this is Richard Castle. Can you help me? I'm trying to find out what's happened with my suspect, Shakeel Jenkins. Black male with a GSW to the shoulder, the ambulance guys would have brought him in just a few minutes ago."

"He's over in trauma room one," Dr Abbas, according to her name tag, pointed over to one of the curtained areas. "They're taking xrays at the moment. It's nothing serious but it looks like he'll probably need surgery. There's an entry wound but no exit wound, so my guess is that the surgeons will want to fish out the bullet."

"Damn, that will mean an overnight stay at least, won't it?"

"Yeah, sorry. You'll have to wait until tomorrow to talk to him, unless it's something very important?"

"No, thanks doc."

"You're welcome. Your partner here looks like he could do with some medical attention himself."

"It's just a scalp wound," Castle explained. "The paramedic put a dressing on it for me but he said that it would need some stitches."

"Ok, one of our interns will be able to deal with that for you," Dr Abbas glanced at the ER whiteboard. "Looks like cubicle four is free at the moment, why don't you take a seat over there and someone will be over shortly to stitch that up for you."

He turned to walk over in the direction the doctor has pointed, expecting Kate to follow him but she made no move to do so. He glanced back over his shoulder at her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just going to talk to the uniform who came in the ambulance with Jenkins, I need to organize someone to keep an overnight guard on him until they discharge him and we can get him into the cells at the station."

"Oh, ok. I'll see you after they're done with me." He was talking to thin air, she hadn't even bothered to wait for his reply before she'd turned to leave. He shook his head in confusion, before he remembered that doing so would only cause more pain. Ouch, this was not his day. Something was up with Kate, but he'd have to wait until later in order to wrestle the answer out of her.

* * *

Very keen, very thorough, and very slow would be how Castle would describe young Dr Mueller. He'd wanted to do a full neuro exam as well as a CT scan, despite the fact that Castle kept telling him that he hadn't lost consciousness. No doubt the stitches were perfect, Castle didn't really know because he couldn't see that part of his head (at least not without the help of two mirrors), but they had taken a frustrating forty minutes.

Finally he'd put his foot down and refused to have the scan, which had earned him a lecture from the doctor about possible delayed cranial hemorrhages, coma and death. He'd only been able to escape after signing an indemnity waiver saying that he'd self-discharged against medical advice.

He wasn't really too worried about that, the blow hadn't knocked him out and, as people kept telling him, he had a pretty hard head. What he was worried about was the fact that he hadn't seen Kate at all since she'd disappeared. Maybe she'd ditched him and driven back to the station, it would be out of character for her but she'd been acting oddly ever since he'd gotten hit.

His fears proved unfounded when he tracked her down to her car which was still parked in the same spot.

"…still at the hospital. Looks like Shakeel Jenkins will be fit for discharge tomorrow so I'll interview him then. You and Esposito should head home after you're done with the paper work. I'll see you guys tomorrow." She hung up her phone as he got into the front passenger's seat.

"Sorry it took so long, the doctor wanted to do all these extra tests."

"Hmm." Enough of a reply to say that she'd heard him, but not enough to imply that she was interested in hearing any more details. She started the car up and pulled out of the parking bay.

"So are we headed back to the station then?"

"No, you're going home Castle."

Ok, she was back to calling him Castle again so obviously he must have angered her somehow.

"Kate if you're mad at me, at least tell me why."

"No, leave it alone Castle. I'm not doing this now."

"That's not fair. I deserve to know why you're so pissed off with me."

"If you're so dumb that you can't work out why I'm mad at you then you don't deserve to know crap!"

He was taken aback by both her words and the vehemence of her tone. His own emotions were swinging between confusion and a rising anger at the unreasonableness of her actions. He took a deep breath and counted to ten, and then counted to ten again. It didn't help. Kate was retreating into old patterns, trying to lock him out rather than dealing with whatever the issue was. He might have let her do that in the past, but now it was different. If their relationship was going to get any further then she would have to learn to be more open with him. He could deal with her anger and her prickliness but he wasn't going to accept this.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, both of them wrapped up in their own thoughts. She still hadn't said anything further when she pulled up into a parking spot near his building.

He sat there for a moment, making no move to get out, unsure of what to say. They needed to have it out but this was probably not the place to do it, and he knew that he had no chance of dragging her off somewhere private to talk, she'd kick his butt for sure. He'd have to do it by deception instead of force.

"See you later then," he opened the door and got out. As he stepped onto the curb he faked a dive that a soccer player would be proud of.

"Rick! Are you ok?" Her concern was enough to push back the anger that she'd been displaying up until now.

He made a show of leaning heavily onto the car door. "No, I feel really lightheaded at the moment."

She was out of the car and by his side in a second, her arm snaking around his waist to support him. "Maybe you should get sit down in the car and I'll take you back to the hospital. It was a pretty hard knock that you took."

"No, no. I think that I'll be ok. But maybe you could help me get inside?" He draped one of his arms around her shoulders and leant so that she took some of his weight, effectively trapping her in. Kate didn't look all that convinced that this was a good idea but he just started walking, giving her no other options. He kept up the act all the way into his apartment.

"Martha! Alexis! Is anyone home?" Kate called out as she manoeuvred him over to the couch, hoping that there would be someone else around to help her out with him. Only silence answered her. "Rick I think you should lie down. Do you want some water, or some pain-killers?"

"No, I want you to tell me why you're so angry," he dropped the pretence, moving quickly to put himself between her and the door. He wasn't going to let her leave until they'd resolved this.

Like that, concern gave way to anger again as she realized that she'd been duped. "You bastard, get out of my way before I hurt you."

"No, you can punch me if you like but I'm not letting you leave until we talk about this like adults." She could take him in a fight, easily, but he was betting on the fact that she didn't really want to hurt him….probably.

"Fine. Let's talk like adults then shall we?" sarcasm dripped from every word that she said. "Shall we talk about how you promised me that you would stay in the car and then broke that promise? Is that adult enough for you?"

"My god Kate, you're angry about that? Yes I promised but he was about to shoot you, what did you want me to do? Just sit there?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I wanted you to do. You could have gotten yourself killed. The guy had a gun! It says 'Police' on my vest, do you understand what that means? It means that I am trained for those kinds of situations. You are NOT!"

"Here's a newsflash for you. You're a cop, NOT a superhero. Bullets aren't going to bounce off you."

She continued talking right over the top of him. "What does it say on your vest Rick?"

He was getting pretty angry himself now. "Is that what this fight is about? Because I'm not a cop?" He was practically shouting by now. "I might not be a cop but I saved your life! If it had been Ryan or Esposito who'd tackled that guy you wouldn't be angry at them."

"Yes, but I'm not in love with them!" she shouted back at him. There was a split second as she realized what she'd said, and then horror flooded her face.

**A/N: Sorry it's been while. I've been busy but the next chapter is half written so hopefully it won't be as long to wait for the next one.**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Richard Castle had dreamt of various scenarios in which Kate Beckett told him that she loved him. After a romantic moonlight walk on the beach, over croissants for breakfast during a holiday in Paris, cuddled up together in front of a fire. In all of these situations he'd have said it first, of course, and she'd be happy when she finally confessed her feelings back to him.

He'd never thought that it would occur in the middle of a fight when she was shouting at him and that she would promptly look terrified because of what she'd said. She'd spun around, facing the wall so he couldn't see her face now but he could tell that she had started to cry from the way that her head was bent over and her shoulders kept jerking.

"Say it again Kate, please," he needed to hear it, to make sure that he hadn't dreamed that first time.

"No, that's not what I meant," she tried to deny it. Her fierce denial made him smile, it was so typical Kate Beckett. In a way, the fact that Kate was so adamantly protesting about it just confirmed that the opposite was true, she did love him.

Rick wrapped his arms around her from behind and bent his head down so that he could whisper in her ear. "Yes, it's exactly what it sounded like and I love you too."

She made a half-hearted attempt to shrug out of his embrace. "No! You don't get to say that to me. I'm angry with you at the moment." She hated that fact that her voice was thready and she was hiccupping from trying to cry and talk at the same time, she wanted to sound strong and angry.

He just hugged her even harder and planted a kiss on the back of her head. "I love you Kate. Whatever the issue is, we can sort it out. Just talk to me please."

"I nearly lost you today Rick. Do you know how scared I was when I turned and saw that guy standing over you with a gun? From that range he wouldn't have missed and I thought that I had lost you."

Ah, it all made sense to him now. Kate Beckett's biggest fear was to lose someone close to her and who could blame her after all that she'd been through. It was why it had taken this long for him to get close to her, she blocked most people out so she wouldn't be in the situation of losing someone close again.

"I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

"It's ok, I'm here Kate. I'm here."

She turned in his arms so that she facing him again. "You have to promise me that you won't take that kind of risk again. Promise me, please." She stared into his eyes, willing him to give her the answer that she wanted.

"I…" he wanted so badly to lie to her, to make her feel better but he couldn't. "I can't do that Kate. If we had to do today over again, then I would exactly the same thing."

She jerked back as if he'd betrayed her.

"No, wait listen," he pleaded. "The reason why I would do it all over again is because I don't know what I would do if I lost you." He repeated her words back to her. "That guy was lining up to take a shot at you and I couldn't let that happen, not if I could stop it. I feel the same way about you that you feel about me."

Her shoulders slumped in defeat, she wanted to argue with him about it but she knew that he was right. If the situation had been reversed then she wouldn't have hesitated to do it either. It scared Kate to think that he might be put into a dangerous situation again because of her, but she couldn't deny the fact that he'd earned the right to stand beside her.

"I hate this," she whispered. "I hate that you're right."

"Wow did you just say that I was right? This must be a world first, it only took me almost being shot at for you to admit it," he tried to inject some humor into the situation, anything to get that sad look off her face.

The glare that she gave him in return let him know that she wasn't impressed by his attempt, but still, he thought that it was an improvement over her sadness. "Too soon? I'm sorry I shouldn't have joked about it. Look Kate, I can't promise that I'll always stay where it's safe but I can promise that I will always have your back. As long as you've got mine then we'll be ok."

Kate stared at him, thinking of all the times that he'd saved her life and that she'd done the same for him. There was really only one answer that she could give him. "Always." It was like their code word; their way of admitting their feelings long before they'd become a couple.

She took a step in towards him and tilted her head slightly so that her lips could graze across his. Her hand shifted so that she could run her fingers through the silkiness of his hair, as her tongue slipped into his mouth. It started off gentle and sweet; comfort more than anything else. She'd almost lost _this_ today; she'd almost lost _him_.

How had she ended up in love with Richard Castle; famous crime novelist and twice divorced playboy? If anyone had told her that this is where they'd end up when she'd first met him three years ago, then she would have thought them crazy. She could have imagined sleeping with him – yes, she'd thought about having wild sex with him from that very first day - but falling in love, never.

Kate hadn't thought that he was what she wanted in a relationship, but all of a sudden what she'd thought that she'd wanted had been turned on its head. Somehow Rick had tricked her into loving him, when she hadn't been looking he'd managed to sneak his way into her heart the same way that he'd snuck his way into her life.

They had wasted so much time getting to this point, most of that was her fault, she'd been too scared to let him in. She would feel gutted, completely cheated, if she lost him now. What she'd said earlier, it hadn't been a casual statement. Kate literally didn't know what she'd do if she lost him.

Could she get up in the morning if he wasn't there to bring her coffee? Could she remember to eat if he wasn't reminding her to look after herself? Could she smile and laugh if he wasn't there to make some inappropriate joke? Could she love again if he wasn't around to love her back?

All these things she tried to convey to him in her kiss. Rick was the writer, she didn't have his way with words. She found herself awkward and tongue-tied when she tried to voice her feelings, she'd never be as eloquent as him. But with this, Kate hoped that he would understand all the things that he meant to her. The kiss was intense, she felt like she was trying to sink into him, to merge into one being so that there would never be a risk that she could ever lose him.

Rick must have picked up on the desperation that she was feeling because he was starting to become a bit frantic himself. The tempo changed as need overtook comfort. Neither of them cared that they were still in his lounge; his mother or daughter could come home at any time, they were beyond thinking. She was clumsy in her haste to feel his bare skin, her hands now fighting with the buttons of his shirt. He was doing slightly better as he wrestled with the zip on her pants, his hand slipping under the lace of her panties to find her wet already.

His fingers ventured further south, until he could finally slide one into her slit. It made him hard, knowing how ready she was for him.

"Yes Rick," she moaned as he thrust a second finger in, stretching her even more. She couldn't concentrate, not when he was doing these wonderfully wicked things to her. Giving up on the buttons she just ripped the last two off, baring his chest at last so that her hands could roam as they wished.

Her tongued flicked out, tasting the salt on his skin, her face buried in his neck . It felt like she was drowning in him; his fingers thrusting inside her, his arm around her, the smell of him, musk, expensive cologne and him, surrounded her. Later she might be embarrassed by how he could take her apart, by the mindless sobs, and the way that she begged him but at the moment she didn't care. The only thing that mattered was that he didn't stop. And then he did.

"No! Don't stop Rick," she begged him as she gripped his wrist, trying to push his fingers back inside her but he was immovable like granite.

"Say it again Kate," it was important that he got her to admit it now, before she could backtrack or ignore it.

She knew that she did, but it was another thing to say it out loud. Maybe this was her way of keeping one foot out the door with him, but Rick was clever to Kate's ways, he wasn't going to take anything less than full commitment from her.

"Say it," he repeated as his fingers teased her nipples into aching stiffness. She loved the feel of his hands on her breasts but it wasn't enough to compensate for the emptiness between her legs. She glared up at him, shaking her head mutely as she bit down on the words that he wanted to hear. Her counter move was to cup him, even with his clothing in the way she could feel how hot and ready he was.

Rick jerked his hips back and grabbed her wrists, holding them behind her back where they could do no harm. "Say it Kate," he repeated again as he held her wrists with one hand now, freeing up one of his own to go exploring between her thighs. "Say it," he kept repeating it like a mantra as his finger flicked over her clit. Hard enough to tease her, not nearly hard enough satisfy her.

Kate held out for as long as she could, but he knew her body too well, Rick knew exactly where to touch her to make her mindless, so out of control that she finally gave him what he wanted. "I love you," she moaned in her need and that was the trigger he was waiting for.

He stripped their remaining clothes off and then picked her up, her legs automatically circling around his hips. She'd expected him to carry her to his bedroom but apparently he couldn't wait even that long. Instead he's guiding his cock to her entrance and with one hard thrust she's full of him, her back slamming into the wall behind her from the force.

He braces his elbows against the wall as he sets up a driving rhythm. "I love you," he pants into her ear as he thrust into her wet heat. The feel of his cock inside her is amazing, rubbing against all the right nerve endings to make her feel like her body is on fire. Whether it's because she's finally admitted her feelings or because of the earlier stimulation from his fingers it doesn't take her long.

The flush of her orgasm spreads over her body as she comes, her inner muscles clamping down on his cock as she peaks. "I love you Rick," she moans one last time, there's no point in hiding it anymore, he's seen through all her barriers, right to the heart of the woman that is Kate Beckett.

"I love you Kate," he replies as he holds himself deep inside her, spilling every last drop of semen until finally his legs give out and they both sink to the floor.

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. Glad to see that other people thought that it was typical Beckett to accidently blurt out an admission during a fight. That's how I see her, closed off enough that she won't give in easily. This chapter was a bit draining to write, mainly the emotional first bit. Anyway I hope that you enjoy it.**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Rick's first thought, when he became capable of thought again, was one of panic. Shit, he hadn't used a condom. It was an automatic reaction to jerk back, as if he could take back his mistake. "I'm so sorry Kate." He waited for her anger to kick in once she realized what he'd done.

Kate didn't appreciate the abrupt return to reality as he tumbled off her. "What on earth are you talking about Rick?" How was she meant to even think when she was still buzzing?

"I didn't use any protection. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." He cringed back a bit, waiting for her to slap him or something. What he wasn't expecting was for her to burst into laughter.

Really she couldn't help it; he looked so cute, sitting back on his heels, as naked as the day he was born, but with a look of absolute contrition on his face. The disparity between the two things was just too much for her, she was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her face.

"Well I'm glad that someone finds this situation amusing," he was a bit put out by the fact that she was laughing at him. "Would you like to share what you find so funny with the rest of the class?"

The way that he grumbled and looked so disgruntled now just made her laugh even harder, which didn't seem to please him at all. He made a move as if to leave her there, laughing like a maniac, stark naked on the floor of his lounge.

"No, don't go Rick," she grabbed his hand to prevent him from standing up. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing about it but you just looked so cute; grumpy and surprised at the same time, that I couldn't help it, but you're right it's a serious matter." Her humor had settled into manageable chuckles by now, she wiped the tears from her face. She tried to put on an appropriately serious face to match his. "Unsafe sex is always serious but in this case you don't have to worry. I'm on the pill and I had a check up with my OBGYN last month, I'm clean. And you?" Although she'd asked, she wasn't really concerned, maybe it was foolish given his past reputation but she trusted him.

"Yeah I'm clean as well," he still sounded a bit disgruntled.

Kate couldn't help the last guffaw of laughter that escaped her at his pouty look; the way that his bottom lip was sticking out was just too funny, he didn't look very impressed by that. "God, you look so cute when you're grumpy. I love that about you." She ran her hand over the slight stubble on his jaw and then leaned in to give him a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I love you," she whispers it softly against his lips, trying out the sentence like it was a new dress that she wasn't quite sure would fit. She wants to see how it felt when she meant to say it and he hadn't forced it out of her; it felt surprisingly … right. Now that they both know where they stand there's no point in hiding it any longer.

"I love you," a bit louder and more certain this time, it's not a question any more. And with those three little words his good humor is restored.

Rick hopes that she never finds out that he's such a sucker for her. Basically she can win almost any argument with him by just saying that again. "I love you as well," he kisses her back, and it surprises him that his body is starting to get definite ideas about where this should go, he's no longer a teenager, it normally takes him a bit longer to get ready for round two.

But she pulls back before they get too involved. "Hold it there pal. We were lucky the first time but I think we should take this somewhere a bit more private, don't you?"

Rick looked around as if seeing the room for the first time, he had been so caught up in her that he hadn't even thought about the fact that he doesn't live alone. "You're right; being caught like this would be even more embarrassing than the time my mother caught me making out with Lori Costello in her dressing room when I was sixteen."

He grabbed their discarded clothing up into a little bundle before staggering into an upright position; his legs still feel like rubber. Kate is a lot more graceful than he is and springs to her feet like she's ready to race the 100 m sprint. Surprisingly though, she started to rifle though their clothes, finding his crumpled shirt – missing the bottom two buttons now – and putting it on.

"Hey I was enjoying the view there," he protested, although to be honest the view now is almost as good as the view before. Sure there's less skin showing, but she's only done up a few buttons and the shirt falls to just her upper thighs. The enticing glimpses that he gets when she moves is like a little striptease.

"I'm not about to let your neighbors see the view as well Rick. There are open windows between here and your bedroom, so you'll just have to wait a bit." She's found his boxers as well and is holding them out to him, clearly expecting him to put them on. His windows are tinted enough that people looking in aren't going to see much and to be honest he really doesn't care if his neighbors get a view of him naked, but he knows that arguing will just mean it takes longer to get her up into his bed so he does as she asks.

"There, is that sufficiently modest enough for you?" he teases her as he does a little pirouette in his underwear before he takes her hand to lead her upstairs. He started walking and is a little surprised when she doesn't immediately follow. Turning around he found her staring back at the wall where they had had their little encounter.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, I was just checking to make sure that I didn't leave an imprint of my ass on that wall. You were banging into me so hard that I thought I might have," she says with a sexy smirk.

She doesn't do it often but sometimes she'll say something dirty that just turns him on completely. He's so floored by this comment that she's half way up the stairs before he's recovered. Kate turned back to look at him standing there with his mouth hanging open. "Are you coming Rick? You shouldn't keep a lady waiting."

"Yes ma'am." He's swept her up in his arms and she's shrieking with laughter as he bounds up the stairs and all the way to his bed.

* * *

"I wonder if a person could die from too much sex," he muses aloud. "Maybe we should conduct a little experiment to find out."

She just grunts in reply, she's not up to stage of vocalizing yet.

They're lying down on his bed, enjoying the aftermath of their second bout. Rick's holding one of her hands, their fingers entwined and he's studying it like it's the most fascinating thing that he's ever seen. In his mind he's imagining a shiny rock gracing her ring finger. He'd love to buy her something big and fancy (which she'd probably be too embarrassed to ever wear at work because she's just not as extravagant as he is) but even he knows that it's far too early to be asking her that kind of question. So instead he asks her something else that's been on his mind.

"When did you know Kate?"

"When did I know what?" she's confused, he has this habit of saying things with no preceding context.

"When did you know that you were in love with me?"

"Umm, I'm not sure that there was really one moment when it just happened," she's hedging. The truth is that she knows exactly when, but it's far too embarrassing to admit it to him. Kate's never told him that the reason why she broke up with Demming was because she realized that she was in love with him. She never could, not after he chose that moment to take off to the Hamptons for the summer with Gina. A small, jealous part of her is still mad at him for doing that, not that he had any clue about how she felt, but irrational or not she's still mad.

"How about you? Was there a particular moment when you knew that you were in love with me?" she asks him to shift the attention off of herself.

"Yeah there was actually. It was when you were dating Demming. The two of you were kissing at the precinct. I don't think that you even saw me, but I remember thinking I would give anything to be him at that moment. I was probably in love with you before then, but that … that was the moment that I knew." He remembers how it hurt at that time.

She didn't know what to say, how do you respond to a man who's just paid you the biggest compliment of your life?

"So I've been in love with you for ages. I know that I'm nothing like Will, or Demming, or Josh. They've all got important jobs, they're responsible guys and I'm this crazy writer. For a while there I didn't think you were interested, and I was so scared that we'd never get to this point. Where I'm with you and you're with me."

His arm tightened around her waist as he said it but she knew that he didn't mean them just being together physically. She was surprised to hear the underlying tone of insecurity in his voice. Rick had such a big personality, he seems to coast through life on his charm, so she'd never considered the fact that he could be insecure about anything. He had taken a big risk telling her all this, she owed him the same respect.

"The thing that all those guys have in common is that they're my exes, I'm with you now. I'm going to tell you something and if you ever repeat it to anyone else I will shoot you." She lifted her head off his chest slightly, staring at him in the eyes so that he'd know that she was serious about the threat.

"I wanted the crazy writer, that's why I broke up with Tom and Josh. I wanted you."

A big smile swept across his face as he took in the meaning of her words, she'd chosen him over those other guys. He still couldn't understand why this beautiful, smart, talented woman had chosen him, but he wasn't going to question his good luck. The important thing now is to make sure that she never changes her mind.

"Hah, I knew that you couldn't resist my ruggedly handsome good looks. All that time you were just pretending," he told her with a smirk, injecting some humor into the situation just when she thought that she was about to be overwhelmed by how sappy the two of them sounded.

She rolled her eyes at him, happy to be back on more familiar ground. "Oh yes Rick, I don't know how I managed to keep my hands off you," she deadpanned it. "Any woman would be charmed by an immature Lothario."

She's smiling slightly to take the sting out of her words but even without it he knows that she doesn't think of him that way, at least not anymore.

"Well the beauty of our situation is that you don't have to keep your hands off me anymore." He pulls her over so that she's laying directly on top of him now, his hands up by his head in mock surrender. "Do your worst Kate. Just remember my safe word is apples."

**A/N: public service announcement - in no way is this meant to condone unprotected sex! Now with that out of the way I hope that you aren't all in a diabetic coma from all the sugary fluff in this chapter.**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

"My, my, don't you ladies look spectacular tonight," more than a little of Castle's success with women could be due to his way of charming them. "How much is this going to hurt my credit card?"

Martha just slapped him on the arm while Alexis did a little twirl to show off the new dress that she had gotten for just this occasion.

"You're not looking too bad yourself Dad." It was true, he did look particularly suave in a black Armani tux. Some men just looked uncomfortable in formal attire, but Castle knew how to carry it off with panache.

"Not that I'm complaining about being taken to a black-tie event, but I still don't understand why you're taking your mother and daughter to this shindig instead of Kate," Martha was putting on her coat as she asked him again for the third time.

He sighed, with her dramatic personality his mother just couldn't understand that some people actually chose to shun the limelight. "Kate's still camera-shy. She's not too keen to be photographed with me, especially as we're still keeping our relationship private. Only a few people know and I'd appreciate it if you guys wouldn't say anything to anyone about it."

Rick had actually asked Kate to come along, hoping that she might surprise him but she'd declined, there would be too much press covering this charity event. He wondered what she'd be doing tonight instead, maybe curled up on the sofa with a good book. For a moment he wished that he was curled up next to her; it would beat eating fancy food that never came in big enough portions to fill you up, all the while making small talk with people you didn't really care about.

Three years ago he lived for events like this; he loved socializing with all the other bright, shiny people. Meeting Candace, or Brittany, or Liza; an endless stream of women all hoping to be Mrs. Castle mark three. He'd enjoyed the attention, happy enough for them to be on his arm or in his bed, but to be honest his two divorces had made him gun shy. He hadn't been looking for forever; that was how he'd earned his moniker of the 'white whale', none of those women had managed to hook him for long. Funny how things had changed.

"Of course Dad. We won't say a thing, will we Grams?"

"You know that you can always count on my discretion darling," Martha assured him.

"I guess there's a first time for everything then," she didn't look too impressed by his comeback, slapping his arm again. "Well if you ladies are ready, then we should get this party started," he offered them both an arm as he escorted them down to the waiting car.

* * *

As the family entered the Metropolitan museum Castle was surprised to see a familiar face amongst the security staff. "Hey Ryan, what are you doing here?"

"Hi Castle, Mrs. R, Alexis." Ryan pulled Castle aside to talk to him privately. "I'm doing a little bit of security work for my cousin. I've been saving up money for the wedding, the cost of the dress alone is killing me. You won't tell Beckett about this will you? 'Cos officially we're not meant to do side jobs like this but it's not hurting anyone."

"No of course not. This will be our little secret," Castle assured him.

"Thanks man. Maybe I'll see you inside later on."

* * *

The 'back-stage tour' of the new Egyptian exhibit was well worth the price of the dinner. It was a special one month showing of various artifacts associated with Egyptian hieroglyphics; everything from a display of how the dyes and papyrus paper would have been made, to the centerpiece display of the Rosetta stone. Each small group of museum donors was shown around by one of the PhD students; with such knowledgeable guides - who were itching to demonstrate how much they knew – it meant that patrons got a much more interesting experience than the average museum tour.

Castle had hung back at the end of the tour to admire a particularly well preserved manuscript. He was staring at the glass covering it, wondering what it said. It could be something as mundane as a household shopping list, or as a crude as a dirty limerick. A thousand years from now would someone look at one of his books and find the writing as incomprehensible as hieroglyphics were to him?

"It's stunning isn't it?"

He looked over his shoulder to find a young woman who seemed to be admiring him as much as the display. "Yes, especially when you think that each individual hieroglyph was inked and then colored in by hand."

"You're Richard Castle, aren't you?" she held out her hand.

"Yes I am. Sorry I don't know your name. Have we met before?" he shook her hand to be polite, rather than out of any real interest in prolonging the conversation.

"My name is Kimmy Roberts, we met at the launch of your last Derrick Storm novel. I got your autograph that night," she smirked as she said it.

Inwardly he cringed, there was a good chance that he had signed his name on her chest. He had been going through a phase of doing that; egged on by his publicist, who thought that it made him more edgy, as well by his own ego. Not exactly his finest moment, but like puberty, he had grown out of it now.

Outwardly though he just smiled. "Well I hope that you enjoyed the book then. Derrick Storm is one of my favorite characters, even if I did kill him off in the end."

"Is there any chance that I could get you to sign it again for me, maybe in private? The last one has washed off unfortunately." She acted like she didn't think that there was any chance that he'd turn her down.

If Kate was here, then this would be the point where she'd be rolling her eyes He wished that she'd come tonight, if only to save him from women like this. There was no subtlety in the come-on, but then again the woman only looked to be in her early twenties, it would take her a few years to learn that art.

"I'm sorry, I don't have a pen with me," he tried to politely deflect her.

"That's ok, you don't need a pen," she'd grabbed his hand and pulled it over her breast before he could even react.

"Sorry folks, this part of the exhibit is closed now while dinner is being served. If you could please head back to the function room."

Castle had never been so happy to hear Ryan's voice before, he looked over his shoulder to find him standing a few feet away. With his back towards Ryan, he wasn't sure how much the other guy had heard or seen but judging from the smirk on his face, Ryan had at least seen the part where he'd had his hand on Kimmy's chest. Damn it, now Ryan would think that he'd been making a play for her, when in fact the opposite was true.

"Oh hey Castle. Sorry, I didn't realize that it was you." Ryan's gaze zipped between the two people in front of him, from the irritated expression on Kimmy's face to the slightly anxious one on Castle's. To him, it seemed like the couple wanted some privacy. "Um … I'll leave you guys alone then …" Ryan tried to awkwardly back away.

"No!" Castle latched onto Ryan's arm like it was a lifeline, preventing him from leaving. The last thing that he wanted was to be left alone with this predatory woman. "Maybe you could show us to the function room? I haven't been there before and this place is like maze." He was careful to position Ryan between Kimmy and himself, not wanting to give her any more opportunities to touch him.

"Ok. It's this way," Ryan played along, although he wasn't quite sure what his friend was up to, the function room was just along the corridor and easy to find. Maybe Castle was losing his touch when it came to women, Ryan would have to tease him about it later.

* * *

Castle spent the rest of the evening closely glued to Alexis' side, his daughter made a good shield when it came to fending off unwanted advances.

"Ok Dad, do you want to tell me why you've been hiding out here all evening with me? Not that I don't appreciate the company."

"What do you mean? Can't a father enjoy some quality time with his daughter?"

From the skeptical look on her face she wasn't buying any of his excuses. "Dad, you've been glued to my side ever since dinner. Normally at one of these things you'd be off flitting around the room, you're like a social butterfly."

"I just didn't want you to feel abandoned that's all."

"As if," she snorted at that lame excuse. Alexis was more than capable of amusing herself at one of these things, after all she'd been coming along to his book parties since she was fourteen years old. "Does it have anything to do with the beautiful brunette who's been eyeing you up for the last hour or so?"

His eyes went directly to the woman in question, confirming Alexis' guess. "Damn, I thought that she would have given up by now."

"Poor Dad. It must be hard, being so irresistible. Don't worry though, I'll save you from the big, nasty woman" she grinned as she lightly patted him on the cheek

"I'm glad that my discomfort is so amusing for you."

"Come on Dad, you have to admit it's pretty funny. Using your teenage daughter to protect you from a woman who looks like she's no more than a hundred pounds."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew how dangerous she was," he grumbled.

"Ok, I'll be your wing man then, but you owe me a new pair of sunglasses."

"Done," he would have promised her almost anything for this.

Alexis was still laughing over it. "I can't believe that my Dad is afraid of Kimmy, I can't wait to tell Ashley about it."

"Wait a minute, how did you know her name?" he was pretty sure that he hadn't told Alexis.

"I'd have to be a Tibetan hermit not to recognize Kimmy Roberts." When he still looked confused she added, "Kimmy Roberts is the daughter of Sean Roberts, CEO of the second largest hedge fund in the country. She's always in the news for some hook-up or drunken accident. She's famous for being famous."

Castle looked over at the woman again, now that Alexis had provided the context, the name and face was starting to look a little familiar. "My god, wasn't she arrested for underage drinking a few months ago?"

"Yeah, she's only nineteen," Alexis confirmed.

The girl was even younger than he'd initially thought, and she really was just a girl, barely older than Alexis. It was the clothes and the make-up that made her seem older but her attitude was pure spoiled brat. A pampered, over-privileged little princess; he'd seen it before in the kids of wealthy parents. They grew up expecting that the world owed them everything, it made him grateful that Alexis had turned out so well balanced.

"I'm definitely sticking by your side for the rest of the evening then," he vowed. Castle managed it as well right up until the end, when Alexis excused herself to go the bathroom. He briefly considered following her there, it wouldn't be the first time that he'd been in the ladies room but Alexis had firmly vetoed the idea.

He was hiding in the corner, trying to be invisible while he scanned the room looking for his mother. Martha wasn't as good a barrier as Alexis was, but she'd be better than nothing. Unfortunately Kimmy zeroed in on him as soon as he was alone.

"Ricky, you're alone at last. I thought that that annoying little redhead would never leave."

"Actually that was my daughter and I wanted to hang out with her."

Kimmy seemed unfazed by the rebuke. "I thought that we could maybe have a private party, just you and I. My apartment's not far away."

"Look Kimmy, I'm flattered and all but I don't think that this is going anywhere. I'm a bit too old for you," he tried to dissuade her gently.

"Are you gay?" As far as Kimmy was concerned, this was the only possible explanation for why he'd turn her down. "It's ok if you are, maybe I could show you the benefits for playing for the other team." She took a step closer and rested her hand on his arm.

"No I'm not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just that I'm not attracted to you," he'd tried polite, it hadn't worked, now he was going for blunt.

Anger flashed across her face followed by something nasty.

"Get your hands off me," she shouted, drawing the attention of people nearby. "I said leave me alone. Dirty old man."

Castle was incensed by her little farce, she was making it out like he was the one who'd been chasing her. "You spoiled little brat," he told her, angry at the way that she had behaved. Unfortunately his anger just seem to reinforce her lie, dozens of disapproving strangers were staring at him now. There was no point continuing the argument, it would just make things worse. He stalked away leaving Kimmy smirking at her victory.

**A/N: Hang on, angst alert. The ride's about to get a bit bumpy but maybe not in the way that you're expecting**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Castle had come into the station early that day hoping to catch Ryan on his own; he really needed to talk to him to make sure that the detective didn't misunderstand what he'd seen the other night. The lift doors opened and his eyes went immediately to Ryan's desk, the detective was sitting there but unfortunately standing next to him was Kate.

"Hey Castle, you're here early. I didn't think that you normally woke up before noon," Kate was only teasing. When she shared his bed Rick would often wake up early feeling frisky.

"Yeah Castle. I thought that you'd be especially tired after last night," Esposito chimed in. He and Ryan were grinning like loons, obviously Ryan had already told his partner about what he'd thought he'd seen.

"Oh why is that? What were you up to last night?" Kate could tell that the three men were all sharing some secret.

"Nothing much, just that charity dinner for the museum that I told you about. I actually went home early with Alexis because of it being a school night and all," he hoped that the guys wouldn't discuss it any further with Kate here. Esposito and Ryan wouldn't be malicious, but then they didn't know that he was dating her, so as far as they were concerned it was ok to tease him about the woman from last night.

"So what murderous criminal are we chasing down today then Detective?" Rick steered her back to her desk and away from any further possible remarks that the boys might make. He'd tell her about it later, he just didn't want to have that conversation here, especially with the guys putting the wrong spin on it.

* * *

It took until mid-morning before Rick got his chance to talk to the guys alone; Kate had finally disappeared into the bathroom.

"Hey guys, I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't mention that young woman from last night to Beckett at all. It really wasn't what you're thinking."

The detectives exchanged knowing grins, they just thought that Castle was concerned about being caught tom-catting around.

"Yeah, sure we can keep it a secret amongst ourselves but it will cost you," Esposito teased him. "The way Ryan described her, she sounds like a hot one."

"It wasn't like that, she came onto me," Castle hoped that his serious tone would convince the guys about how important this was. "And then at the end of the evening she put on a fight like I was the one who'd been inappropriately touching her. I swear that I didn't. She was the one who put my hand on her chest."

The smiles were wiped off their faces as they understood how serious this was. Being falsely accused of sexual harassment puts a guy in a very precarious position, it's the kind of thing that could follow you around forever, even if it's never proven. A campaign of whispers that could insidiously destroy a reputation, most of it said behind your back. Just how are you meant to fight back against that?

"Yeah sure man, this goes no further than us," Ryan nodded his agreement as Esposito gave Castle a reassuring slap on the shoulder.

"We've got your back bro."

"Thanks guys, I appreciate it. Hopefully that's the last that I'll hear of her."

* * *

It started off with just one tweet, 'aging playboys r creepy, not hot' Kimmy. She doesn't mention any names, or even what situation she's referring to but it doesn't take long for some gossip blogger to put all the threads floating around in cyberspace together and come up with a picture that doesn't resemble the truth at all.

From there it's a quick side step from unsubstantiated gossip to confirmed fact as far as the trash tabloids and talk shows are concerned. The first rumblings that Rick hears about it is from his PR manager, Casey.

"Rick, we need to sit down and talk. There are stories going around."

He can tell from her tone that she's serious and that this isn't another of her attempts to get him to do more publicity events for his books, but he has no idea what she's talking about.

"As always it's lovely to hear from you Casey, and what the hell are you talking about?"

"Haven't you read the society page in the Ledger today? Kimmy Roberts is saying that you made some unwanted advances towards her at the museum charity event."

"That little bitch," he's raced to find his copy of the paper. Somehow the accusation is even uglier to see in print than to just hear it. He's stunned, how can someone, who calls themselves a journalist, print this crap?

There's silence on his end of the phone, making Casey wonder if he's still there. "Rick?"

"Yeah, I'm still here." He just can't find the words to express how angry he is right now, and that's pretty amazing given the fact that words are his livelihood.

"Rick I need to know if there's any truth to it at all before we launch any defensive action," she's careful to put no judgement in her tone at all.

"No, of course there isn't," his denial is immediate. Casey's known him for more than ten years now, how could she even ask that question? Rick's the first to admit he's got a playboy reputation, and yes, he likes to flirt with women. But he's never, ever crossed that line into harassment; it's just not him.

"She came onto me and when I refused she made a scene."

"This isn't going to be the end of it either," Casey warns him. "I've got a friend who's a writer on Tracy Power's talk show, he gave me a heads-up that they'll be running a segment on it tonight."

He lets out a stream of expletives, Casey knows it's nothing personal, he's just venting so she gives him space until finally he's calm enough to ask the obvious question.

"Can I threaten to sue her for libel? Would that make her stop?"

"I don't recommend it Rick. Kimmy's dad has a lot of money so it could be a long and drawn out legal fight, the only people to win out of that would be the lawyers. Also if you make it a public fight then that will just keep the gossip vultures circling around this thing for even longer."

Casey's had a lot of experience in this kind of thing, she's been through revelations of extra-marital affairs, love children and other mud slinging with her various celebrity clients, so he trusts her opinion on this.

"Ok, what do you think I should do then?"

"Do you have any witnesses that could collaborate your side of the story?"

He thinks back to that night, yes there were witnesses but probably no-one who had seen and heard the entire exchange. Those people who were around had probably only seen the part where she'd made a scene and lied, none of them would stick up for him. "No, there's no-one."

"Ok Rick, my advice to you then is to put out one statement denying it and then do nothing."

"What! You want me to say 'no I didn't do it' and leave it at that? She's lying about me and I just have to take it?" he was incensed at the injustice.

"That's exactly what I want you to do. Listen to me Rick, if you keep defending yourself or try to paint her as a liar then people will think that you're protesting a little too loudly. They'll think that where there's smoke there's fire. The best thing to do is to let this story die out by itself. The press will get bored with it if there are no more incidences and if we're lucky then everyone will have forgotten this by next week."

It was a bitter pill for him to accept but he can see the wisdom in her advice and he finally agrees.

"One other thing Rick, you need to talk to your family and anyone else who's close to you and warn them about it. There's a chance that the press may try to hound them into giving a statement which could be taken out of context."

He hadn't even considered that possibility; it makes him sick to realize that he might not be the only victim of one woman's spite. Shit, he hadn't even had a chance to tell Kate about what had happened that night. Maybe he'd been avoiding it subconsciously but he'd also been busy and he just hadn't managed to get Kate alone so they could talk about it. Now it could explode in his face.

"I'll write the statement and email it to you for your approval before we release it," she paused briefly. "It will blow over … it will be ok Rick."

* * *

He called Kate immediately after he'd finished talking to Casey, he needs her to hear it from him first instead of someone else's distorted view of the situation.

"Hey Castle what's up," she answers on the second ring.

She's calling him Castle so he knows that she's not alone, so now is not the time to be having this conversation. Just as well, it will be easier to do face to face, at least that way he can read her face for the little signs that give him insight into what her mind is thinking. Over the phone her voice often gives nothing away.

"Hi Kate, can you come over to my place tonight after work?" he doesn't go into any details over the phone.

Kate immediately knows that something is wrong, she only just saw him an hour ago and he seemed fine then. Now he sounds agitated and unsettled.

"Sure. It sounds important," it's her way of asking what the problem is without all the other cops around her catching on, it could be personal stuff and she still doesn't want work to know about the two of them.

"It is," he doesn't elaborate any further.

"I can leave now, there's only paperwork anyway. See you shortly." There are a hundred scenarios running through her head about what could be wrong. Sometimes Rick's imagination can go into overdrive, like the time he thought that he was under a Mayan death curse (she still teases him about that one), but somehow she doesn't think that this is going to turn out to be a funny situation like that was.

Is it about Alexis? Has something happened to the girl? Kate's sure that if Alexis had been hurt then Rick would have just told her, and she'd be rushing off to meet him at the hospital, so it can't be that. Her mind is running around in circles, dreaming up ever more serious situations, which is achieving nothing other than giving her the start of an ulcer.

"Hey Esposito," Kate calls out to her friend as she grabs her coat off the back of her chair. "Can you cover for me please? I need to finish early."

"Sure Beckett. Have you got a hot date?" he teases her.

"Thanks," Kate just nods as she sweeps out of the station, letting him believe what he wants to; it's easier to do that than to explain her vague concerns to him. She's got no basis for them other than Rick's tone but her gut is telling her that this could be bad and years of being a cop has taught her to trust those instincts.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Now that she's here he doesn't quite know where to start; he stalling and she's starting to look impatient.

"For goodness sake Rick, just spit it out."

"The other night at the museum dinner … there was a woman …" he hesitates again, not sure how to continue.

"Oh my god, are you breaking up with me?" she's still insecure enough about their relationship that it's the first thing that springs to mind. Kate doesn't think that he'd cheat, but he might move on; with two failed marriages behind him Rick isn't the poster boy for long-term commitment.

"No!" he's shocked that she would think that. "It's not that at all. You've got me for as long as you want me, and even if you don't I'll still be hanging on," he assured her. "No, this woman, Kimmy, was flirting with me and she didn't take it very well when I turned her down. Now she's claiming that I sexually harrassed her but I swear that I didn't do anything like that at all." He's holding onto her shoulders as he stares at her face, desperate that she believes him.

"What did she say you did?" Kate seems exceptionally calm, she's got her cop face on at the moment and he feels like a suspect that she's interrogating.

"That I touch her inappropriately. Here …" he shows her the newspaper article.

It doesn't take her long to scan the column.

"Ok, tell me exactly what happened then."

"I was standing by myself looking at one of the exhibits when she joined me. She introduced herself and made some lame come-on. Then she invited me to go somewhere so that I could sign my autograph on a private part of her body. I turned her down of course, but she grabbed my hand and put it on her breast and that's when Ryan turned up."

"What? What was Ryan doing there?" Kate interrupted him.

"Oh …" Rick had promised Ryan that he wouldn't say anything about his moonlighting job, but under the circumstances he's going to have to break that promise. "Ryan was working security at the event."

Kate just hums at that fact, and he hopes that he hasn't managed to get Ryan into trouble as well.

"Anyway, after that I made sure that I stuck by Alexis so that Kimmy couldn't corner me by myself again. And that was fine until Alexis went to the bathroom and Kimmy pounced. I turned her down again and then she made a scene. She was saying 'get your hands off me' as if I'd been feeling her up. I didn't know what else to do, so I got Alexis and we left soon after that."

Kate's just nodding now as she processes the story in her mind, she doesn't say anything and he's not sure if that's a good sign or not. She's not like him, Kate doesn't verbalise every thought that runs through her head and he knows that she likes silence when she's trying to work something out.

"So … what are you thinking?" he finally asks when he can't stand the silence any longer.

"I'm thinking that this woman has made a big mistake messing with us."

She said _us _not _you_, it's a deliberate choice of words and it makes him feel immediately better. Kate not only trusts him but she's also on his side. He's grateful for that because this may get even nastier and she risks being put in the limelight, which he knows that she'll hate.

Rick wouldn't blame her if she wanted to take a step back from him, other people in her situation would be tempted to do that. As far as most of the world is concerned she's just his muse, they don't know that the two of them are much more than that. And if their relationship does go public over this then she could end up looking like the naïve, downtrodden woman standing by her cheating man.

"Thank you Kate. Thank you." Rick pulls her in for a hug, the gesture isn't enough to express how truly grateful he is. After a few minutes he pulls back slightly so that he can rest his forehead against hers and give her a gentle kiss. "I don't know what I did to deserve you but thank you nevertheless."

"You don't deserve me," she tells him in a mock serious voice. "So I can only surmise that you are my punishment for being bad in a previous life."

He smiles at that, which is what she intended, and for a moment the world seems back to normal. Unfortunately Kate has to disturb the idyll with her next question.

"Have you spoken to your lawyer yet?"

"No. Casey, my PR manager, doesn't think that suing this woman is going to help. She thought that the best way to deal with it is to ignore it and let the story die down.

"That's not what I meant," Kate's shaking her head, sometimes it surprises her how he can still be so naïve. She loves that child-like innocence he has, it allows him to still believe in psychics or buy real estate on the moon, but it also means that sometimes he doesn't spot the hidden dangers. "I think that it's a wise precaution to talk to your lawyer just in case she presses charges."

He's stunned because it had never occurred to him that Kimmy would take it so far as to lie in court, he could potentially go to jail for that.

"Do …do you think she'd do that?" he stammers.

"I think that she's lied already, so I wouldn't put it past her to repeat that lie again in front of a judge." She can tell that his imagination is starting to go into overdrive, he's got that wild look in his eyes. "Listen to me Rick. She doesn't stand a chance of proving it in court, especially because it's not true, but it's better if we prepare for the worst, just in case."

As far as Kate is concerned the accusations are ridiculous. Anyone who really knows Rick would laugh at the suggestion that he'd do anything like that. It's not that he's a saint because he's not. Rick can be immature and frustrating – she knows that side well – and often there's no filter between his thoughts and what comes out of his mouth. But when it comes to women he's respectful, maybe it was the result of being surrounded predominantly by women all his life. It's odd given his playboy reputation but it's true.

"It would be her word against yours. Without any proof or credible witnesses she doesn't have a case."

"Yeah, but the other side of the coin is that I can't prove that she's lying."

"Yes, but the people who know you, and love you, will know the truth. We'll stand by you."

He thinks again about how lucky he is to have her; in any situation he can trust her to watch his back. The thought of her looking after him reminds him of why he called her in the first place. In all the rush of emotions he'd forgotten that he was meant to warn her to be careful as well.

"Kate this could get ugly, and not just for me. I already know of one talk-show that is planning on using it and Casey thinks that the tabloids might try to target my friends and family to get some kind of statement. I'll do as much as I can to shield you from this but you might get caught up in this farce as well. Casey's going to put out a statement but if the press comes after you then just say 'no comment'. They'll get sick of it after a while."

"Why would the press do that? It seems a bit excessive to me." Kate can't quite understand why this could get so big. Sure, Rick's well known in New York circles and amongst crime fiction fans but it's not like he's an A-list actor or rock star.

"It's more about her, than it is about me. The woman who's making these accusations is Kimmy Roberts."

Even for someone like Kate, who never reads the magazines and watches very little television, the name is familiar.

"Oh. I always hated her reality TV show anyway," Kate deadpans it.

He lets out a bark of laughter; partly because it's funny and partly because he's relieved that she's handling it so well.

"I think I might skip coming into the station for the next week or so," he finally says once the laughing peters out. "If I'm not there then the press is less likely to harass you."

"I hate this, it just seems so unfair," she knows that lying low is the best thing to do but it seems like he's – no, actually they are - already being punished (because she's going to miss having him around for the next week). "Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?"

"The presumption of innocence only applies in the law. When it comes to the court of public opinion, people are always willing to believe the worst of others. Sex and lies sells," he told her sadly. "Look, hopefully it will only take a week for all of this to die down and some new scandal will have taken it's place. Some politician is bound to have sent naked email pictures of himself by them."

Her lips don't even twitch at his joke which is a bad sign; even when she doesn't want to he can normally prise a smile out of her.

"Staying at home will be good for me, I really need to work on my next novel anyway," he tried to put a positive spin on it because he can see that she's starting to get angry about it again and he doesn't want his problems to burden her any further. "And just because I'm hiding from the world doesn't mean that we can't see each other, you just have to visit me in jail."

"Well it certainly is the fanciest cell that I've ever seen," she said as she looked around his loft.

"You could bake me a cake with a file in it, while I spend my time tying my sheets together so I can make my escape," he's hamming it up now for her benefit. "Maybe you could even pay me a conjugal visit so that I don't get lonely."

Kate can't resist the urge to roll her eyes at that last bit, even now Rick's still coming up with sexual innuendo.

"I don't think so somehow. Firstly I'm pretty sure that prisons only allow conjugal visits for married couples and secondly how can you get lonely when you have a cell mate like 'Crusher'?"

Rick shudders and pulls a pouty face. "Aww, come on Kate. You just ruined a perfectly good role play for me." The tone of his voice leaves her in no doubt as to exactly what kind of role playing he had in mind, even before he elaborates further.

"In my dreams you have this pair of fur lined handcuffs …. Hmmm," he closes his eyes and pretends to visualize it.

She pokes him in the arm to show him what she thinks of that idea. "That is never going to happen."

"Ow," he pulls her into a hug so that he can trap her arms by her sides, blocking any further poking efforts. "Don't say never, because never is a very long time." With her curves flush up against him, his body starts getting ideas about things that they could be doing other than talking.

Kate must be thinking the same things because she kisses him first. There's a sense of urgency as he thrusts his tongue into her mouth. She welcomes it; she wants to forget everything else, just be overwhelmed by the feel, smell and touch of him . They both know that they're using sex as a distraction but for now at least they want to enjoy the calm before the storm.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Everything was going wrong today for Detective Beckett. It had started off with Judge Costello turning down her request for a search warrant on the grounds of insufficient evidence. She'd wasted a good two hours putting that together to no apparent benefit. Because of that she'd missed lunch, only managing to snag a stale sandwich from the vending machine at the station. And now finally she'd been called out to a fresh murder scene, the call had come in just twenty minutes before she was due to come off shift.

Kate was cursing fate, the deities or whichever ill-begotten goblin was responsible for her crappy day as she sat at the traffic lights; it felt like she'd managed to hit every red light on the way to the scene. Normally her partner would be here and she could have bitched to him about it all. It wouldn't have changed anything, the day would still be crappy but it would have made her feel better to share it with him. Unfortunately today was the first day of his self-imposed exile.

She looks over at his empty seat and wishes that this whole week could be over already. A week from now he could be back in that seat, complaining about the spring that poked right into his back, it was a private joke between the two of them. But for now he was stuck and home and she had a new murder to solve.

Kate flashes her badge as she slides under the yellow crime scene tape that cordoned off the area from the prying eyes of the public. There's a click as someone's camera goes off, and she turns to see if she can tell who the culprit is. It's not clear but there is one guy who is looks a bit guilty, an overweight middle aged man who she catches staring at her. Unfortunately it's not a crime to gawk at a murder, so she lets it go.

Now that every phone seems to come equipped with a camera, the average person on the street fancies themselves the next Pulitzer-winning photo-journalist. At this distance it's unlikely that he managed to capture anything personal about the crime scene but still she has rules about this kind of thing. It feels like it's disrespectful to the victim for Mr. Joe Public to take photos for their own interests and also she thinks it's a bit morbid, so she firmly discourages it.

"Hey Sanchez, can you move the gawkers back a bit?" she says to the uniform who is manning the cordon. "Some idiot is taking photos."

"Sure thing Detective," Sanchez is an imposing six foot two and solid muscle, even if he doesn't intimidate the would-be photographer, then he would at least block part of the view.

"So what do we have?" Kate asks the guys, they've managed to beat her here but then again the traffic gods weren't conspiring against them.

"Female victim found next to the back entrance of this building by the cleaning staff when they were putting out the rubbish this afternoon. Her name is Maria Pereira," Ryan read the details off his notebook. "Her handbag was found further along the alley behind that dumpster. There was no money or credit cards in it but her driver's license was still there."

"Looks like a robbery gone wrong," Esposito puts in his opinion.

Kate agrees with his assessment but she'll wait for all the evidence to come in before she rules out the other possibilities. There are too many cases where the murderer gets away with it because the cop in charge is too quick to come to a conclusion; her mother's case was one of those. So Beckett takes her time and doesn't jump to the obvious answer immediately.

"We were about to take statements from the cleaners," Ryan indicates a group of three women standing together just inside the building.

"Ok, you guys do that. I'm going to walk the scene."

It's not that she doesn't trust her team, but Kate likes to look over the scene herself and not to just rely on other people's account. She liked to say that the more eyes there were on a case, the more likely it was that someone would actually see something.

She walks over to where the M.E. is working by the body. It's Perlmutter today, the man is cantankerous and irritating but he is thorough and she trusts that if there's any evidence to be found then he'll find it.

"Hey Perlmutter. Can you give me an estimate on time of death?" she asks him, mainly to jerk his chain more than anything else.

His disgruntled, undecipherable mutter is all the answer that she's expecting. It's a standing joke in the department that Perlmutter won't verify a time of death before doing lab tests or a signed affidavit from God.

"Thanks for that," she tells him ironically. "It's good to know."

The rest of the scene is as Ryan described it, there aren't any red flags as far as she can tell. Her final verdict isn't in yet but for now the hypothesis, that this was a robbery that turned into a murder, is the most likely. When's she's satisfied that there's nothing more that can be learnt at the scene she tells the guys that she's headed back to the station. The only other thing that she can do for Maria Pereira tonight is to write up her notes, they'll have to wait until tomorrow for the background checks and trace evidence to come through to see if there are any more clues to who killed this woman.

When she's finally ready to leave, the crowd who are gathered at the edge of the tape seems bigger than when she arrives. It seems odd because the crime wasn't particularly funky and the victim wasn't famous so Kate can't understand why there are so many onlookers. That was New Yorkers for you, she thought, murder was just another spectator sport.

It's not until she gets closer to the barrier that it finally clicks, these people aren't here about the murder, they're here for her. It's the flash of cameras and the mic being shoved in front of her face that's the give away.

"Detective Beckett, do you believe these allegations being made against Richard Castle?"

"If charges are laid will you being part of the investigating team?"

"Will the police department allow him to continue shadowing you in light of these events?"

There are so many voices all shouting questions at her at the same time that it's hard to make sense of the noise but she gets the general gist of the questions. How the hell did they manage to track her to the crime scene? Then she notices the would-be photographer who was here when she turned up, he's opening the door of a van branded with the name of one of those TV gossip shows that masquerades as a current affairs show. All it probably took was one guy listening on a scanner to the police frequency and suddenly the whole pack of vultures has descended.

"No comment," she looks neither left nor right as she makes her way back to the car. She could go back to the crime scene and then escape out the front of the building instead but that smacks of cowardice. She has nothing to be ashamed of and neither does Rick, so it's a point of pride to not let these vultures interrupt her doing her job.

The cacophony of sound is finally muted a bit when she shuts herself inside her car, unfortunately with the press of bodies around it she can't exactly drive off anywhere, at least not without running someone over. The cameras keep rolling and the pictures are still being taken and she's trapped there, getting angrier by the minute.

Kate's tempted to gun her engine a bit, it might scare a few of them off but unfortunately she's a NYPD detective and the department would not be impressed by her scare tactics. It feels like she's a bug, pinned down and on display. She only escapes after a few of the uniformed cops, who'd been at the crime scene, 'assist' a few of the more determined journalists out of her way.

It's not in her nature to swear but if there was ever a time for cussing then this was it, and she can come up for some pretty ripe descriptions for that pack of hyenas back there. Honestly, when Rick mentioned the possibility of this happening yesterday she'd thought that it was just his overactive imagination again. If anything though, today has proven that he had actually underestimated the appetite of the media for gossip.

She's still steaming by the time she makes it back to the station, fortunately there's nobody lying in wait for her here and she makes back to her desk without seeing another reporter. Her keys bounce on the scarred wooden surface from the force with which she's thrown them, adding yet another dent in its surface but then there are already so many that no-one's going to notice. It's a bit of mindless aggression and it makes her feel better, even if it doesn't achieve anything.

Unfortunately as a police officer Kate knows that there's not a lot that she can do to prevent a repeat of today's debacle. They maybe jackasses but they weren't criminal jackasses, so the law isn't going to help her out very much.

Rather than dwelling on it and getting angry again she elects to type up her notes on the latest case. The mundane nature of the paperwork allows her temper to settle and she's mostly over it by the time Rick calls her.

"Beckett," she answers on the first ring.

"Hey Kate, I missed you today."

The feeling is mutual but she can't say it, not while she's at the station. "Ditto," she says instead, it's the closest that she can manage in public.

It warms his heart, not the fact that she was lonely, but because she missed _him_. For her to be able to admit that shows exactly how far they've come.

"What? You've missed me or you've missed you today as well?" he teases her. It's a pretty lame joke, even he has to admit that, but she laughs nevertheless. "I was hoping that you might want to come over to my place tonight. I'm cooking chicken cacciatore and I can throw in a bottle of wine and good company as well."

She's tempted, both by the offer of food and the chance to see him, but she's not sure that it would be worth it, not if she has to face the media hordes again.

"Is there any press waiting outside your building?" she asks before she'll commit to an answer.

"Yes there have been a few hanging around all day. I'm sorry. They got to you today didn't they?" he sighs, feeling bad that she's been dragged into this because of him. Even his staying away from her work hasn't put them off the scent like he hoped it would.

"Sorry Castle, I think I might just go home after I finish up with this paperwork." Takeaways and a long soak in the bath with one of _his _books for company will just have to do.

He's disappointed by her decision but he can understand it. It's only been a day and he's already missing her like mad, he can only pray that this all goes away soon before he goes completely out of his mind.

"Ok. Maybe I can call you later, once you're home?" he asks hopefully. If he can't see her then talking to her on the phone is the next best thing.

"Yeah. I'll talk to you later then."

"I love you Kate," it's what she needs to hear after the crappy day that she's had.

"Ditto," is her reply, and this time he doesn't tease her about it at all.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Kate has only been home for about ten minutes when her intercom buzzes.

"Delivery for Kate Beckett, apartment 4a."

"I'm sorry, I didn't order anything." She's confused, that's her name and the right apartment but she's not expecting anything, especially not at this time of the night.

"Look lady, I'm just the courier. The docket says the sender is a Richard Castle if that helps at all."

"Hold on," she tells him, she's not about to let some stranger into her building, at least not without checking the truth of his story first. Kate pulls out her phone and dials, Rick's number is the first speed dial position on her phone, that's how often she calls him.

"Rick, did you courier something over to me?"

"Yeah, is it there already? Don't shake it, I packed it well but it might leak" he sounds excited, although he's not making any sense.

"Hang on, I just have to let the delivery person up," Kate holds the phone away slightly so that she can speak into the intercom. "The door's open, come up," she tells the courier as she buzzes him in.

The brown box that the guy is carrying doesn't give her any clues as to what's inside. It's got arrows on it, with Rick's distinctive writing saying 'this way up' printed over it. She signs for the package and thanks the guy before carrying it over to her table.

"So what is it?" she asks him.

"Open it," he encourages her. "It's a surprise and it won't be as much fun if I just tell you."

She's looking at it a bit dubiously, sometimes Rick's idea of fun doesn't quite mesh with her own, but she opens it anyway. Inside there are multiple blue tupperware containers and an Indiana Jones DVD. The smell of chicken cacciatore hits her nose as soon as she lifts the lid on the biggest container. He's sent her the dinner that he'd made for her, even though she can't come over to share it with him.

"Thanks, the food smells wonderful," an investigation of the other containers reveals a potato gratin, a green salad and a warm chocolate brownie for desert.

"You're welcome. You might have to heat it up though, I'm not sure that it's still hot," he warns her.

He's right, the food is only lukewarm by now but that doesn't matter. Kate wedges her cell phone between her ear and her shoulder so that she can still talk to him as she transfers the food onto a plate and pops that into the microwave.

"Thank you," she says again. "You didn't have to do this, I was just going to get some takeaways."

"Well since we couldn't have dinner together I thought we could have a _phone dinner_ instead," Rick tells her.

"Phone dinner?" she's not quite sure what he means by that.

"Well you know how some couples have phone sex …"

"I am _not_ about to have phone sex with you Rick."

He laughs at that. "That's a shame, maybe another time then. No, I just meant we could have the dinner equivalent of phone sex. We'll both share the same meal while we're on the phone, you at your place and me at mine. I wanted to have dinner with you tonight … we can't do that so this is the next best thing."

Out of the two of them, Rick is the romantic one, that's why he's the one who thinks to do this kind of thing. Although she might not be comfortable doing it herself, she likes it when he does this kind of thing.

"So what's the DVD for then?" she asks him.

"I've got a copy as well, so after dinner we're going to watch it together."

"You've been watching 'When Harry met Sally' again haven't you?" she likes to tease him about how he secretly enjoys chick flicks. Watching the same movie, at different places, while they're talking on the phone is copy of the movie scene where Harry and Sally are watching Casablanca whilst in their separate beds.

"Why not stick with what works?" Rick's happy to give credit where it's due. "Although our situation is a bit different … we're definitely not just friends. A _phone dinner_ followed by a _phone movie_, which makes this practically a _phone date_." He pretends to contemplate the situation, "Maybe you do owe me phone sex after all," Rick teases her.

While he's been talking Kate has moved into her bedroom so she can get changed into more comfortable clothes. She's sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning forward so that she can get her boots off. They're her favorite pair and she swears that they are actually really comfortable, even with the three inch heels.

"Phone sex huh? Well I am getting undressed at the moment …" Kate's not really going to have phone sex with him but this is too good an opportunity not to tease him a little bit.

Rick's mouth has gone dry from the husky tone of her voice and the mental image that he's conjured up in his mind. He makes a half-choking sound and then swallows loudly.

She can't help the burst of laughter that erupts from her at that sound, she can just imagine what he looks like the moment; his mouth half open and a wide-eyed look on his face as if he can't believe what she's just said. She's got her phone between her ear and her shoulder again in order to free up her hands so that she can get changed and unfortunately that precarious position doesn't survive the way her shoulders are shaking with her laughter.

All that Rick can hear from his end is a loud noise followed some indistinct words. "Kate, are you there? What's happened?"

"Sorry I just dropped my phone then, I was laughing so hard" her voice comes in clearly again.

Now that he's reassured that she's ok, Rick tries to move the conversation back to the more interesting topic that they were discussing before. "So what are you wearing now?" he asks her, imaging lacy lingerie or, even better, nothing at all.

"What do you think I'm wearing?" she pauses briefly and then goes on before he can jump in with some R-rated fantasy. "Sweatshirt and some lounge pants of course, and that's as much phone sex as you're going to get from me."

He groans. Kate is a minx and she leads him around by the nose, or more accurately by another part of his body and he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Come on lover boy, let's eat while the food is hot."

* * *

Kate wakes up feeling pretty upbeat the next morning. Last night's _date_ with Rick had redeemed what had otherwise been a really bad day. With more dates like to tide her over she's pretty sure that they'll survive this little bump in their way. That positive feeling only lasts as far as the front door of her building.

There's a small group of paparazzi outside lying in wait for her, and she's not sure if she's more angry or shocked by it. As a police officer, it should have been hard for them to track down her home address. It's not listed on her driver's license, she's not in the phone book, hell it's not even printed on her mail-box.

She's tempted to just retreat back into her apartment but that would be showing weakness and Kate Beckett isn't a weak person. Instead she takes the harder option and barges her way past the group that stands between her and her car. She doesn't even bother to say 'no comment,' instead she lets the silence speak for itself.

Kate's still steaming about it by the time she gets to the precinct. She's only just taken her coat off when the Captain asks her to step into his office for a minute.

"The Commissioner called me this morning," Montgomery is trying to be kind about it but Kate already knows what's coming next. "He thinks with all the media interest that's following you at the moment that it might be best if you stuck with desk duties for a while. He's not made it a direct order, more of a strong suggestion."

Kate's gut reaction is to say 'screw the press', and if she did that, then she knows that Montgomery would back her up, he's always looked out for her. But as much as she'd like to argue about it, rationally she knows that they're right, she can't do her job with a pack of journalists following her around. They can't get to her here, inside the station, but out there she's fair game. Plus her presence would just make it harder for the other cops to do their own jobs.

"He's right, I'm no use out there at the moment. I'll be more productive staying right here. Ryan and Esposito can do all the field work."

On a typical day at work Kate would spend a lot of her time at the station anyway. It's not like it is on television, all action and chasing down bad guys. The bulk of police work is mundane stuff; paperwork, telephone interviews, following clues across cyberspace and phone records. She can do all of that in the relative peace and comfort of her chair. But there are some things that you can only do in person, and Kate's caught herself getting up to leave at least three times today before she remembers that she can't. She'd never appreciated her anonymity until it was gone.

* * *

Kate's phone rings with a familiar name on caller display. "Hey Lanie what's up?"

"I've got the autopsy report from yesterday which I was going to drop off with you and at the same time I thought that we could also grab some lunch."

It would be nice to see her friend, they really haven't spent as much time together as they used to. It was nobody's fault really but Lanie had Esposito and she's got Rick now.

"We can eat at the precinct, I'll pick up some sushi for both of us on the way," Lanie offers.

"Thanks that would be great," Kate should have known that Lanie would already be up with the play, Esposito probably phoned his girlfriend within five minutes of him finding out himself.

* * *

"How are you holding up?" Lanie slides a container across the break room table towards Kate.

It's just the two of them in there at the moment so it's relatively private. At least private enough for Kate to admit the frustration that she's feeling.

"It's only been two days and I honestly don't know if I can take this for much longer. It makes me feel sorry for those people who live like this constantly."

"And how is Castle coping with it?" Lanie asks.

"He seems to be holding up well enough when we talk on the phone but that's probably just an act. I haven't risked going over to his place since this whole thing started. Too many prying eyes. It's so damn frustrating, I'm a cop and I still can't prove that he's innocent."

Lanie says all the right things to be supportive but it's still not enough, what Kate needs is Castle. The two of them talking over the phone is not enough either so Lanie takes it upon herself to let Castle know exactly what's going on with his girlfriend. Knowing Kate as well as she does, Lanie's sure that her friend is putting on a good face for him as well. Kate probably hasn't even told him what's happened with her at work.

Lanie rings him as soon as she gets back to the morgue. "Kate needs to see you. I don't know how you're going to organize it but she really needs to see you," Lanie gets straight to the point.

"Lanie I'm not sure that it's a good idea. If they follow me to her place then it will just intensify their interest in her. We want this story to die, we don't want to feed it even more."

"Look Castle I'm going to tell you this because Kate won't, she's thinks that she's protecting you. She's not coping well with this whole situation, it might seem like she is, but she's not. She's stuck doing desk work because she can't do her job with all the press that is following her. It's getting to her, but she won't tell you that because she doesn't want you to worry about her. So do what you have to, but make sure that you see her."

**A/N: to daphnebeauty, good idea with the surveillance cameras, it never occurred to me that they could be used to clear Castle, but alas that it would make it too easy on our favorite couple. Also for the purposes of this story Knockout hasn't happened. I thought it would be too distractring to introduce a new character to replace Montgomery.**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Kate's in the break room using the hideously expensive coffee machine that Rick bought for the department. It's way too fancy for a police station, and for a long time she wouldn't use, at least not when he was around. It's odd to think of all the little ways that she tried to resist letting him in any further and yet, somehow despite all her efforts, he still managed it.

Rick chooses to ring at that exact moment, the ringing of her phone startling her out of her thoughts.

"Hey Castle. Are you starting to get cabin fever yet? I certainly know I am."

"I am getting sick of looking at the same walls all day, but I haven't gotten to the stage where I'm climbing them yet. How's it going at the station?"

"Slowly, it is going very slowly. I've been doing paperwork all day and it sucks. I don't mind doing it as part of the job but when it's the only part of the job that I can do, then it becomes torture."

"I'm sorry that you got dragged into my mess," Rick apologizes; he knows that Kate has always hated the publicity attached to him. "I want to make it up to you."

"It's not your fault Castle, you don't have to apologize for anything. We're partners." As far as Kate was concerned that summed it up. They were partners so they were in this together.

"Ok it's not an apology then, we can call it your reward for killing a small forest of trees today in your efforts to keep this city safe."

"Castle what have you done now?" Kate knows that particular tone of voice that he's using, it happens when Rick thinks that he's come up with something pretty smart.

"Come on Detective, what's with all the suspicion? I promise that you'll enjoy this one. I've booked us a suite at the St Regis hotel for tonight."

"Castle, I don't think that that is a good idea. We really shouldn't be seen together while this stuff is going on. Plus we've both got the press practically camped on our front doors, either one of us could be followed there."

"I've got a plan," he assures her. "I'm going to my lawyer's office for a meeting today and I'll let the press follow me there. That building has a helipad and I have a friend who can pick me up in his chopper and drop me off a block from the hotel. The paparazzi won't be able to follow me in the helicopter, if I'm lucky they won't even know that I've left the building. And from there I'll be in disguise, just in case someone recognizes me. Is that a cool plan or what? Just call me Bond, James Bond."

Rick sounds about as excited as a kid on Christmas morning, Kate has to smile at the enthusiasm in his voice. Even in this situation he's still spinning crazy ideas and wanting to play out his spy fantasies.

"Well 007 I hope that you enjoy the subterfuge and I'm sorry but I don't think that I'll be able to join you."

"But Kate I've got a plan for you as well."

"Castle there is no way that you'd permission to land on top of the station. And somehow, I doubt that even your friendship with the Mayor would be enough to wrangle me a joyride in the police helicopter."

"No, I couldn't quite pull that off but I have arranged for something else. Lanie knows one of the guys who drive the van for the coroner's office, you can ride in the back and no-one will know that you're there."

"So you get a chopper ride and I get ferried there in the morgue mobile. Typical," Kate teases him.

"I don't really care how we both get there, I just … I just wanted to see you without the whole world breathing down our necks," it's his serious tone so she knows it must be pretty bad, normally he can see the humor in most situations. "I miss you Kate."

"Ditto Castle." It's only been a few days but she feels like it's been weeks. Maybe it feels longer because the stress of the situation, she knows that it would be easier to cope with it if she felt like she was sharing it with him, rather than the two of them fending for themselves. She wants to say yes but there are still practicalities to consider, other than just slipping the press hounds.

"I don't have an overnight bag with me, I'd still need to go home." It would be a bit much to expect Lanie's friend to wait for her while she packed, plus there could still be some paparazzi staking out her apartment.

"The whole point of a clandestine affair is that you don't have to bring anything. The dress code will be hotel robes or even better, nothing at all." He doesn't even need to see her face to know that she's rolling her eyes at that last comment.

Kate scans the area quickly to make sure that no-one else is close enough to hear her next sentence. "The clothing optional theme might be fine for tonight but I can't exactly come into work like that tomorrow or wearing today's clothes again."

Rick almost swallows his tongue, did Kate just agree to stay naked all evening? The idea of it gums up his mental cogs so it takes him a few seconds to process the second part of her statement.

"Castle, are you still there?"

"Yes. Sorry. Umm … clothes for tomorrow you said. I know what we could do. You've got some clothes at my place, you could wear those to work tomorrow. I'll bring them with me. That drawer finally proves its worth, I knew it would one day, " he teases her.

"Ok, I admit it. Maybe not all your ideas are stupid ones," she says.

When she first started spending nights at his loft she'd always bring a spare set of clothes with her, just in case she was ever called into work unexpectedly. She'd always taken everything home with her each time. It was her way of maintaining a clear separation between their lives. Rick had eventually cottoned on to that though and had simply taken matters into his own hands.

One morning she found her overnight bag completely empty, it was still sitting in the same place that she'd left it the night before, right by his bedroom door, but now it contained nothing. The mystery was solved when Rick had shown her the drawer that he'd cleared for her and now it contained her spare set of clothes.

Kate remembers the huge fight that they'd had about a stupid drawer. She'd accused him of trying to rush their relationship forward too fast, Rick had countered by saying that how could he be rushing things when she'd barely let him in the door and for Pete's sake it was only a bloody drawer, not a diamond ring. They can laugh and tease each other about it now, but at the time both of them were too stiff necked to admit that they could possibly both be wrong.

"So it's settled then? I'll see you later on this evening?" he asks hesitantly because she still hasn't actually said yes. He won't tell her that he's been miserable the last few days, partly because he's been playing the hermit at home but mainly because he misses her. He won't tell her that because he doesn't want her to feel pressured into doing this, but he'll feel disappointed if she doesn't. Yes, he's organized this because Lanie has told him that Kate isn't coping too well but he's doing this as much for himself as he is for Kate.

"Yeah, I'll see you later then," she promises.

* * *

Kate goes straight up to the suite, she doesn't even have to bother with the reception staff because Rick's already checked in, under a false name, and organized to courier her the second keycard. His plan seems to have gone off without a hitch, she's pretty sure that no-one has managed to follow her.

With all his talk of wearing only hotel robes all evening she kind of expected him to go the whole romantic theme; rose petals and bottles of champagne. Instead she finds him sitting quietly, reading a book of short stories by one of his favorite authors, Edgar Allan Poe.

"Feeling macabre are we Rick?" she asks.

"I was until you got here," Rick pulls her in for a long hug. He's holding on so tight that she can hardly breathe but she's not complaining. She understands the need to be as close as possible, to make up for the last two days of being apart and as a memory to store up because who knows how long it will be before they get this chance again.

"I was afraid that you might not come," he admits, not scared to voice his fears now that she's really here. "That you could have been spotted or just decided that the risk wasn't worth it in the end. I wouldn't have blamed you if you hadn't come."

Kate pulls back enough so that she can see his face. There's a vulnerability there that's usually masked by his big personality and confidence. Her hand comes up to twine in the soft hair that skims over his ear. "This is worth it," she says.

"Are you sure?" he asks. "I know that this has been hard on you."

"It's been fine," she tries to underplay it.

"No, I know it's been hard. You've always hated my fame and now it's affecting you as well."

"Well, it's not been fun," she admits, it's clear that he's not going to settle for the rose-tinted version of events. "I'm tempted to shoot one of them to see if it would scare the others off for a while. I hate being constantly watched, it's worse than when Natalie Rhodes went all 'single white female' on me. Do you know they even followed me to a crime scene? I'm too much of a distraction so the Captain has me doing just desk work for the moment."

The situation is still crappy, the press is still following them and she's still stuck doing paperwork but Kate feels better for having shared her frustrations with Rick.

"How about you?" Kate asks him.

"Well I'm not getting to spend any time with you and I can't even write because I can't focus. I just wish that this would all be over now." Rick leans his forehead against hers, letting the feel of her fingers gently caressing his scalp soothe him. "At least Alexis and my mother don't have to put up with it."

"Where are they?"

"Alexis is off at a school camp and Martha is traveling with a play at the moment."

Kate's glad that Alexis and Martha aren't being subjected to this as well but it does mean that Rick has also been socially isolated.

"How much longer do you think that this will go on for?" she asks.

"I don't know, until the next scandal hits maybe? I had a meeting with her today, Kimmy Roberts that is."

Kate's surprised enough that she pulls back a bit. "What? Why would you do that Rick?"

"It was a mediation via teleconferencing with our lawyers present. I was hoping to get her to recant her story. I thought that if I could find out why she's doing this then I could get her to stop."

"So why is she doing it?"

"Pride, that and because she's a vindictive little bitch. Apparently mere mortals don't get to turn down the great Kimmy Roberts. She gets to play the injured party and garner all the sympathetic publicity."

"Oh Rick I could have told you that before and saved you from having to talk to that woman again," Kate sighs.

"I know it was a long shot but I was hoping that she might be feeling guilty or have some common decency. It was too much to hope for I guess."

"Let's not talk about her or this situation anymore. Tonight there's just you and me and those hotel robes that I've heard so much about."

There's an urgency and desperation in her kiss that he recognizes. She's trying to block out the rest of the world and for now that sounds like a good idea to him too.

**A/N: Sorry about the delay but I've been having problems uploading files to the site. Anyway enjoy.**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N The second half of this chapter is smutty. Consider this the warning.**

Chapter 30

The lights of the city never fail to fascinate Rick. At night you can't see the dirt and graffiti, just the multitude of sparkling lights in this city which famously never sleeps. He knows this hour of the night well, when other people are sleeping is often his most productive writing time.

He should be in bed with Kate but he can't sleep and he doesn't want to disturb her, so instead he's drinking whiskey and watching the New York skyline as the minutes drag by. Sleep eludes him because the meeting that he had earlier on is still playing on his mind.

He'd tried appealing to Roberts' decency; hell he'd tried begging and bribery as well. By the end it had deteriorated into a name-calling, yelling affair. Rick has never hit a woman before in his life but if Kimmy Roberts had been in the same room today then he would have been sorely tempted. She was lucky that their only link was via the video monitor.

It isn't the fact that his reputation has been besmirched that bothers him the most; he can deal with that. No it's the way that this thing is affecting his loved ones that has him really angry. Kate hasn't blamed him for her life being turned upside down, she's been nothing but supportive and that makes him feel even more guilty.

Kate barely makes a sound as she sneaks up behind him on bare feet and yet somehow he knows that she's there.

"Hey, you're meant to be asleep," Rick says, without even turning around, as she slips her arms around his waist. He lifts his arm over her head and pulls her to stand in front of him so they can share body heat as they both enjoy the view down 5th Avenue. She's wearing just his button down shirt; it swamps her thin frame, hanging down to mid thigh.

"You're meant to be asleep as well," she tells him, "right next to me."

"Sorry," he apologizes. "I didn't mean to wake you up. Was I too noisy?"

"No," Kate shakes her head against his chest, without her heels she feels small standing next to his height. "So why are you up?" she asks him.

"I was thinking about this mess. You know that I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to wash your hands of me. You didn't sign up for all my crap."

"If I did that, who would bring me coffee then?"

He ignores her joke; he needs her to know that he's serious about this. "I mean it. If you want me gone, then I'd do it."

"Rick look at me … look at me." He sounds so hopeless and that frightens her more than anything. Kate cups his face in her hands, forcing his gaze away from the lights of the city so that he can see the truth in her eyes. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Kate, at the moment I'm the guy that's making your life harder and I don't want to do that to you. You don't deserve that."

"No, you listen to me; you don't get to decide what's good for me. I do. If this is the Richard Castle pity party then I'm not interested in hearing your whining."

"Hey," he protests. "This isn't about me feeling sorry for myself. I'm trying to do the right thing by you."

Rick's voice is starting to sound angry now but she welcomes that, anything is better than him giving into despair.

"Bullshit," she tells him. "If you think that breaking up with me would make things better than you are either delusional or stupid. This isn't just some hookup; I'm not going to be ok if you just walk away from me. You told me that you loved me, so if you tell me one more time that we should break up then I am going to kick your ass until it knocks some sense into you."

Kate pulls his face down to hers for an angry kiss, she needs to remind him of all the reasons why they are so good together, and the sex is just one of them. Her hands are locked behind his head so that he can't pull away from her. He tries to push her back but she's not going to let go, not unless he forces her to and he'd have to physically hurt her in order to do that, Rick would never hurt her.

Her tongue thrusts into his mouth; she can taste the whisky that he's been drinking, he can taste the desperation in her. Rick's fighting against her need and his own but it feels so right to have Kate in his arms. She rubs her body against his; he can feel the heat of her through the thin cotton material separating them. He's tried to do what he thought was the gallant thing, the best thing for her, but she's not having a bar of it and he can't fight against this anymore.

His hands slide up her thighs, under his shirt that she's wearing, to find the firm curves of her ass. His fingers slip forward finding her slit as if they have some kind of homing mechanism, she's hot but not nearly wet enough yet; that's ok because she will be by the time he's finished with her.

Kate lifts one of her legs, hooking it over his hip to open herself even more to him. She grinds her pelvis against his; the friction that it generates teases both of them. His hard cock slides between them, a delicious thick promise that she knows will feel amazing.

She gives a little gasp of surprise as he grabs her by the waist, lifting her so that he's supporting her full weight now. He can't do everything that he wants to do to her, at least not here in the living room, besides there's a perfectly good hotel bed next door. Kate circles her legs around him as Rick carries her into the bedroom, his mouth devouring hers the whole time.

He's clumsy in his haste, almost tripping over the low ottoman that sits at the foot of the bed; he's so focused on the warm body in his arms that he wasn't paying attention to anything else. Kate reluctantly lets her legs slip from his waist so that she's standing, as Rick regains his balance. He's just about right again when she spins them both around so that he lands flat on his back on the bed, his legs hanging over the side while she stands there looking down at him.

There's a knowing look in her eyes as she watches him shuffle up the bed a bit further so that he's laying on it full now. Rick holds his hand out to her but instead of taking it, she pauses to undo the buttons on her shirt. The material slips open to reveal the stiff peaks of her nipples before the shirt slides off completely, fluttering to the floor.

The sight of her standing there naked rouses a possessive growl from him; it's his primitive hind brain, the part that never evolved past living in caves, claiming her. How could he even think that he could let her go? Beneath the polished, charming exterior he's no different from any rutting beast, at least when it comes to his mate.

Kate heard that almost animalistic sound that he made and she has a fair idea of what's going through his mind at the moment but she's not about to lie there passively. She's claiming him as much as he's claiming her tonight. If she could, then she'd brand him to let every other woman know that he's off limits, Rick belongs to her.

She slinks over the bed, like some predatory feline and nudges his thighs apart so that she can kneel between them, her hand wrapping around the stiff column of his erection. There's a small bead of moisture at the tip of his penis and her tongue flicks out to taste him, dipping slightly into the slit at the end before her lips engulf the head completely. He tastes of salt and musky, she's drowning in him; the feel, the smell, and the taste of him is everywhere.

Rick can't help the instinctive thrust as his hips arch up off the bed, the feel of her mouth sucking on him is amazing. One of her hands is wrapped around the base of his cock limiting how deeply she takes him, but it still feels like an exquisite torture as her mouth works up and down his length. The sight of her kneeling there, her head between his legs is the most erotic thing he's ever seen. Even if he lives to be one hundred, the memory of this will still cause him to stiffen.

Kate teases him right to the edge of insanity and then suddenly she's gone. The night air feels cool on his cock after the hot moisture of her mouth, he can't believe that she's left him hanging there. But she's already moving, crawling up his body so that she's straddling his waist now.

Rick shifts, he's about to roll her under him but her hands are on his shoulders, stopping him.

"No."

Tonight she's the one in control, so he stills his movement, waiting to see what she does. Kate takes his hands in her own, guiding them up so that they're cupping her breasts and then she lets go. He's on his own now but he has a pretty good idea about what to do as his fingers pinch her nipples lightly. They're already so stiff that the sensation is a combination of both pain and pleasure and she leans further into his touch.

She's leaning right over him now and he lifts his head so that he can tongue one of her nipples as he continues to palm her other breast. It feels like there's a thin bundle of nerves connecting her breast to the heat between her thighs because what he's doing with his mouth is just making her even wetter for him.

She shifts her hips trying not to dislodge his mouth as she positions herself so that his tip is right at her entrance. The physics are all wrong though, he's too tall, compared to her, for that to work and his cock keeps slipping harmlessly between her thighs instead of where she wants it.

Finally she gives up and slips a finger into his mouth, breaking the suction that his lips had formed around her breast. Kate lifts up above him, one hand sliding between them so that she can guide his cock in as she sinks down slowly on him.

It's an exquisite stretching feeling as she lowers herself down, taking an inch of him at a time. Kate takes her time, not speeding up at all, until finally he's as deep as he could possible go. She pauses for a moment, letting them both savor the feeling before she reverses direction and lifts up again. Slowly her hips pick up the tempo, until the rhythm is almost as fast as her heartbeat and yet, still she can't let go.

Rick knows that he's close, she's too good and he can't hold off for much longer. He wants her to share the end with him but if she keeps going like this then he can't guarantee that. His hands move to her hips to keep her still, he can't take any more stimulation right now.

Kate looks down at him in surprise but she holds still for now. He keeps one hand on her hip while the other slips between her wet folds to find the nub of her clit. It's a concentrated bundle of nerve endings and each time his finger flicks over it she feels like she being jolted by lightning.

It doesn't take long before she's moaning loudly and her inner muscles clamp down on his cock tightly. She's coming and he finally let go of her hip allowing her to start moving again. She rides him as the storm of her climax washes over her, he can feel each flutter against his cock as he groans out his own pleasure, until finally she collapses into his arms.

"You are mine Richard Castle and I'm not letting you go."

He doesn't know if that's a threat or a promise, but either way it sounds good to him.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Last night's little interlude with Kate is inspiration for his writing so Rick spends the morning immersed in the world of Nikki and Rook as he writes them out of being incinerated by a car bomb. He is so focused on the world inside his mind that he doesn't hear the first knock on his door. It's only when the knocking becomes more persistent and accompanied by voices that identify themselves as being members of the NYPD that he emerges from his writing daze.

"Hold on, I'm coming," he yells as he makes his way from his study to the front door.

He doesn't recognize the two plain clothes detectives waiting on the other side, but a quick glance at their badges assures him that they're the real thing.

"Richard Castle?" the older, heavy set guy is obviously in charge as he does all the talking.

"Yes, that's me."

"I'm Detective Linquist, and this is Detective DeSouza. We'd like you to come down to the station with us. We just have a few questions that we'd like to ask you."

"Can I ask what this is in relation to?" Rick has been on the other side often enough to know that the cops don't just invite people over for a cup of tea and a chat, it's always a bit more serious than that.

"Your name came up in an investigation that we are looking into at the moment."

The answer is so vague that Rick smells a rat. He's seen Kate use the same ploy before with criminals; give them enough rope and they just might hang themselves with it. He doesn't want to be deliberately obstructive with the police but his spidey sense is tingling like mad at the moment, something is definitely wrong.

"Am I under arrest?"

The two detectives look at each other before Linquist replies. "No, at this stage you're just being detained for questioning. Kimberley Roberts claims that someone tried to assault her last night and we just need to establish your alibi so that we can eliminate you from our list of people of interest."

Rick doesn't get any satisfaction from knowing that his spidey sense was right, this is worse than what he expected.

Rick sits patiently in the interrogation room, he's refusing to talk without legal representation so the interview is stalled until his lawyer can get there. They taken him to the 6th precinct, he knows none of the cops here and his status as an unofficial volunteer at the 12th hasn't garnered him any brownie points with these guys.

DeSouza has tried playing the good cop role in an attempt to soften him up probably but Rick has remained stubbornly silent throughout, resisting all overtures. Eventually the detectives have given up and left him alone, they're not going to get a single word out of him before the lawyers arrive.

Matt Tonkin is one of the partners at Bell, Watt and Edelstein. With the suit, the salt and pepper hair and steady gaze, the man radiates a sense of power and calm which is very reassuring. The firm represents Rick in a number of areas; they've handled his divorces, the book and movie rights, even his graphic novel, so Rick is worth a lot of money to them.

"Rick, how are you doing?"

"Good, now that you're here. Thanks for coming Matt."

"It's my pleasure Rick. Ok gentlemen," Tonkin turns to face the detectives, "let's get this started shall we? I am sure that my client would like to get out of here as soon as possible."

Linquist reads Rick his Miranda rights, observing all the legal niceties, especially now since the lawyer is here.

"Mr Castle, are you acquainted with Kimberley Roberts?" the question is a formality, with the press coverage; every New Yorker knows the gossip.

"Yes," Rick keeps his answers short, not volunteering any more information than is necessary to answer the question.

"What is the nature of your relationship with Miss Roberts?"

"We don't have a relationship. I have met the woman exactly once, in person."

"And yet there have been extensive reports from the media that Miss Roberts rebuffed your advances for a more intimate relationship."

"I …" Rick's about to launch into a rant but Tonkin lays a hand on his shoulder to stop him, this is what Rick pays him for.

"My client disputes the accuracy of those reports; there hasn't been any police investigation into those stories, so they remain speculation and rumor."

"So you claim that you've only ever met Miss Roberts on the one occasion."

Rick looks over to Tonkin first, the lawyer gives him a little nod; he can answer this question.

"In person, yes I met Miss Roberts once, at a Museum charity dinner last month. I also had a teleconference with her yesterday afternoon, with both of our lawyers present. That is the extent of my interactions with that woman."

"And you haven't seen her since then?"

"My client has already stated that he has only dealt with her on those two occasions."

"It doesn't sound like you have a particularly cordial relationship with Miss Roberts, in fact I would guess that you hate the woman," Linquist ignores the lawyer completely, looking only at Rick.

Even if he hadn't been following Kate around for the last three years Rick knows better than to offer a reply to that, he just lets the silence linger.

"Is there a question in that? Or do you just enjoy verbalizing your speculations?" Tonkin asks the detective.

Linquist is a bit disgruntled but he moves on with the questioning. "Where were you last night at 10 pm?"

"I was at the St Regis Hotel."

"Were you visiting someone there or did you have room booked?"

"I was staying in the Fifth Avenue Suite."

"Interesting that you're staying in a hotel suite when you own a Manhattan apartment only fifteen minutes away from there. I'm wondering why that would be."

"There has been a lot of media attention on my private life recently and I wanted to get away from it for a while. I thought that a change of scenery would be nice." It's only part of the truth but Rick isn't about to pull Kate into this as well.

"So if we checked with the hotel then we would find a record of your stay there?"

"The room was booked under the name of R Rodgers, but I paid for it with my credit card, so there will be a record."

"Were you there alone, or was someone else there with you?"

"There was someone else with me."

"And are you going to tell me the name of that person?" Linquist is obviously starting to lose his temper.

Instead of answering Rick asks Tonkin a question instead. "Matt, do I have to tell them who it was?"

"No you don't Rick. But if you do have a witness who can verify your story then it would be easier if you did tell them a name."

"In that case I think I might decline to name my guest at this stage." Rick directs his answer to the detectives.

"Mr Castle, I think that you should listen to your lawyer here. I can assure you that the name of that person will remain confidential to the police involved in this investigation. It will be a lot easy for everyone if we could talk to this other person," Linquist is trying to intimidate him into compliance but Rick has seen Kate do this hundreds of times before, and a lot more effectively as well.

"I'm sorry but I can't," Rick remains stubbornly adamant about this.

"Can any of the hotel staff confirm that you were in the room at that time then?"

"No. We ordered room service earlier but after that I didn't see any of the staff."

"And did you leave the hotel at any time that evening?"

"No, I checked in at 6 pm and I didn't leave until 9 am the next morning."

"You know that we will be checking with the hotel staff as well as the lobby surveillance cameras. Are you sure that you don't have anything else to say."

Rick feels a twinge of anxiety at that; Kate might be on the video surveillance but hopefully they won't recognize her. The two of them didn't arrive or leave together though, so they might not realize that she was the person there with him.

"No I think that's all I have to say."

"Look Mr Castle, this could become quite nasty. Do you know what the penalties are for assault?"

Rick says nothing and Tonkin takes that as a signal to intervene again.

"My client has declined to answer that question. If there is nothing more that you want to ask him then I think that we are done."

"Your client has a well publicized reason for wanting to hurt Miss Roberts, no credible alibi for the time that the assault happened and he's refusing to co-operate. We could detain him on that basis alone." Linquist tries to bluff it, but Tonkin hasn't become a partner in a big law firm by being gullible.

"You and I both know that if you had any evidence then you would have already got a warrant for his arrest. So, as far as I am concerned we are done here. If you wish to speak to my client again then I would appreciate it if you would contact my offices first, he won't be speaking to you again without legal representation."

The detectives don't protest as both lawyers get up so Rick takes this as a sign that he is also free to go and follows Tonkin and his colleague out of the interrogation room.

"Thanks again Matt, you're a godsend," Rick shakes the other man's hand.

"I don't called that very often as a lawyer," Tonkin laughs. "If you have any more hassles with the cops then just call me, you've got my mobile number."

"Don't take this the wrong way Matt but I hope that I don't have to talk to you again for a good long time."

The little trip to the police station has effectively derailed any further writing efforts for today. Rick spends the rest of his afternoon flitting between various mindless activities in the hopes that it will distract him. Without his mother or Alexis there, the loft is disturbingly silent. He could call Kate – he wants to call her – but he's already decided that he'll try and shield her from this latest development, if at all possible.

So instead he's spent the last two hours trying to move a set of cards, one by one, from his desk to the other side of the room. It sounds easy enough to do by hand, but is much harder when each card is transported and placed on the growing stack by his remote control helicopter.

He's two-thirds of the way through the set when he's interrupted by the second unexpected knock on his door for day. There's a mixture of anxiety and anger rolling around in his stomach as Rick goes to answer the door. If this is the police again then he's going to be …

"Kate! What are you doing here?" Rick looks over her shoulder, down the hall way, as if he expects to see a horde of reporters following her.

"Relax," she tells him as she walks into the lounge. "I phoned ahead and your doorman let me in through the back service entrance. No-one saw me."

His doorman, Sid, is a good guy and Rick makes a note to give him a very good bonus this year for Christmas. Still, it's quite a risk that she's taken coming over to his place.

"You know that I love having you here, but are you sure that this is wise? I thought that we agreed that we're lying low until the story blows over."

Kate ignores his comment and instead asks him a question. "Why didn't you call me?"

"We just saw each other this morning and I thought that you would still be at work now."

"You get pulled in for questioning about a possible assault on Kimmy Roberts and you didn't think to call me," she shakes her head. "I thought that we sorted this out last night. We are in this together, so don't even think about hiding stuff from me."

"I'm sorry Kate, I thought I was protecting you. I didn't want you to worry, I should have told you," Rick knows he was wrong, he meant well, but he was still wrong. "How did you find out?"

"Ryan used to work at the 6th and an old friend of his gave him a heads up about you being brought in for questioning. He didn't give us too many details so I need you to tell me the rest."

"Ok, I'll tell you everything, but what are we going to do then? I'm not so certain that this thing is ever going to go away by itself now."

"What we're going to do is work this like a case, we're going to solve this, and make Kimmy Roberts sorry that she ever messed with us."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Kate stares at the scarce facts that they have collected on Rick's flash 'murder board'. Normally he uses it to sketch out the plot points for his latest book but for today it's been commandeered for Operation Kimmy.

"Tell me why we're looking at the charity dinner night as well, when the assault charges only apply to Tuesday night?" Rick asks. "It feels like we're making it harder than it needs to be, proving me innocent of both events. Can't we just focus on the criminal charges?"

"The first priority is to clear you of the criminal charges, but I think that we really need to discredit her story about both nights, it's the only way that we can get the press to back down. Otherwise there might still be some people who question your reputation Rick."

"Ok, how do we do that then Detective?"

"In terms of the night of the alleged assault, I'm your alibi but people might claim that I'm lying to cover up for you because we're involved. So we need to show that either she wasn't where she said she was, or that the physical evidence doesn't back up her claims."

"Well I don't want to sound like a pessimist but we don't have a lot of facts to go with here."

"We don't at the moment, but we will," Kate assures him. There's a knock at his front door at just the right time. "That will be the guys," she tells him as she goes to let them in.

"Thanks for helping me out guys," Rick shakes hands with Ryan and Esposito as they file into his office.

"No problem bro. We're family, if she goes after one of us, she goes after all of us," Esposito explains as he sits down in one of the chairs. "We'll get you off these charges in no time." He pauses. "You are innocent aren't you?"

Esposito's only joking but Kate speaks up anyway.

"Yes he is. I was with him at the time that the assault supposedly happened."

Ryan and Esposito exchange a significant glance, they both know that altercation was meant to have gone down at ten pm on Tuesday night and they also know that Castle hasn't been into the station lately because of the press, so what were Castle and Beckett up to?

Kate intercepts the look and correctly guesses that the boys have figured it out. One plus one equals two, and there's no point in her trying to deny it. Besides, after the intrusion of the media, she doesn't mind coming clean with her friends.

"Yes I was with Rick. So I'm going to give you girls a minute to squeal and get it out of your system, and then we have to get back to work."

Ryan contents himself with just an eyebrow lift and a smirk, but Esposito can't help it, he has to make a comment.

"So it's Rick now is it? Very cozy," he's got a shit-eating grin on his face, as he teases the newly outed couple.

Kate just rolls her eyes while Rick grins, the guys have been watching the pair of them dance around each other for years, both denying what everyone else could see. So she lets them have their moment of triumph, the little I-told-you-so digs before they get back to the serious matter at hand.

"So did you bring the files?" she asks Ryan.

Ryan hands out manila folders with some photocopied sheets to all of them; it's the police notes from the interview that Linquist and DeSouza conduct with Roberts after she filed her complaint. "Yeah, sorry it took a few days but I was waiting on my buddy at the 6th to come through with the goods."

Officially none of them can be involved in this case, given their relationship with Castle. This is all off the books, so Kate couldn't just request access to the files in the normal way, they've had to call in favors in order to get the information that they require.

Everyone is silent as they read through the file, individually processing the story.

"Roberts was supposedly out walking her dog, she's done a circuit of the block and is on the corner of Dunford and Thompson St. She's in front of the deli, only a hundred yards from home when a man got out of one the parked cars and ran towards her. She said it was too dark to positively identify him but she thought that his general build matches Rick's. The man tries to grab her and drag her to his car but her dog starts barking and it scares the guy off," Kate sums up all the important points as Rick types it into his laptop so that they are displayed on the crime board. "There doesn't seem to be any glaring inconsistencies. Her story sounds plausible enough. Did anything seem strange to any of you guys?"

"Why would a rich socialite be out walking her dog at night? Wouldn't she hire a dog walker for that?" asks Esposito.

"That's a good point; see if you can find out if she has a regular dog walker, maybe you could have a little chat with them. We can find out what the usual routine is, but unfortunately that still doesn't mean that she couldn't have spontaneously decided to break that routine and just happened to be out walking her dog that night. Ryan and I are going to go and talk with the neighbors, see if any of them heard anything that night. I know that Linquist and DeSouza have already done it, the report says that no-one saw or heard anything but they may have missed something."

"What can I do Kate?" Rick asks.

Instead of answering him, Kate looks over at Ryan. "Did you get hold of the surveillance tapes?"

"Yeah, here you go," Ryan pulls out a stack of discs from his bag. "My cousin's firm handles all the security for the museum; they keep all the video footage for six months before it gets wiped."

"Ok Rick, you get to go over all the surveillance from that charity dinner. See if you can find anything that backs up your story. We'll meet back here at three pm."

* * *

The team dynamics are all wrong; he should be the one going with Kate to canvas the neighbors for potential witnesses, not Ryan. Rick knows that he's a liability at this stage, but he can't help the pang of longing; he'd much rather be out there with Kate instead of viewing hours of video footage.

He allows himself that moment of self-pity before he snaps out of it. 'Come on Rick,' he tells himself, 'your friends have given up their time to do this for you, the least you can do is hold up your end.'

The pep talk gets him through the first hour of mind-numbing viewing, it's like a really boring movie without any sound. The video is from several different cameras and he quickly works out the pattern so that he can focus on just the cameras that record from the function room and the room with the Egyptian display. Even with those narrowed parameters there are still several hours of video to go over.

He watches the events from that night unfolding over and over again. There, in grainy black and white, he sees Roberts ambush him as he looks over the exhibits. If this was a horror movie he'd be jumping up and down, shouting at his image on the screen to get out of there, the monsters only attack when you're on your own.

Unfortunately none of the camera angles are helpful, all that you can see is his hand on her breast, they don't show the fact that she's the one who grabs his hand first and places it there. It's not until he's watching it again from the final camera angle that something else catches his eye, it's a glint reflecting off something shiny, something that looks like another camera.

He freezes the frame and tries to zoom in, unfortunately the picture quality is horrendous and all it does is make the frame look pixilated instead of adding any further detail. Rick is sure that there are only three cameras in the exhibition hall and he's already looked at the footage from the other two already. Yet on this frame there appears to be another camera which is unaccounted for, so where is the footage from that camera?

"Hey Ryan, did you get all the video from the museum?" Rick calls him up.

"Yeah, my cousin gave me everything that they had recorded. Why?"

"It's just that I've looked at the film and I think that there might be a fourth camera in the exhibition hall but there's only video from three cameras. Can you ask your cousin if he knows anything about that fourth camera?"

"Ok, I'll call him now and then I'll get back to you about it."

It's a tense ten minutes before Rick's phone rings, he pounces on it immediately.

"Hey Castle you were right," Ryan tells him. "The fourth camera was installed especially for this exhibit, the British Museum insisted on having their own one put in as a condition for them lending out the Rosetta stone. Unfortunately the video from that camera was recorded by some English firm that covers all the security for the British Museum so I can't access it."

"Thanks Ryan, and don't worry I think that I might have a contact who can help me out with that. I'll talk to you later." Rick hangs up and starts scrolling through his list of phone contacts, what he didn't tell Ryan was that he had a holiday fling with an assistant curator at the British Museum a few years ago. He wouldn't normally have kept the number of a woman that he slept with five years ago now but they parted on good terms, and she was a really good source when he was doing some research on Babylonian burial practices for a Derrick Storm novel.

"Hi Anna, this is Rick Castle," Rick says once she picks up.

"Hi Rick, it's been a long time. What are you doing calling me? Are you in merry olde England?" she asks.

"No, unfortunately not, I'm still in New York. Sorry this isn't a social call, I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

"That's a shame; I would have enjoyed showing you the highlights of London. So what's this favor that you need, more research material?"

"No, I need to see the surveillance video that your museum set up for the Rosetta stone at the New York Metropolitan Museum. Do you know anyone on the security side that might be able to help me out? I'm particularly interested in the evening of the10th of May."

"Oh yes, I heard about the trouble that you've been having lately, and don't worry I didn't believe a word of it," she assures him

"Thanks Anna. So can you help me out?"

"Yeah I have a friend in security. I can get him to send it to you."

"The sooner the better," he tells her. "And thanks again Anna."

"Just give me your email address and I'll get him to email it to you, it might take a couple of hours but you should have it by the end of today."

They both hang up after another round of thanks from Rick's end. He's trying not to get too optimistic about this, it might end up being nothing at all and his hopes would be dashed. In the meantime there's nothing to do but just wait for that email. He's still thinking about it as the video surveillance continues to play out on his laptop, it's from one of the cameras that he wouldn't have looked at because it's from exhibit hall five which was meant to be closed that evening. Somehow that message must not have gotten through to everyone though because he sees the figure of Kimmy Roberts disappearing into that room and she wasn't alone.

**A/N: Thanks to daphnebeauty and foreverhopefuloflove who suggested using the security cameras, hopefully it will be enough to get Castle out of this mess : )**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Kate looks back down her side of the road as she crosses off the last address on her list; they've divided it that way so that she's talked to every neighbour on the right hand side. Unfortunately she's turned up nothing which is disappointing; she can only hope that Ryan has had more luck on his side of the street.

She's sitting in her car waiting for the other detective, idly looking at the other cars parked in front of her. There's a dull nagging sensation, something about this scene isn't right but she can't quite put her finger on it. 'What's wrong with this picture?' she asks herself silently and then inspiration hits. Kate pulls out the interview notes again as she checks out the wording on the traffic signs posted on the street. 'No parking, Mon-Fri.'

Today is the weekend which explains the cars all lined up along the side of the street, but on a Tuesday night there shouldn't have been any cars parked here at all. Any car that was parked illegally would have been towed away, especially in a neighbourhood like this where the residents are likely to complain about that kind of thing. The tow companies are usually out so quickly that the driver has barely had time to get out of their car before it's towed away.

She checks the wording on the interview notes, and yes there it is in black and white; Roberts claimed that the man had come out of one the parked cars – cars plural – so either there had been a lot of drivers willing to risk the possibility of being fined and towed or Roberts had been lying.

The case is cracking open, Kate knows that is only a bit of the puzzle but soon they will have enough to prove Rick innocent and hopefully charge Roberts with making a false complaint.

The ringing of her phone interrupts the silence and Ryan's name and picture flashes up on screen as she goes to answer it.

"Hey Beckett, I'm at number 89 with the owner, Mrs Owens. I think that you need to come here, she's got something that you will want to hear."

It only takes five minutes before Kate is ensconced in a comfortable sofa as Mrs Owens tries to press a cup of tea and biscuit on her. The elderly woman is obviously lapping up the attention being paid to her by the two detectives.

"Are you sure that I can't offer you some refreshments Detective Beckett?"

"No, I'm fine thank you ma'am. If you could just tell me what you saw on Tuesday night that would be very helpful."

"I like to people watch so I'm often looking out my window. It's not the same as being nosy."

"Of course it isn't," Kate assures her. "And if you did see something then it would be very helpful to this investigation." She deliberately leaves out the fact that neither of the detectives present are actually officially assigned to this particular investigation. "So what did you see Mrs Owens?"

"I didn't see anything on Tuesday night and that's what I told those other two detectives when they asked me about it."

Kate lifts an eyebrow as she looks over at Ryan, he called her in to hear that this woman saw nothing?

"Mrs Owens, can you tell Detective Beckett exactly what you told me?" Ryan coaxes the woman into explaining further.

"Well those other detectives asked me if I saw anything unusual and I had to answer truthfully that I didn't see anything. But I did see that woman walking her dog at 10 pm, however there was nothing unusual about that so I didn't mention it."

"Are you sure that the woman that you saw was Kimmy Roberts?" Kate asks, the elderly woman seems lovely but vague; she wants to make sure that Mrs Owens wasn't confused, especially if it was dark. "At that time of the evening it would have been dark and if she was some distance away then you could have mistaken her with someone else."

"Oh no it's wasn't dark at all. The deli next door has this security light that comes on every time that someone walks past, the damn thing is so bright that I had to put in new blackout curtains because I couldn't sleep at night. So I saw her as plain as day when she walked past my window, she couldn't have been more than a couple of yards away. Besides, I'd know that dog of hers anywhere. It's always barking up a storm when you go near it, so much so that I'm scared to walk past it. So yes, it was definitely Miss Roberts and her dog."

"So what did you see Miss Roberts do?"

"Well she just walked along the road past my place to her apartment."

"Did you see a man approach her at any stage?"

"Oh no dear, it was just her and the dog."

Kate could feel a grin forming on her face; Mrs Owens was the slam dunk that they needed, with her statement they were going to be able to lay this thing to rest. But for completeness sake she asks the elderly woman a couple more questions.

"By the way, on that night did you happen to notice any cars parked along the street?"

"Heavens no, there definitely weren't any cars parked on the street on Tuesday, they aren't allowed to park here on week nights. I know for a fact that Mr Ellis next door – such an angry man, but then he is a lawyer – he's on the phone to the parking wardens immediately if a car is parked illegally in front of his place."

"I've just got one last question Mrs Owens. Was the dog barking that night?"

"Now that you mention it, no I didn't hear it all. That was something strange because her dog is a barker. Is that important?"

"It's just a small detail but it all adds to the picture. Thank you very much Mrs Owens, you've been very helpful. The other detectives that you spoke to before, Linquist and DeSouza, they will be visiting you again to take your statement in the next few days."

"Oh, but aren't you the police dear? I thought that I just gave my statement to you," Mrs Owens looks rightly confused.

Kate is a little discombobulated by the question, while Ryan just looks like he wants to laugh.

"Yes we are the police but Detectives Linquist and DeSouza are with a different precinct and they will probably want to confirm all of this for themselves," Kate finally answers, everything that she says is strictly true even if it isn't the complete story. Somehow she manages to placate Mrs Owens' curiosity with that. They make their excuses and escape before the woman can ask any more difficult questions.

"Good answer back there," Ryan tells her as they get into her car.

"Yeah, thanks for the help," she tells him sarcastically.

"I helped! I found Mrs Owens didn't I? I thought that was mighty helpful."

Kate snorts as she has to concede that point. "Fine, you were a big help. Let's go back to Rick's place. We've accomplished our mission, hopefully the others have been equally successful."

* * *

It's a very happy group of cops – plus one writer – that gathers for the second time that day in Rick's office.

"I guess you won't be going up the river to Sing Sing after all Rick," Kate teases him as she sinks into a chair.

"It's a shame because Beckett was looking forward to slapping some cuffs on you, I guess you guys will just have to save that for the bedroom," Ryan chimes in.

Rick looks between the two cops who are grinning from ear to ear, it's obvious that they've discovered something and he allows a relieved smile to form on his own face.

"What did you guys find?" the writer asks.

"Just the curious case of the dog that barked," Kate says mysteriously, "or in this case the dog that didn't bark."

Rick and Esposito are puzzling over that cryptic sentence for a second before Ryan explains.

"We managed to find a resident who saw Kimmy Roberts walking her dog that night. Unfortunately for Ms Roberts that's the only part of her story that was true. Our witness gave a statement saying that Roberts made it home uneventfully, there wasn't a man who tried to grab her, and the dog didn't bark because there was no-one to scare off. Hence the curious case of the dog that didn't bark."

"Thank you guys," the relief is evident in Rick's voice. "I could kiss you all right now."

Ryan takes a step back, his hands up as if to ward off the exuberant writer. "That's ok, I think I might give it a pass."

Rick does manage to plant one on Kate though as he grabs her up in a big bear hug. She turns her head at the last moment so that his lips end up on the side of her face instead, a faint blush of embarrassment tinging her cheeks pink.

"Not in front of the kids," she tells him with a laugh.

The boys are laughing as well; Esposito nudges his partner, "Look Mom and Dad are kissing, I might be scarred for life."

"Esposito, for that smartass remark I'm going to make you go through the phone records for all the new cases over the next month," Kate threatens.

"I have a better idea, I think we should scar him for real." Rick holds Kate's face firmly so that this time she can't turn head as his lips lock with hers for the count of ten. She finally breaks free with a fake scowl on her face, Kate can understand why he's so happy so she'll let him get away with the PDA on this occasion.

"So did you manage to find anything on the security tapes?" There will be time for fun and games later, for now she's going back into Detective Beckett mode.

"Unfortunately none of the cameras were at the right angle, so there's no footage that exonerates me," Rick's still smiling as he admits his 'lack of success.'

"Not even on that extra camera that you found?" Ryan asks.

"No."

"So why are you still smiling then?" Esposito asks the obvious question because they can all tell that Rick has found something.

"Well the security videos might not prove me innocent but Kimmy Roberts doesn't know that, does she?"

"So you're going to try to bluff your way out?" Ryan asks him.

"No, it's not just that," Kate's shaking her head as she looks at Rick. Three years of a close partnership have taught her all of his tells, and he's definitely holding something up his sleeve.

"I am going to try and out-bluff her, but you're right, I did find out something interesting as well. Something that Kimmy Roberts would probably prefer to keep secret." Rick deliberately pauses, it's the writer in him that wants to draw out the suspense. He looks around at the other three as if waiting for them to guess what it might be.

"Just spit it out Rick before I have to shoot you," Kate warns him.

He gives a little pout because she's spoiling his surprise but then that shit-eating grin is back again.

"Let's just say that if this ever came out and was made into a television movie then the title would be 'Siblings at War: greed, passion and sleeping with your sister's husband'. Pretty explosive stuff huh."

"No way bro, she's sleeping with her sister's husband?" Esposito says as if he can't believe it.

"Caught in glorious technicolour … actually it's in grainy black and white but you get the general idea. I think that with this information I can convince Roberts to release a press statement saying that she lied about everything." Rick grabs Kate's hand to give it a squeeze, his next comment is directed at her. "Let's see how Kimmy likes being hounded twenty-four hours a day by the press."

"It might just work," Kate nods her head in approval. "Gentlemen I think it's time that we called Detectives Linquist and DeSouza and let them know that we've solved their case for them."

**A/N: 'Revenge is sweet and not fattening' Alfred Hitchcock. I say bring on the revenge :)**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Kate and Rick observe the conversation on the viewing side of the one way mirror. Strictly speaking it wasn't the usual procedure to allow the victim of a false complaint to watch the interview but they had asked nicely and it didn't hurt that Rick had a lot of connections. They're joined in there by one of the assistant district attorneys.

Roberts walks in escorted by her lawyer, she seems relaxed but she doesn't realize the real reason for why she's been called in. As far as she's aware this is just a follow up interview because there have been developments in her case. Roberts is so cocky in fact that she's even flirting with Detective DeSouza.

"Look at that smirk on her face; I can't wait until she gets smacked down."

Rick is gloating and Kate can't say that she's not feeling a bit of the same emotion herself. After all the problems that this woman has caused them it feels good to see her get what she deserves. But she doesn't say that because it's unprofessional. Instead she watches with a neutral face, although she does give Rick's hand a quick squeeze when no one is looking.

"We called you back because we need to go over your statement again Ms Roberts," Linquist is looking down at the paperwork as if this is just a routine follow up. "Can you tell me again where you were when this man tried to grab you?"

"I was walking my dog on Thompson St, past the deli on the corner when this guy came up to me and tried to pull me into his car."

"Did you recognize the man; is he someone that you know?"

"It was Richard Castle, he's been harassing me ever since I turned down his advances at a charity dinner. The loser doesn't know when to give up."

Rick starts grinding his teeth, listening to Roberts lie so blatantly is hard, he wants to bang on the mirror and yell at her but Kate's presence beside him holds him back.

"We'll see whose the real loser is in a minute," the writer whisper

"What happened then?" Linquist asks on the other side of the glass.

"Well my dog, Jax, started barking and it scared him off," Roberts sticks to her story a little too well. It's almost exactly the same statement that she gave the detectives a few days ago, word-for-word; as if she's rehearsed it before.

"Are you're sure that it was Richard Castle?" DeSouza asks gently, giving Roberts a smile as if he's on her side.

"Of course I'm sure, didn't I just say that?"

The two detectives exchange a glance; that was the statement that they were waiting for. Roberts doesn't know that she's just shot herself in the foot but she's about to find out.

"We interviewed Mr. Castle and he has an alibi for the time that the assault supposedly happened."

"Well then he and his alibi are both lying," Roberts retorts.

"Do you know what I think?" Linquist asks her a rhetorical question. "I think that you're the one who is lying, and unfortunately for you I can prove it."

Roberts' face has gone a mottled red color as anger floods her, she doesn't react well when things aren't going her way. She looks like she's ready to scratch Linquist's face off for calling her a liar but her lawyer has a restraining hand on her shoulder; he's well aware of his client's fiery temper.

"There are just a lot of little things that don't add up in your story, plus we have a witness who saw you walking your dog that night. They've given us a statement saying that they didn't see anyone try to grab you that night." DeSouza is still smiling at Roberts as he says this, but now there's no pretence of being friendly on his face.

"Maybe I got the nights wrong," Roberts is hedging; still trying to salvage the situation.

"Don't waste my time," Linquist warns her. "You're already in enough trouble as it is. Your lawyer can tell you what the penalty for laying a false complaint with the police is. You don't want to add stupidity to the charges as well. Officer Childs will take you downstairs now for processing."

The two cops get up and exit the room, they've gotten everything that they need.

"I think that's my cue to get to work," the ADA excuses herself as she leaves Kate and Rick on their own.

Rick pumps his fist in the air while Kate just allows herself a smile of satisfaction. It's a very heady feeling to watch Roberts' face crumble as the implications of her lie come tumbling down on her, it couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.

Linquist and DeSouza join them briefly in the observation room.

"It's good to see you again Mr. Castle. Sorry about the last time that you were here," Linquist apologizes gruffly.

Rick shakes his hand, gracious in victory. "That's ok Detective, you were just doing your job."

"I hope that watching that little scene there made up for it in some small way," DeSouza says.

"Yeah it did, thanks for that. That last line of yours - 'you don't want to add stupidity to the charges as well'- that was pure genius. I'm almost tempted to ask the Mayor if I can start shadowing you guys around instead of Detective Beckett here."

The two male cops exchange a look of alarm, they've seen how disruptive the writer can be.

"Relax guys, Castle is only pulling your chain," Kate assures them.

Linquist gives a nervous smile as if he's not sure that Castle is only joking. Beckett seems like a straight forward kind of cop and she has a good reputation over at the 12th, so he can't quite see how she puts up with the writer's antics all the time.

"We've got one other favor to ask you. Can we talk to Roberts for a minute, preferably without her lawyer?" Linquist looks a bit hesitant at Kate's request but she presses on. "Don't worry it's nothing illegal. I just want to make sure that she knows better than to lie to the police again."

"Ok, I'll do it as a professional courtesy to another cop. I'll get Childs to put her in a holding cell by herself, you can talk to her from the outside, that's as much privacy as we can give you. Don't do anything stupid," the last bit Linquist directs at Castle.

"I promise to be on my best behavior," Rick holds his hands up in innocence.

* * *

"Let me do the talking Rick," Kate warns him as they take the lift down. "This is going to be part bluff, part intimidation and you can't carry it off."

"Ok you can play the bad cop then, I'll play good cop."

"No," Kate puts one hand on his chest to stop him from getting out of the lift and the other one on the doors so that they can't close. "I'm going to be the bad cop and you're going to be the silent civilian."

"I get it, you want to save the role playing for later when we're alone. My lips are sealed," he mimes zipping his mouth shut.

She rolls her eyes at his antics but lets her hand fall from his chest as they both exit the lift.

They find Roberts sitting on a bench on the far side of the cell. Kate looks at her through the iron bars. The detective surveys the scenery, taking in the unadorned grey concrete of the walls.

"It's a bit of a comedown from your Manhattan apartment isn't it?"

Roberts just sits in sullen silence and doesn't reply to Kate's taunt. That's ok because Kate's just starting.

"I'm Detective Beckett and I think that you already know Mr. Castle."

Roberts continues to stare at a point on the wall, making a deliberate show of ignoring them.

"You've gotten into a very bad habit of lying," Kate tells the other woman. "Maybe you've gotten away with it before, but this time you've lied about the wrong person. I don't take kindly to people messing with my partner." She doesn't raise her voice and her tone is calm throughout but there's a real threat in her message.

"This little jaunt into the criminal system is only part of the way that you're going to make it up to him. When your daddy coughs up the bail money and you finally get out of here the first thing you're going to do is release a press statement saying that you lied about everything. That you made up that story about Mr. Castle, that none of your allegations were true including the story from the charity dinner."

"Yeah right I'm going to do that," Roberts just scoffs, she might be facing criminal charges but there's no way that they can force her to say that to the press.

Kate smiles but there's no warmth in it.

"Yes, you are going to do it," she tells the woman behind the bars. "You're going to do it because it's the truth and because we can prove it. We have the security camera footage from the museum, it shows you clearly taking Mr. Castle's hand and placing it on your breast. You're the one who came onto him and not the other way around, in fact it shows him turning you down as well."

"I don't believe you. If you have this video then you could just release that to the press, why would you need me to make the statement?" Roberts is trying to sound defiant but it comes out sounding hesitant instead.

"I don't need you to make the statement but I think that I will find it more satisfying if you have to face the press and admit that you're a liar, no more hiding behind your father and his money."

Rick is in awe of Kate's ability to be convincing, if he hadn't watched the videos for himself then he would never have thought that she was bluffing. More importantly he can see that Roberts is starting to buy it as well.

"Besides I think that you'll find that you really don't want the press to get their hands on the tape," Kate continues. "If you're going to have sex in a public place you could at least pick a partner who wasn't already married. I'm guessing that your family gatherings would be a lot more interesting if this tape got out."

The color drains out of Roberts face as she realizes exactly what was on the security video and with it all hint of resistance.

"Make the statement, you don't want to face the consequences of crossing me," Kate warns her. Roberts nods in defeat, there's no way out of this situation and she accepts the inevitable.

Only Rick can see the signs of relief on Kate's face now that Roberts has capitulated, she's pulled it off. He wants to grab her up in a big hug but she would probably shoot him if he did. So instead he whispers to her, "Can I say something now?"

"I'm probably going to regret it but ok," she gives him permission.

Rick's got a big grin on his face as he looks directly at Roberts, "Bam! said the lady."

Kate turns and walks back to the lift, giving her back to both Rick and Roberts so that they can't see her smiling, she's going to keep playing bad cop until they get out of here. She takes about ten steps before she realizes that Rick isn't following her.

"Are you coming Castle?" she asks him over her shoulder.

Rick gives Roberts one last smirk and then he turns to trot after Kate; happy as ever to follow after the woman who is his muse, his partner and his love.

**A/N: The end is in sight, just the epilogue to go. Thanks for reading. And for gmay, I finally worked that sentence into the story, Bam said the lady : )**


	35. Epilogue

Epilogue

"You know that you don't have to do this," Rick tells her for the third time. "I would totally understand if you wanted to give it a miss."

"I've told you that I want to go, so stop hovering. You can wait in the lounge if you can't stop fretting," Kate says to his reflection as she checks her makeup in the mirror. One last swipe with the lipstick and she's ready to go.

The metallic bronze sheath dress hugs her figure and shimmers with every movement. It seems to sparkle but not as brightly as the solitaire diamond earrings that she is putting on. Even amongst all the other beautiful women who will be there tonight Kate will standout. The clothes, the makeup, the accessories, and her stunning beauty would be enough to grab anyone's eye.

"You know that there will be photographers there," he warns her as he tries to fix his black bow tie. "We could end up on page six of tomorrow's paper."

She just rolls her eyes at that; as if she hasn't already considered all the implication of going to the Nikki Heat premier on Rick's arm. She turns to survey the mess that he's made of the material, brushing his hands away so that she can tie it for him instead.

"I thought that you would want to avoid the limelight for a while, especially after what happened last month," he tells her.

Life is only finally getting back to normal after the whole Kimmy Roberts affair. Three blissful weeks of not having the press camped out on her front door and being able to do her job as a cop without interference.

"Hmmm," Kate murmurs as she finally gets his bow tie to sit just right. "I can't send you on your own, look what happened that last time," she jokes.

He takes her hands in his own, stopping her fussing for a moment. "As much as I appreciate the babysitting services, are you sure that you are ready for the intrusion into your private life again?"

Kate looks up to meet his eyes, giving him her full attention. "I can cope with it. We're together and this kind of thing is a part of your life so unless we stay in the closet forever then from time to time I'm going to have my photo taken. And yes, sometimes the pictures or the stories that accompany them may not be flattering. But I knew this might happen even before I decided to sleep with you."

Rick is hesitant to bring it up but that's not how he remembers their first time together, "I thought that first time was because you were upset over Josh's accident and I just happened to be there." If that crash hadn't happened then he and Kate would probably still be dancing around each other.

There's an uncertainty in his voice, she can tell that he still has fears about their relationship stemming back to how it all started. Even now after they've admitted their love, he still has concerns. Kate drops her gaze back to his bow tie, Rick deserves to know the truth about that night but she's not brave enough to look into his eyes as she confesses.

"Maybe the situation wasn't ideal, and maybe we got together for all the wrong reasons. But even before that night I'd chosen you," Kate takes a deep breath and then pushes on with the rest of it. "I never told you why Josh and I fought … the reason why we broke up. It was because I couldn't get you out of my head and Josh knew it. I've been in love with you, Richard Castle, for a very long time."

He's stunned by her confession; unsure of what to say. As a writer he should be able to say something poetic and touching at this moment but no words come to mind that encompass everything that he's feeling so he lets his actions speak instead. Rick pulls Kate in as his lips seek out hers, there's a fiery passion as well as a calm, profound love in that kiss. It combines both thunder as well as well as the stillness after the storm because she is everything to him.

"I love you too Kate," he tells her once the kiss finally ends.

"Ok, so let's go and face the cameras then," she says as she pulls back. "Actually, hold on a minute," Kate contradicts herself in the next sentence because his mouth is smeared with her lipstick. Pulling out a tissue from her clutch purse she uses it to dab away most of the color but leaves a little spot of red right at the corner of his mouth.

So what if their picture is going to be taken tonight? That little red spot is her mark on him, let the world see that Richard Castle belongs to one Katherine Beckett and she belongs to him.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who made it to the end, your company has made this a very enjoyable journey.**


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